(wOrD WrAp tHiS) Sonic the Hedgehog's Ultimate Adventures Episode 2 "Robotnik's Big Break" By Sonic Fan Send your comments, questions, sugggestions, flames, requests to make this into a movie and/or card game to: soniciscool@yahoo.com Get the previous episode at the SONIC FAN homepage http://members.xoom.com/SONIC_FAN/ And now the famous =======LEGAL STUFF======== Sonic is a copyright of Archie comics and Sega. All other characters are copyrights of their respecive owners, as are all trademarks, companies, songs and misc things. SONIC FAN does not claim ownership of anything in or any part of the following story.Don't try to sell this story for money or you might get into big trouble. =======END LEGAL STUFF. COMMENCE FANFIC========= #_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_# Sonic the Hedgehog's Ultimate Adventures "Robotnik's Big Break" #_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_# In the last episode of SHTUA.... Back in the other dimension of Sonic fights Robonik 5, Agent 00-tails was contaced by HQ about the stolen *ORACLE*. Robo Shlobo of the robotic mafia had stolen it. After an attempt on Miles' life failed, Robo fled the karaoke club. An action-packed car chase ensued, but the *ORACLE* sucked them into another dimension! Back on Mobius all was peaceful, SUDDENLY Miles arrived, with an uninvited guest ROBO SHLOBO ROBONIK! Meanwhile on 1998 earth Robotnik and snivley escaped there through a time portal. BA-BOOM! They stole Pat Buchannans car and crashed into a wall. BA-BANG! BAck on Moboius, Sonic n pals battled Robo Sholobo. After they demolished a 7-11, Robo escaped, which brings us to the beginning of the next episode.... #_#_#_#_#_#_#_# Robotnik: Doo doo doo doo doo.... (a filing cabinet explodes and Robotnik jumps out) Robotnik: IT'S THE ROBOTNIK SHOW!!!! (SWAT bots clap and cheer) Bots: YAY...WHOO-HOO Robotnik: Let's give it up for Snivley and the SWAT bot Orchestra! Bots: (clapclapclap) WHOO....YEAH Snivley and the bots play Mambo #5 Bots: (song ends) YAY. YAY. YAY. Robotnik: Now it's time for....THE SWAT MISSLE!!! Bots: (much hooting and hollering) 2 worker bots roll the missle launch pad out onto the stage while Snivley's band plays "Spirit in the sky" Robotnik: (holding a NES Advantage controller) 10 seconds to launch... Bots: 3....2....1 Robotnik pushes the start button. *BLOOP* Missle: *WHOOOOOOOOOOSH* Bots: (jump out of the missles path as it flies out the studio doors) AHHHH! Robotnik: Hey-ooooo! The missle flies away from the death egg, over the buildings of robotropolis, towards the great Forest. Robotnik: And now let's turn on the missle cam! Snivley flips a switch. The missle-eye view is displayed on the big screen on stage. Robontik: (controlling the missle with the joystick) dum dee doo The screen shows trees flying by Bird: SKWAAAAAAK! The missle flies through a tree canopy and into knothole Antoine: ZACRE BLUE SHEEEEZER!!!! (jumps into a pile of metal pipes) Bunnie: YIP YIP YEEARG!! (dives into the dirt) Tails: Wah! Ah! WAH WHA! (jumps over the missle) Robotnik: Woah! hey look out! heh heh The missle is on a direct course to sonic! Sonic: (turns around) HUH!?! WOAH DUDE! (runs away) The missle chases sonic Sonic: Yo slow missle dude! Chow on this speeeed jam! (ZWOOSH!) Robtnik: Grrr lousy hedgehog....he-ya! yowza! Sonic runs through knowhole, jumping onto Rotor's wheelbarrow of machine parts , knocking it over SOnic: Comin thru rote! Rotor: WoooboogA! The missle chase sonic over the bridge, through the power ring pool, and into the window of Sally's hut Sonic: (runs onto the bed and bounces on it, dodging the missle) BOINGY BOINGY Sally: SONIC!!! Missle: (turns around) SWOOOOOSH! Sonic: Gotta jam sal, catch ya later! Sonic buzzsaws through the wall and runs out of the hut, while knocking over some expensive vases and statues. the missle pursues Robotnik: Ha ha...you have done well so far hedgehog, but let's see you match my turbo booster! (hits the A button) Missle: VRRRRRRRMMMM! NYEEEEEEEEEERRRRRR!!!!! Sonic: Holy strudle! Sonic dashes up a wall, jumps off, rolls on the ground through a tunnel, hops into a birdbath, dives into a vegetable garden and runs on the waterwheel and backflips onto the roof of a hut! Sonic: (pant pant pant) whew, i think i lost it Missle: ahem Sonic: (turns around) GAH!!! Missle: VWWRSH!!!!! Sonic ducks Missle: VWOSH! Sonic spins like a top, missle misses! Robotnik: (frantically pushes buttons) go go missle! GO! Sonic: (disappears) Robotnik: Huh? Sonic suddenly jumps out from behind weather vane and puts a garbage can over the missle! The screen goes black, then it shows sonic putting the lid on the can Sonic: Yo yo yo can't mess the blue speedin speed machine!!! The missles circuits short out Robotnik: BLAST! (throws down the controller) well, let's switch to the secret knothole surveilence camera *CLICK* the camera in the birdhouse shows sonic putting the garbage outside Geoffry St. George's hut. Sonic knocks on the door and runs away Geoffry: (opens the door) Hey punks, I don't want your garbage! BABAB-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!! The can explodes, blowing up the hut in a huge fireball Sonic: HA HA HA HA! Robotnik: HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Bots: HA.........HA............HA In the living room of Acorn Mansion, Sonic watches this on TV Sonic: Hhahahaha that was funny! (knee-slappin) Sally: Sonic, stop watching those Robotnik show tapes, we've got important planning to do Sonic: Yo sal, don't you think it's ironic that the King who got thrown into the void by Robotnik bought all the taped epidodes of Robotnik's show? Sally: It's a good show Sonic: I am in total agreement.... Hahaha, St. John got blown up good Sally: (laughs) yes, i always liked that episode In another room Tails and Uncle Bob are playing Super Street FIghter 2 on SNES Tails: HEEEEE-YAYAYYAYAYAY! Be warned, I am a ninja expert Bob: HAH! Ye cannot defeat the ninja MASTER! Tails: YAHYAHAYHYHAH! PUNCH! KICK! DEFEND! Bob: (casually pushes buttons) Tails: AHAGAGHAHG!!! (flails around doing complicated manouvers on the controller) Bob: yaaawwwn Ken: Hadoken! Shoyrouken! *BAM* *PLAH* *SPAK* Ryu: *BLOCK* *BLOCK* *BLOCK* Ken: KICKICKICK Tails: ULTIMATE COMBO.... HUH!?!!?!?!??????????? Ryu: Hi-yiiyiyiyiyiyiyiyyi! (jumps) *BLAMALBMLAMBVPAHBPAMBPABHA* Ken: (dies) oooo-uhhh! oooo-uuuh! *splat* YOU....WIN Tails: bu.....hu.....uh......o_O Bob: Ye want to try again, fool? Tails: YOU BET YOUR TRAILER I WANNA TRY AGAIN! Tails picks cammy, Bob picks E. Honda they fight in England Cammy: cannon drill! Ehonda: *BURP* Cammpy: heyehey hEE iII yAY AYA! kicky jump jump kick yee hi hi hi Ehonda: (trips cammy) hoomph cammy: (falls off the bridge) eeee-yyaaaahHh!!! thunk YOU.....WIN Tails: HAHUH???? GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!! Bob: Give up yet, boyeee? Tails: NONONO!!! GEEERRR I KILL YOU THIS TIME!!!! Bob picks Chun Li, Tails is Blanka They fight in China Blanka: Urg! punch punch zapity Chun Li: Swinging Bird kick! Blanka: GUmB! (falls) Bob: (pushes lots of buttons) heehee Tails: NO!!!!! A guy in the background runs over Blanka with his bike YOU....WIN Tails: YOU CHEEEEEEEEEEEEETED! Bob: Did not, lllloserboy Tails: One of these days I'll beat you good uncle bob! Yeah, then you'll see that I'm not just a kid I'll show you ALL and win the praise of the freedom fighters ... yeah then I'll make you all pay Sally: 5 minutes until the meeting! Tails: Woah! Bob: Woah! They run over Sally and out the door Meanwhile some other freedom fighters are chatting on IRC hihihihi :) hi rotor, you rotor yu ;) BLAH BLAH! Dulcy, LOL heeheeeheee Mogglemogglemoggle! jfkhafhjfd;;;; ROTFL *** Antoinne (Antoinne@freedomfighters.org) has joined #AcornMansionChat Allo! Antoinne! *zuggles Antonie* ;) Ze lou la, you all! O=o=O ise za ASCII of Boonie? ya ya ya ya! U get A c00kie! yip yip yip! :) :) :) :) :) Rotor wantS c00kie too! Bunnie gives rotor a c000kie LOL MMMmm c000kies Antoinne throws c00kies at every1 hahhaha *throw cookie* Dulcy slaps Rotor around a bit with a large cookie LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL Bunnie pole vaults Antoinne launches a TV into the stratosphere Bunnie *qfflez* Rotor :):):):) *** Sonic (packbell@robotropolis.net) has joined #AcornMansionChat type !xxxsonicpics for sonic p0rn SONIC! SONIC! HI SONIC! LOL HI THEAH SUGAH HAWG! ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) !xxxsonicpics LOL LOL Bunnie throws c00000koie at sonic!!!! =) any1 have l33t SeKurIty SystEm passw0rdz for Acr0n Mans1on? LOL Those are top secret. Are you sure you're the real Sonic? yes Ok sugah hawg, here ya go! :) COOOOOKIES! COOOOOKIES!!! Sally: You guys! The meeting! They're all in the computer room typing to each other Rotor: Ok Sally. LOL....oops, i'm not on IRC, heh :) Bunnie: COOKIE! #_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_# The Ruins of Robotropolis, the Death Egg The basement of the runined Death Egg has been refurnished to look like the old command center. Except insted of a command chair there is an old La-Z-boy with stuffing coming out of it, and instead of a master computer there is an atari 2600 hooked up to a black and white TV. Packbell: (typing at the computer) That was easier than I thought! #_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_# Acorn Mansion, The Confrence Room Sally: As you know, we are here to discuss the strategy to defeat our new enemy, Robo Shlobo. Is everyone here? ... good, I'll now give the talking stick to Mr. Uncle Chuck Hedgehog Chuck: (takes stick) Well howdy thar folx! All: HOWDY UNCLE CHUCK! Chuck: Hyuck hyuck, now a funny thing happened to me on the way to the meeting 'parrently I fell into a relm beyond time and space! So there I was floatin a long lookin for my car keys when... Sally: (takes the stick) we don't have time for this insolence! (hands the stick to Dr. Quack) Quack: (takes the stick) QUUUUUUACK QUUUUACK WUUUAAKKKK Sally: (takes the stick and hands it to Geoffry St. John) Geoffry: Now let's get back on topic shall we? There are three rings of power forged by the elven kings. But the most powerful of the rings is in the hands of the ring-bearer. The one ring, the one the dark lord seeks Sally: (bangs her head against the table) *BONK* *BONK* *BONK*.....hold on, where's Miles? #_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_# The First National Mobian Bank Teller: (hands big coins to an otter) thirty-four thirty-five... *KA-POW! Robo kicks through the glass door! Armed with a machine gun he is followed by Snivley and Coconuts Robo: Stick em up Mobians! Your bank is being robbed by the new and improved robtic mafia! Teller: NAnanananananaa... Robo: (Walks up to teller and points the machine gun up his nose) Now listen up, put the money in the bag and NO FUNNY STUFF CAPICE??? Teller: yy-y-y-y-y-ya...ya-ya-ya-ya-yessir Snivley hands a garbage bag to the teller Teller: eeeep! e-e-e-eeep! (puts coins in the bag) Robo: I'm gettin impatient here... Teller: AH! ah-ah-AHH! (puts coins in faster) The otter pulls the alarm switch BOOGIE-BOOGIE-WHOOOP! Robo: HEY!!!! (shoots the otter) Otter: Arrrrg! *bam* Muskrat: NOOOOOO! OTTER!!! Otter: Grrrg...garrrf.. Alarm: BUUZZZZ! BUZZZZZZ! BUZZZZZ! warning police are coming, warning police are coming BUZZZZZZZZ! BUZZZZZZZ! Robo: Let's make like bank robbers and get the fock outta here! They run, except for Robotnik who drags the heavy bag of coins Robo: RRRRGgggH! Wait up! Police hovers pull up! Lots of police hovers, so many that they run into each other! Heavily armed cops rush out! Robo: (gets shot at) woah! (drops the bag) RUUUUN!!!! Coconuts: The moneeey! THe moneeeeeey!!! (picks up the bag and skeedaddles) They fight their way through a wall of police officers BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM Jumping over bullets, rockets and SWAT teams, they get into their beat up hoverunit and drive away! Hoverunit: *putt putt* Snivley: Let's go man! The cops are after them! They drive into traffic, causing a 234 car pile up The police are blocked by a pile of wreckage! The bad guys are getting away! Coconuts: YEEEAH!!!!!!! YEEAH! YAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!! WE MADE IT!! WEEE MAAAADDE I- They turn past a street corner but suddenly something jumps out of a mailbox! It's Secret Agent Miles Prower! Miles: Looting the dumpsters again RoboShloboRobotnik? Robo: You!!! Die you! (shoots at Miles) Miles dodges and rolls on the sidewalk, shooting back at the car with his automag! BANG BANG BANG! Robo: Run him over! Snivley: LET'S ROCK!!! Miles ducks The hover drives through a narrow alley SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEECH sparks fly and Miles is after them, guns a blazin'! Robo shoots back! He throws a grenade BLEEMO! Miles flys up to avoid the blast! Robo: GO GO gogogogogoggo!!! Snivley: Look! A chop shop up ahead! Miles: (rubs dust out of his eyes) Where'd they go In the chop shop ChopSuey: Yo lamerz, you give me 10 mobians, i fix u up good, yes? Robo: Here you go Mr. Suey....huh?? Robotnik reaches into the bag and pulls out an old bannana peel Robo: You idiots! This is the wrong bag! Coconuts: No wonder it was so light.... Robo: Now I'm going to have to pay for this out of my own pocket (gets out his wallet) and I am NOT pleased! THis is coming out of your salaries! Snivley & Coco: Awww man Miles is out on the street looking for them Robo: Here you go now make it snap-diddly-dappy ChopSuey: Yo, yougotit lamerz In 10 seconds the plates have been changed and the hover is painted bright purple with polka-dots Miles sees the hover drive out Miles: No...that can't be it. Looks like Shlobo's evaded me again. These guys who are working for him now must be professionals. #_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_# Acorn Mansion, Meeting Room 16:48 Miles parachuts out of the sky and shoots the skylight! POW POW POW KKRRRRAAAAAAASHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! The skylight shatters! Miles parachutes onto the table! Miles: Sorry I'm late, I was stopping Robo Shlobo's evil plan. Rotor: Neato! Did you stop him? Milkes: No Antoinne: you steeeeeeeeeenk Miles: (shoots at Antoinne) Antoinne: ZZZEEEEEEEYAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!! (hides under the table) Sally: (Bangs stick on table) ORDER! ORDER!!!!!! ORDEEEEEER!!!!!!! Rotor: I want chicken nuggets! Dr. Quack: QUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAACK WUAAKK KWAAAK got any duckfood? Sally: Silence! All: (quiet) Sally: Let's review what he have so far. We have decided to fight Robo Shlobo and fight him good. This was suggested to us by Uncle Chuck Chuck: (waves) huh huh hiya folks! 5 hours later Dr. Quack: (throws pencil at sonic) QUUAKK HA HA QUA QUAK!!!! Sonic: grrrrr (lunges at Quack) you'll pay for that quackface! Dr. Quack: AHHHHH!!! WUAK WUK WAAA!!! (ninjas sonic) BANG! POW! WAPPO! Geoffry: I am the coolest skunk on mobius... doo doo dee dum... Rotor: WHERE MY CHICKENNUGGETS????? Antoinne: And zaccording to my royale guard millitaroi strahtager, we sneheek into ze Death Egg and LE BOUM! bleugh it up with a beumb. Sally: Meeting is ajourned. We have accomplished nothing as usual, (sigh) Tails: (swings on a lighting fixture) woo woo! #_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_# That Night Sonic: Yo Sal, what is up wit y'ou all? You is lookin blue Sally: It's just that I can't get our freedom fighters to work together. Maybe it's just because I'm a bad leader, i don't know Sonic ...... Sonic: Sal? Sally: yes sonic? Sonic: Yo Sal I know what wad cheer you up, how about we go on IRC and have cybersex? Sally: GET OUT!!!! (throws lamp at Sonic) Sonic: (ducks) woah man! Tails: (dodges flying lamp) DANGER WILL ROBINSON!!! Dr. Quack: quak auk QUCK....ARRRRG! (lamp hits him upside the head) *XRRSH!* Dr. Quack: QUUUUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAACVCCCCCCCCKKKKK!!! (fals down the stars) Rotor: Uh oh Dr Quack hits rotor! BAM!! they roll down the staris, hitting dulcy Dulcy: DUUUUUUUHHHH i dont wanna goto school mommmyyy....aaaahhhrrrrrggg... *BUMP* *BUMP* *BUMP* (plows through a wall) *BOFF* Sonic: I think my relationship with Sal might be in trouble Tails: You think? Sonic: Yo lil bro, what do I do?? Tails: I told you, you should've talked to my uncle Trey Prower the marriage counseller back in SOnic Fights Robotnik 5 Sonic: HUH? Me and Sal are MARRIED? Tails: How should I know? Sonic: Um, I'm pretty sure we aren't. ummmm...or are we, ahhh man i'm going loco! Tails: That's nice..(leaves) Back at the SNES Tails: Now my training must begin. I will defeat Uncle Bob at SF2. Oh yes, I will defeat Uncle Bob at SF2. (rocky music plays) Tails breaks some eggs into a glass and drinks them Tails: (does karate moves) hi! ha! heya! (backflips onto a table, lands on his back) OW! Tails cracks his knuckles and picks up the controller. He turns up the difficulty to 8 stars. Ken: HA! YAH! Ryu: HEY! HAI! Chun Li: YA YA YA! Fei Long: HOOOOOOOOIIIII! Tails tapes up his thumbs Blanka: RRRG! BLAH! Tails studies the SSF2 Strategy Guide Sagat: TIGER UPPERCUT! E. Honda: OOGAH! Tails: (meditates) ooommmm..... Dhalism: (meditates) oommmm Tails: (does more karate moves) HA! YA! KEI! (kicks statue, it shatters) YAAAAAAAIIIIIIIII!!!!!! Zangeif: OOF ORT! Tails: (backflips) HAI! (lands on the table on his feet) SHOYROUKEN! M. BISON GOES DOWN!!! Tails: (runs up the stairs) YEEAH! YEEAHHHH!!! (punches air) YEAH! (jumps up and down) Tails: YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHOOOOOOOO-- Uncle Bob: SHUP THE FIOCK UP, YE! Tails: sorry! (quietly) haa hah! now I can finally defeat uncle bob (looks at the time) 6:59, 1 minute until active duty, well I'll just go to sleep now for 1 minute *KLONK* ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz.... #_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_# Earth, 1998 A.D. The wind blows a tumbleweed through the street. The city is a desolate place, in this part, of abandoned businesses. Here stands a building, with a car crashed outside, it tells the tale of a fat man and his pointy nosed sidekick who one day ended their lives here and.... Robotnik: Hey Snivaley, one-a pizza pie commin up! Snivley: I got it, i got it (raw pizza hits snivley in the head) *SPLORT* Robotnik: Ooops, there-a goes another-pizza, itsa SPICY MEATSEEBALL!! Snivley: (mutters) what a fat IDIOT Robotnik: WHAT!?!? Snivley: Er, I said.. what a fat... SNIDEOT Robotnik: Oh...well....all right then...yeah Robotnik's Pizza Parlour, 7:00 AM Robotnik: It sure was fortuneate of us to survive that car crash, and crash into this old Pizza Place, which the owner sold to us cheap, because of property damage Snivley: Sir, the early morning Pizza junkies are coming Robotnik: Oh! A HEYA HEYA MAMMA MIA! ITsa Me, Robotnik! Hippie: hey man....got any pizza man... Robotnik: yessa sir, we gotsa lotsa pizzapie! Hippie: Uh ok man...I'll have 100 large pizzas man... Robotnik: Youra order coming right up! Kitchen Robotnik: Snivley, 100 pizzas! Snivley: arrrgg.... (mutters) lazy fat Robotnik: WHAT???? Snivley: I said lzzy fght Robotnik: Well...good! Now stop yappin and get...pizza-in Robotnik turns on the TV Robotnik: Colleco-Vision time!...huh?? Snivley: Sir, we used the chips from the Colleco-Vision, in combination with parts of the pizza oven and some aluminum foil, to make 3 SWAT bots remember? Robotnik: Oh yes! The bots, that we will use to take over the world! (evil laugh) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Using this Pizza manufacturing business as cover we will slowly rebuild our army until the coup...of EARTH! HAHAHAHAHAH! Snilvey: (mutters) laughing fat... Robotnik: Did you just call me a laughing fat?!? Snivley: yes Robotnik: Oh goodie, Crossfire is on! On TV We now return to...CROSSFIRE! Bill: Hi there viewers, we were just discussing Act #582-D. Now I said to Pat, "no no, nayh nyah, you're wrong" and he said "I'm right, your notm touch blue make it true" and I said "triple black stamp, no king kong krushies" Pat: Now Bill, VETO on King Kong Krushies, and mega-monkey the triple black stamp Bill: Quadruple black stamp, triple dog dare, times twelve! Pat: Anti-dog-dare ammendmant, TRIPLE KAO-KEN ATTACK Bill: KAMAYA MAYA! Pat: Block your atatack! Bill: A million black stamps! Pat: anti-matter containment feild on the black stamp factory, mega-monkey times INFINITY! Bill: yo momma so fat... Back in the Restaurant Customers: GIVE US PIZZA! GIVE US PIZZA! Robotnik: I'll fix them (shakes up pop bottle) SHUT UP, I'M TRYING TO WATCH TV! (unscrews the cap) KABLAMOFIZZZ!!! (sprays them with hi-pressure fizz) Customers: ArrrGG! Bob: THe bubbles are up nose AHHH it stings GGAAAHhHH!! Rush Limbaugh walks in Rush: Hey hey! Rush Limbaugh needs pizza! hey hey! (rings bell for service) hey! ho! hey hey! Pizza time! Snivley: RObotnik! 1 pizza! Robotnik: Okaya kaya, here ya go, one-a pizzapie comin up, herea your freakin pizza!! (throws it like a frisbee) ZZZWWWWAAANNNNNNGG.......SKKRRRRUSHHHHSSHHH!!!!!! *thunk* Rush: ArrKKKkk GUUAAHHH!! Robotnik: (pulls pizza out of the wall) Hey Snivley, I think we need to change the recipie, this pizza crust is like a metal blade (looks down) ...... uh-oh Snivley: Oh dear....oh d-d-d-dear dear Robotnik: We decapitated a fat dude! Snivley: Are there any witnesses? Robotnik: (looks around) phew, no, they left after i sprayed them with 7up Snivley: Hmmm...where's the head? Robotnik: (looks thru pockets) ah ha! a wallet (opens wallet) let's see here.. (looks at driver's license) Rush Limbaugh...hmmm (takes credit cards) Score! C'mon snivley, we're going to Radio Shack to buy SWAT bot parts! Snivley: But sir.... Robotnik: Snivley! get in the frickin' car, the SWAT bots will clean up the mess Snivley: B-b-b-b-b Robotnik: Did you just call me...BUTT? Snivley: Butbutbut Robotnik: SO I'm the BUTT now? Snivley: bababababa Robotnik: That's better, to the pizzamobile! THey get into the rusty Buick. Meanwhile SWATbots watch TV SWAT1: DRRRRROOOOOONNNNNEEEEEEE ....PO....KE....MON Hippie: Hey man...I'm hungry man The pizzamobile drives along the sidewalk Pedestrians: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Snivley: EEEEEEEEPPPP!!!! Robotnik: (honks horn) Move it, move it! shheeesh, some people are ignorant! Radio Shack The pizzamobile drives through the entrance creating a big mess of smashed electronics Snivley: SIR, are you trying to blow our entire special effects budget or something? Robotnik: What are you talking about? Police cars smash into the entrance, one hits a ramp and flies into the store, (through a wall) landing upside down on a bunch of computers Robotnik: (browsing) RAM chips, half-price! I'll need these (steps over flaming wreckage) cool a synthesizer (plays it) *BOOP*BOOP**BEEP*THUMP*THUMP**BA*BA* *WOOF*WOOF*WOOF**MEOW**HEY*HEY**DA* Teenagle Clerk: Sir, I'm afraid you'll have to stop playing with that if you're not buying it Robotnik: Oh fiddledaddle! Here (hands him RAM chips) I'll just buy these! Clerk: Cash or charge Robotnik: Charge it...on my CREDIT CARD, which I did NOT steal from a headless guy, heh heh (evil laugh) HAHAHAHAHA Clerk: Ummm....right...Hey, you're Rush Limbaugh?? Robotnik: Yeah. whats it to ya, zitface? Clerk: WOw, Rush Limbaugh, I love your show!!! RObotnik: Show? Clerk: Your TV show! too bad it got cancelled Robotnik: TV..>..SHOW?? TV SHOW?? ALL RIGHT!!!!! Clerk: Can I have your autograph OOOMPF---- (Robotnik shoves him over and runs to Snivley, trampling the clerk) Robotnik: Snovley! Quickly, we must go to the TV station! Snivley: Huh? Robotnik: My evil plan is as follows: In this world (does quotes with his hands) "Rush Limbaugh" had a "TV" Show. We killed "Rush Limbaugh" but "Rush Limbaugh" is a fat guy, like me. So we will go to the "TV" Station and I will pose as "Rush Limbaugh" thus returning our "TV" show to the airways allowing us to take over the world! Snivley: Oh, great plan sir (mutters) incompetent fat Robotnik: (bops Snivley) bad! Snivley: arrrrg (mutters) violent fat Robotnik: (bops Snivley) bad! Snivley: Arrrrgg (mutter) fat idiot BOP Meanwhile, back at Robotnik's Pizza Parlour David Kintobor is walkin down the street singing Davey: Doo wa diddy diddy dum diddy doo! (kicks something) OW! Davey: Huh?? Rush Limbaugh's Head: Hey, watch it (rolls down the street) Davey: (chases head) what the... (picks it up) Rush: Hey man you've gotta help me! This fat guy cut my head off and stole my wallet! Davey: Wh-a-....RUSH LIMBAUGH? IS THAT YOU?!?!?? Rush: Arrrg! Davey: (runs into the pizza place and grabs a pickle jar) hold on Rush! (pushes a button on his arm and fills the jar up with water of life) come on Rush! (puts head in jar) Rush: Whew....thanks kid, i ow ya one Davey: Hey you're all rigt! Hi I'm David "Foxfire" Kintobor, your number 1 fan! Rush: You gotta help me kid. I was just sittin here waiting for my pizza when suddenly a pizza flew out of nowhere a cut my head off! Then some fat guy stole my wallet! Davey: Who was this fat guy, can you describe him? Rush: He was the owner of this restaurant I think, his picture is on the sign outside. Davey: (Rushes out side) NOOOOOO! NOOOOOOO! father.... Rush: What is it kid? Davey: This is my evil father from Earth in the distant furture. In the future it's called Mobius andhe was an evil dictator but he died! He was supposed to die, but he's not dead! He somehow managed to travel back through time to this time period! Rush: wow. WOW. Davey: We've got to stop him! Rush: Hey kid, no way. I'm just a head in a jar, I'm not fighting no evil dictators from Mobiwhatever. Count me out. Davey: You said yo owed me one Rush: D'oh! Davey: (picks up jar) let's go! FBI agent: Not so fast Kintobor! Davey: Drat! Feds! Agent: You're under arrest for selling intergalictic space weapons to a militia! (authors note: SMAK reference) Davey: Oh crap, i knew this would come back to haunt me some day Agent: PUT...THE HEAD....DOWN (aims gun) Davey: Foxfire! Transform! Light flashes around Davey. The area around him turns into a speeding anime background. Davey jumps into the air! Rush: Holy limbaugh! Davey transforms into FIGHTING FOX FORM! Theme Music: GO FOXFIRE, GO! Foxfire jumps in the air and jump kicks the agent Agent: BRAK! Foxfire: (takes out the Power Rifle) chew on this (fires) Agent: ARRG! (runs away) BLAMO!!! Half the street is ripped up Agent: AHHHH! MOMMY! Theme Music: FOXFIRE! Foxfire: Let's go! (flies away with Rush) #_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_# Robotropolis, Death Egg Ruins Robo Shlobo enters and throws the bag of garbage onto the floor Robo: Arrrrrg! idiots! Bah! Coconuts: Hey don't look at me I didn't drop the bag, fatty! everbody else: Ooooooooohhhhh Robo: You callin me fat monkey boy? Coco: YEAH Robo: yeah? Coco: YEAH Robo beats Coconuts to a pulp with a squeegee Coco: *GRRRK* javascript error 374(b) *GEEEEERRRRRHHHH* (spark) Robo: We need money and we need it fast. Where can we get enough mobians to buy back the entire area of Robotropolis Grounder and Scratch are watching TV Nachohead: HEEEY MAN!!! WANT NACHOS??????? Grounder: Huh huhuh uhuh huh yeah Nachohead: THEN COME ON DOWWWWWN TO THE NACHO BARN!!!! NEXT TO THE MOBIUS GOLD DEPOSITORY!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!! (a watermellon falls on his head) Grounder: Uhhhh....huhuhuh.... how about we like, go to the uhhhh... gold supository Robo: The gold depository.... of course! It's so obvious! (goes on the internet) www.mobiusgolddepository.com ..... HA! HAHAHAHAHA!!! Snivley: How much money have the got there Robo: HAHHA....listen to this .... one hundred ... BILLON ... Mobians! Snivley: eheheheh Coco: ah! ... pah! Robo: With that much money we can buy out all the Nice Flower factories and turn them back into Evil Robot factories! Snivley: And we could get cable! Robo: No, satellite! Coco: hahahaha Robo: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Snivley: HAHAHAHHAHAHA Packbell: NO Robo: WHAT?!? INSOLENT! Packbell: I've got passwords to Acorn Mansion and I'm breaking in! My logic circuits tell me that this Gold Depository job is too dangerous, and Sonic n' Tails will surely attack us Robo: Your 'logic' circuits??? HAHAHAHAHA! HAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAA! Your 'logic' circuits run on 5 1/2 floppy diskettes you foolish burger-brained bad excuse for a none-too-bright department store mannequin! You PACKRAD BELL! Packbell: Hey SHUT UP about my family! Robo: Lamer. I will let you go on your suicide mission since you will just fubar up our plan like you always do. Packbell: Fine! Who's with me? Robo: The stupid bots! GROUNDER! SCRATCH! FRONT AND CENTER Scratch: HEhehehHEHhehehe Grounder: Huhuuhuhuh Packbell: I HATE YOU ROBOTNIK! (runs to his room and slams the door) Robo: Anyways, as I was saying, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA #_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_# Earth, CNN TV Station Robotnik and Snivley enter Robotnik: Excuse me low-ranking foot-soldier. Where is your director of programming UglyDude: 300th floor second door on your left Robotnik: Thank you, you fungus UglyDude: fat Robotnik and Snviely charge the building!!! Robotnik: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! They get into the elevator and kick everybody off! Robotnik hits all the buttons *WHOOSH* UP DOWN UP DOWN UP DOWN UP DOWN Snivley: arrrrrrrgghh.....*URP* .... i'm going to barf sir Elevator breaks down *RRRRRRRRRRRRRCHHHHHHHHHHHHH* Robotnik: Blast! We'll have to climb the rest of the way The climb up the cable and Robotnik puts plastic explosives on the 300th floor door KAAAAAAFFFFFLAAAAAAAMMMMMOOOOO!!!! They get into a cart and drive down the hallway running over people and expensive breakable things Robotnik: (throws the water cooler through the directors glass door) BA-BA-BA-DA-BA-DA! Director: huh? Robotnik: (runs cart into his desk, breaking it in half) I am Rush Limbaugh, here to reclaim my rightful place on TV! Give me a show or I'll have you robotocized Director: whatever (calls somebody on the phone) On the set of Crossfire Bill: (airplane noises) VRRRRRRROOOOOOMMMM rtatatatata, beeewwww, I drop a million nuclear bombs BLAHABHAPA:ABABAHSHSHA!!! Pat: Bomb shelter, you missed NYAH NYAH NYAH NYAH!!! Bill: (hopping up and down) nOOo noOOOnooo noooO!!! Goons storm the studio and seize the two hosts Goon1: Your shows cancelled losers Bill: You can't do that I have a contract (shows them his contract) Goon2 rips us the contract Bill: hey.... that was my only copy Pat: Put me down! When i'm president I'll get you, i'll send you to jail for a million billion years! hey hey heye hey HEY! The goons throw Pat & Bill out the 400th floor window Bill&Pat: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! (land in dumpster) Robotnik: (to Snivley) see, the key is to make a good first impression Snivley: (shakes head) arrrg Director: (walks on the set) Ah, crossfire is cancelled we now bring you the Rush Limbaugh show Robotnik: (waves to the camera) hiya Director: Whatever In the dumpster, they watch this on Pat's portable TV Bill: Wait a minute! Isn't that the fat guy who mishandled my luggage?? Pat: And he stole my car!!! Bill: Pat! We must join forces to defeat Rush Limbaugh! Pat: Yes, we will form the ultimate anti-Limbaugh force, and we will call it "Right-Wing Avengers!" Bill: No, "Left-wing superdudes!" Pat: "RIGHT-WING FREAKIN AVENGERS" Bill attacks Pat with a broken bottle. Pat fights back with a dead rat Both: ARGRGAGRGARG!!!! POW! ZAP! BAM! Robotnik: Yes...the pieces are falling into place... HA HA HA HA HA HA #_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_# Back at the ranch (Acorn Mansion that is) Sunlight streams in through the window of Sonic's room Sonic: Zzzzz SNOOOOOREEE zzzzz *CRASH* a polo ball flies through the window and hits sonic in the head *BONK* Sonic: zfzFZfz...huh? what?? Just then Rotor jumps in through the window, riding a horse and brandishing a wooden mallet!!! *KRAAAAAASSSHHHH* Rotor: SONIC!!! Sonic: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Rotor: It's an emergency!!!! Sonic: AHHHHHHHHH! ROTOR YOU IDIOT!!! AHHH!!! (has heart attack) Rotor: The Gold Depository is under attack by Robo Shlobo and his gang!!! Sonic: urrkK!! (clutches heart) GAHh! Robor: Those chili dogs must be bad for your cholestorol The red alert sirens go off. Everyone is rushsing around, Sally is barking orders, Rotor is tryig to eat Coco Puffs, Dulcy is stepping on things, and in general, total panic and chaos caused by everybody...except Tails Tails: ZZZZZZzzzzZZZZzzZzzz Tails is left behind....ALONE TO BE CONTINUED..... #_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_# In the next episode of Sonic the Hedgehog's Ultimate Adventures The Gold Depository is under seige, but it's the Freedom Fighters to the rescue Sally: I will prove myself to the world! (a battering ram tank explodes) (Miles exchanges gunfire with Coconuts) But Tails is home alone at the Acorn Mansion while Packbell is trying to break in! Packbell: (knock knock) Hi, I'm the easter bunny, let me in and I'll give you candy! (ax falls on his head) ....OOWWWw And back on Earth, will Robotnik's new show be a hit, and will anyone be able to stop him? Bill Press: (wearing GI JOE helmet) I don't think so LAMEBAUGH #_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_# Sonic jumps out of the fanfic! Sonic: Yo dudes, read the next juicy jammin episode to find out! Past cool, way past! Look for Episode 3 on alt.fan.sonic-hedgehog and the SONIC FAN homepage #_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_#_# http://members.xoom.com/SONIC_FAN/ soniciscool@yahoo.com this has been a SONIC FAN production