From: sonicisc...@yahoo.com (SONIC FAN) Subject: NEW: TNG: Alien Attack! Date: 1998/06/27 Message-ID: X-Deja-AN: 366501236 NNTP-Posting-Date: Fri, 26 Jun 1998 23:45:31 EDT Newsgroups: alt.startrek.creative THis is my first attempt at writing startrek so enjoy! Star Trek The Next Generation Alien Attack! BY: SONIC FAN (a trekkie!) Captains Log stardate 2427.2724 We have entered the X-Blagthirian system to investigate for life forms. And I'll be damned if we don't find anything. "Attention captian we have an unnidentified ship approaching." said ensign Zerf. "Onscreen" Picard said It was a flying saucer. "It appears to be a disc shaped craft captain" data stated "Well duh" said Picard. "Hail them on all frequencies" Picard said. "Hello! This is captain picard of the USS enterprize. Who are you?" They responded "WE are from the planet BRAKO and you are invading our space! prepare to be anihilted EARTH SCUM!!" "Uh oh it's red alert time!" Picard Shouted. "Go to battle status now!" Worf hit the red button. The lights and alarms went off. WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP! "Hey! Where's Riker?" said Picard Meanwhile on the Holodeck Riker and wesley were jamming with Greenday. SUDDENLY picards head appeared out of nowhere "Riker! Stop goofing off and get your ass on the bridge! We're under attack!" Picard yelled "well looks like we'll have to cut the jam session short, let's go wesley." said Riker. They ran to the turbolift On Bridge KRRAKKKKAPOOOOWWWW!!! The enterpize was hit! Then 2 more saucers uncloaked! "Good god!" said picard "What are we going to do???" Data fired the torpedos, they hit one alien craft and blew it up. Yeahoo! said everybody Geordi called from the warp core "Captain aliens are beaming in! Hellp!!!" "Oh no c'mon RIker we're being invaded." They grabbed their laser rifles and jumped into the turbolift. WARP CORE Captain Picrd looked around. Aliens were everywhere. They opened fire but thealiens responded with missle launchers! One alien had a gun to Geordi's head. "Move and he dies!" said the alien Captain Picard snuck up behind the alien and kicked it in the head! BOOMSHAKALAKA! Riker blased a few more aliens into goop. Then Picard was surrounded. Riker shot the aliens and they died! BRIDGE "Well we took care of those bastards but what the hell??" Picard said Five more ships were attacking the enterprise. "Data get us out of here! WARP 10!" picard boomed "but sir warp 10 is not safe..." Data advised "Shut up and warp us you bucket of bolts!" Picard replied Data sent the ship to warp 10 and Picard was thrown to the back of the bridge. "WooooAAAHHH!!!" he said "ARRRRRRGGGG!!!" Picard said as he was plastered to the wall "Captain we have a planet off the starboard bow!" data said "STTTOOOOPPP!!!!" said picard Data stopped the ship in a sudden stop. "YAAARRRRGG!!" said picard as he was thrown head first into the captain's chair. "WHere are we" said Picard "Unknown" said data "We are 100000 light years away from our objective point" "Hmmm" said Riker "We must have hit a warp zone!" "Perhaps the inhabitants of the planet know how to get back to federation space" Troi said "Well it's risky but it's our only hope" Picard said "Let's get an away team together" So they got an away team together and went to the transporter room "Picard, RIker, Geordi and Troi, ready to beam down?" said the transporter guy. "Make it so" said Picard They beam down to the planets surface PLANET BRUFGHT "Ok Troi and Geordi go to that building over there Riker and I will go to this building" Picard said "Gotcha" said geordi "Let's go!" Armed with laser rifles they went in their respective directions Picard and Riker walked into a large building with lots of aliens. "Activate Holodiguise" said picard They activated the devices so they lookes like aliens IN AN ALIEN BAR Troi and gerdio dsguised as aliens sit at the bar stools. An alien is wearing a commander's outfit. "Hmmm looks like an alien commander" said Troi "I have a plan" "Excuse me, where is the main base" she said "Hey baby." The alien said "I know where the base is" "I will have sex with you if you tell me where it is" she said "Hubba hubba" the alien said "It's at coordinates 1332x3748 can we have sex now" "No" troi said "You're mean" said the alien "Yeah" said Geordi "You're mean" "Bite me visorhead" she replied ALIEN MALL Troi transmitted the coordinates to Picard but an alien security guard heard them "Hey those are the coordintes for the main base! Sound the alarm!" ATTENTION ALLL CUSTOMERS WE HAVE RED ALERT REMAIN COLM HUMAN INVASION I REPEAT HUMAN INVASION!!!!!!!!!! The alien zapped Riker with a phaser and his disguise came off! Picard and riker made a run for it! They ran down the escalator trampling and shooting aliens. The aliens guards chasing them did the same thing. Riker killed several of the alien guards but more were after them. Picard jumped through a store window to avoid laser fire. Then he came out of the store riding a hover jet ski. "Jump on Riker" picard said Riker jumped on the back of the hover jet ski and they flew through the mall killing aliens then they crashed and rolled into the bathroom the aliens quickly followed. Picard and Riker hid in teh alien toilet stalls. the aliens marched in but Riker had an idea. He took out a hypro-grenade and put it on the high-tech toilet. It blew up flooding the bathroom. The aliens slipped on the water and Picard and Riker escaped out the front doors into the parking lot. They got into a security vehicle. Picard hotwired it using a tricorder and they were going down an alien highway but the alien police were after them now. They drove to the base blasting alien cars in the way. They made a sharp turncasing all the police to skid off the road and fall a million feet and hit the ground BOOM BOOM BOOM SHBOW the hovervehicles blow up! ALIEN BASE They drive the hover attack car through the fence and get out. But they are surrounded by aliens with plasma launchers. "We are trapped" said Picard ALIEN BAR Meanwhile Troi and Geordi are involved in a alien bar fight. They escape out the window while the aliens blow eachothr up. They jump in a hovercar and drive to the base. ALIEN BASE "So Captain Picard soon i will destroy your human race" said the alien leader "These ships are armed with doomsday rays which will destroy the planet earth, and then the federation!" "But alas you will not see it because you are in this stasis feild in teh ship's engine, well bye HA HA HA HA!" the alien said "Lkaunching ships in 10 minutes" came the voice from the control tower. BUT JUST THEN a hover car drives up to the base. Geordi and Troi jump out guns a-blazin' they fight the aliens. The leader and his crew go to see what's going on. Riker uses a hybogrenade to escape the stasis feild! They kill a bunch of aliens! Riker goes into a base building and finds the warp zone control. He sets the control to FEDeration space! Picard picks up a metal bar and slams an alien with it KA-POK! the aliens head comes off! Picard throws it at another alien *SPLAT* But then a bunch of aliens with BFG 9000's are attacking the starfleet personalle. "RRUUUUUNNN!!!!" Picard says. They run and jump over the fence. Picard contacts the enterprize. "Attention fire at coordinates 1213x2321!!!!" ENTERPRIZE *fires torpedose at planet* ALIEN BASE BABABABABBAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!! The base explodes and picard and the gang escape just in time! "Beam us up" Picard says ENTERPRIZE "We stopped the aliens but the might attack again!" said Picard "We have to stop them" "Captain" said Data "There is a large ship-sized tunnel in the mine where the aliens mine crystals from the planet's core. Perhaps we could blow up the core" "Make it so" says Picard. Data flys the ship straight down to the planet! It enters the tunnel! VRRRROOOOOOMMM!!!!!!! "We have to steer fast or we're goners!" exxclaims RIker!" Data you steer the ship because youre an android!" "Affrimative" says Data "Androis are more presise than humans in most cases" data says "SHUTUP AND WATCH WHERE WE'RE GOING DATA!!!" picard yels. The enterprize has to turn quickly to make the sharp turns. Then a huge guard robot is blocking the tunnel. The eneterprize blows it up but EARTHQUAKE! the tunnel is collapsing behind them!!! "I hope there's another way out!" says Picard The ship is going through a huge cavern but a sclactite scrapes the saucer section SCCCRRRAKKKKAKAAAABALAmALMAMMMM!!!!! "Oh crap i will have to get that re painted" says Picard The enterprize is near the core of the planet it fires 10 torpedos THE CORE IS UNSTABNLE lava flows out the enterprize goes thorugh another tunnel data quickly navigating they almost hit a wall! but the tunnel is blocked the fire the lasesrs and in trhe aliens city the huge starship comes crashing up from the middle of an alien suburb!!! KRAK VRRRRBAAAANNNNNNNGGGGGGGG!!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!! The planet explodes and the enterprize crew give hi- 5's. "We have to get to the warp zone NOW!" says wesley "Engage!!!!!" says Pricad. WOOOOOOSH! They enter the warp zone It's all colors but data soon says "Captain! I have lost control of the speed! We are going warp 9....10!......11!!....12!......13....14......WARP 24!!!!" The sudden speed makes the crew go flying "WAAAAUUUGHHHHH" goes picard as he is thrown to the back of the bridge and smashes though a wall. He hangs onto a peice of metal and says "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" The crew is plastered to the walls and data says "Ca-ca- ca-caaaptain we are on a collision couse with DEEP space NINE!!!!!" "YYYAAAAHHHHHH!!! DATA!!! STOP THE SHIP!!!! STOOOOOP THE SHIIIIIIIIPPP!!!!!" picard scremed. With much superdroid effort data manages to push the stop button on his panel SCCCCCRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH H!!!! The ship stops 2 inches from deep space 9. Captain picard goes flying to the front of the bridge "DDAAAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!" he splats against the viewscreen and slides down. *thump* "Hello this is deep space nine what are you doing picard" "Oh just saving the universe as usual" he says. They all laugh. Captain's log stardate 2427.2725 We are having a party on deep space nine i just won 10 credits at quarks slot machines now it's time to get drunk! as shakespeare once said "ye ale is good!" END