====AUTHORS NOTES (revision 2)===== THE WAIT IS FINALLY OVER!! Yo yo readers. Welcome to the long awaited HD remake/reimagining of Sonic Fights Robotnik 7. Why are the notes version 2? In the original I was talking about problem with the original Sonic FIghts Robotnik 7, and I said it was too long. But when I was done writing this new story it was LONGER THAN LORD OF THE RINGS!!!! (erf!). So like the JR Tolken story this fanfic is in multiple parts. The reson for this remake is, Sonic Fights Robotnik 1-6 are just really great, well-written, classic, fanfictions. Sonic FIghts Robotnik 8 & 9, 10 years laters, are really good too! But SF7 is..just "okay" I think. Too many crossovers and jokes but not enough character development and world building like the other SFR stories have. Also I wasn't happy with the David Kintobor characters portrayel in the old SFR7. So here I tried to be more tru to David Gonterman's vision and make a way past cool sort-of sequel to Blood & Metal. This is a jam past cool epic tale that will connect all the SFR stories together and bridge the gap between part 6 and part 8 better (Shadowfox series has been retconneced to the GARBAGE). I proudly present the new Sonic Fights Robotnik VII, one of the greatest Sonic stories ever written, ANYWHERE. BUt firts, the LEGAL STUFF! (its short because of the HUUUGE authors notes) LEGAL STUFF====== Relax SEGA i'm not Ken Penders ======LEGAL STUFF OVER [November 8, 2016 AD] SOnIC FAN presents.... (The New) SONIC FIGHTS ROBOTNIK VII Chaos & Emeralds by Sonic Fan ------------- Chapter 1 Mobius explodes and everybody on the planet dies!! THE END! Woah that's the shortest story ever written! ------ Chapter 2 TIME PORTAL Silver the future hedgehog was flying backwards in time! "WOOOAHHHH" he yelled Mobius explosed in reverse because of Silvers time travel powers. Back at the crystal mine the final battler for Mobius is taking place!! BOOM BOOMITY BOOM M POOWWW RRET' A massive explosive and exciting battle is going on in te background. Silver walks past all the fights and goes to the audio control center. He puts "Dreams of an Absolution" on the stereo. All the furrys and robots look confused as they hear "MUSIC FROM THE FUTURE?!?" tails said! Then wendt back to fighting. So the big battle from Sonic Fights Robotnik 6 happened and Sonic beat Robotnik (good). Then he throws the Chaos Emeralds in the air they make a cirtcle and everybody gets derobotzocised, yaaay. Oh and yes Robotnik shoots the master chaos emeral and summons.... CHAOS!!! "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!!"" Robotnik laughed, evilly "Not so fast puddle-head" said Silver to Chaos "go back in your emerald you WATER" "GRRRRR bullble!" glorgeled Chaos. Silver does an attack ccalled FLUX CAPACITATOR SPINDASH!! Hits chaos and he spashes around but reforms and does a tenticle whipe in Silvers face! "ow my NOSE!!!!!" yells Silva "Hmm I have to stop him from turning in the dragon form and eating the planets core!" thought Silver the hedgehog Silver flies into space and into the sun and then cathces on fire and uses the suns power to turn into a comet then he rams into Chaos at 100000000000 MPH!!!! Chaso turns into a bubble and trapes Silver inside! Its full of water and now Silver will drown to death!!! But Silver (little did they know) only has to breathe once everey 100 years, most of the time he only does it for fun. "He he" said Sivler Silver did a move where he freezes himself into an ice cube. Chaos got frozen too, they smack into the ground at 5555555 light years per second and shatter into a bazillion fragments of dust. The dust blows into space and goes int a black hole.. Sonic was the only one who could see it because his eye is too fast for the naked eye and that all happened in one one billionth of one second. Sonic said "cool dude!" But sonic didnt know what was going on he thoiught it was 2 random guys fighting in the big battle. "Robotnik is dead everybody!! WE wong !! WAAAAAY PAST COOOOL!!!!" said SoNIC. Everybody cheesed "yaay woohooo clap clap hooray for sonic !" "WAY POAST COOL MON" interjected Knuckles. ------ [Time periord: ????] Silver regenerated into himself after going through an out of control temporal fluxiccion. He was in some city. "Huh...the St. Louis arch. I am in St. Lous in the year..*checks phone* 1995 AD?" He's on top of a building a nd nearby a bunch of people are yelling and stuff. On the ground he sees... David Gonterman and his mouse friend Johnny Briz. "Doo doo doo go go power rangers!" sang Dave (note: at this time he was still in the Power Rangers) Johnny Briz says " Uh ohh! I dont think we should have come this way theres a riot!" David Gonterman said "hmm your right its some kind of racial riot, i will call the Zords for help" He pulls out a power rangers walkie talkie. When suddenly!! "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE VARMIT!!!" *click* went the gun which was held by... "Is that... oh its my afrocentrist history teacher. Yo what up teach!" saud Gonterman The (black) lady pointed the shotgun at Davey-kins head "Yall stay back from me yahear!! No good slave owning cracker!! i aint going to back to yer cotton factory!!!" "UH hey miss teacher I'm part of a multiracial and diverse organization called the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Zordon doesn't allow racists to join" said David Silver watching this sees time ripples around the tearcher lady. "Chrono destalification detected? What's happening?" said Silver (to himself) "Y'all gonna take me your estate and free the slaves!" she said davey-Kins replied " M'am I am on welfare. So I dont' own an estate or any slaves but would Y'ALL KINDLY QUIT BLAMIN ME FOR THE SINS OF THE FATHERS?!?!" *doo doo doo dee do do* (power rangers theme) Davey's pager went off He reaches for it... and.. BOOMSHAKALAKABOOM!!! The woman blows up David Gontermans arm with her SHOT GUN!!! "OWWWWWWW!!!!" yelelde Gonterman "OWWWWWW PHRAaAAAAACKK!!! MUH ARM!!!" She runs away and disappears! Johnny Briz runs voer to David. "Noooo!!! Davey!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!: he screames as the cameraman zooms out ---------- Whoosh! ---- Another time warp takes us back to present day Knothole Village... Night time, a few wekks after the final Robotnik battle Tails Hut Sally is reading tails a bedtime story. This scene is super-cute. The books is Altered Destiny by Keith Aksland. Tails is hyped for this bok because its the origin story of Chris Pettruciii. Brief summary: Keith Askland is a human that is teleported to mobius and gets in fights with robotnik but then turns into a raccoon (Chris Petrucci!) for some reason? he gets a wristwatch computer and he use it to play music and he signs songs. They have a funeral for his former self, Keith and he sings Megadeth and everybody is sad. sally was reading "Oh..um this next part is a song" Tails" so we have to go to furry youtube and listen to it?" hje asked Sally said "this is a very old book from 1996 so there's no youtube link. He just wrote the lyrics and that everybody heard the song and cried and was sad" Tails was like "Okay Sally so that means you need to sing it!" hee hee'd Tails. "Tails I don't know Liftin Shadows off a Dream by Dream Theater " she said, sighed "But SALEEEEE you have too!!!!" tails WHINED. Out of nowhere they heard the sweet pluckings of a meloudious guitar/ Then somebody climbed in though the window. Why it's Chris Petrucci of course! "YOu called for a bard m'princess?" he said Then he sang Lifting Shadows off a Dream by Dream theater. Bookshire was there too he wept at the sadness of the song. *SNIFF* (bookshite said) Tails said "Cool man! This story really happened?" "The storeis, they're true. All of it.." said Chris Chris also said "My favorite part was the "secret freddom fighter interview"" "Oh that was fun" blushed Sally "wink" SONIC SPINDASHES IN THROUGH A GLASS WINDOW WITH A GUITAR!!!! "Kept you waiting huh?" said Sonic Jackery prower brings in a drum set and Bunnie plays the spoons. Chris Petrucci joins in with the wristwatch! THey played a new song wirtten by Sonic! Sonic sang: ~ Hes a blue rocket running fast!! Peanut butter and jam Kickin ass fast! Killin bots die Robotnik fat ass!! IN MY WORLD! (my world!) No compromises exists In my world! I'm a open book! yeah! Intergatlatcic hedgehog beat bot butts mach a billion my speed is isn't slow something countdown from 10 it's about to BLOW!!!! MY WORRRLLDD!! ~ Bookshire headbanged Chris petrruci: [WRISTWATCH SOLO!!!!!!] Sally yeleld "No be quiter Tails is going to sleep now!!" BUt the band was using Tails bed for a stage. the rest of Knothole Vilage came to party and they smashed stuff ans threw cans. Amy Rose was there too she threw her bra at the stage but we don't see anything because the cameraman was filing from behind. the concert went until 4 am then Sonic went to sleep ------- Sonics weird dream! Sonic was in a black dark area. Then he heard the voice! "SOOONIC" creaked the Oracle "YOur back?" said Sonic "SONIC! You must go into...." he croaked A door lit up "The room of TERRIBLE SECRETS!: said the Oracle "No way man! This is mondo spooky! Why would I go in there? At least try to trick me and say it's yiffy vixens or something" said Sonic The oracle kicks him "But thou must!" Sonic WOOAH! ARRRGH! he flies in the room ----- The dark room in Sonic's dream A spotlight turns on in the middle of the room. A dog kid is there. Sonic erfs "Hey..that's Furry Butters from Furry South Park! This isn't spooky. Ha ha!" Furry Butters: (sings) Loo loo loo! I've got some apples! Loo loo loo! The apples are blue! Furry Butters: Blue apples? Heck ain't that the darndest thing I ever saw Sonic thinks "blue apples?" He sees the vision of past events... Rotor was holding a blue apple Rotor: Sonic! Sonic sees: a blue apple? Rotor: I have genetically engineered this apple to be blue Rotor: genetically engineered... (zooms in really close to the apple) Rotor: this apple Rotor: BLUE! Furry Butters: Loo loo loo! Sonic "The apples?? What does it mean??" Rotor: genetically engineered!!! Rotor: BLUE APPLE!!!! BLUE APPLE!!!! Rotor falls down "OOOOOOOF!!!!" Sonic : AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! -------- Sonic's bed Sonic wakes up! Sonic "AUUGHH!!" Then he said "whew" Sonic said "oog waht was that? a gay dream about Rotor? I feel mondo confused now" ---- Teh next day Sonic's house Sonic and Tails are watching Furry South Park Tails said "Sonic I thought you said hyou don't want to watch this show anymore" Sonic reply: Yeah i was just scared by the mega weird dream i had with rotor in it [On TV] Furry Mr. Slave: Jesus Christ! Tails says "Hahaha he sounds like Rotor" JUST THEN ROTOR DOES RAIDEN TORPEDO THROUGH THE DOOR OF THE HUT!!! "hayablalablaaay!!!" Sonic says "What up Rote!" Rotor yells "OK now hold on just a darn miniute!" Rotor madly said "I've heard enough of this rotor is gay talk okay! That was a rumor started by the evil Ken Penders. If you read the SatAM bible you can clearly see it says Boomer (me) gets hiccups around girls because I'm NOT GAY. And I've also got my SatAM DVD set here, with the really bad "professional" cover art by ken penders that looks worse than all the amateru fanart on the discs. And so in that Robecca episode I made a SEX ROBOT because I'm a lonely STRAIGHT MAN!! But Ken Penders has never obviously watched an episode! FOCK YOU KEN PENDERS!! ROUGE'S BOOBS ARE SUPER HOT!!! JESUS CHRIST!!!" "uh ok" said Sonic. They go outside On this midday summer day the animals around Knothole are doing stuff they do on a peaceful day. Some are building sheds, and otheres were throwing the football around, the gunsmith sells hotdogs now because the war is over. Bunnie was swimming aroung in the power ring pond. "Well peel mah potaters" she says "Swimmin shore is fun now that ah don't sink to th' bottom of the pond" (Bunnie doesn't have robot parts anymore) Rotor screams "NICE BIKINNI BUNNY!!! YOU HAVE A HOT ASS!! WOWW!!!!! HUBBA HUBABA!" Bunnie says "Thank y'all kindly Rotor, y'always do give the best fashion advice!" Rotor: GOD DAMMIT!@!!!! But that was when an army of robots atacked?! -------------- 1 SWAT missle is not nromally a problem, but 75 million fired at the same time, can be. That was what with Sonic and friends were dealing with long with 25 trillion SWAT bots, a herd of ELEPHANT bots and a pair of twin roboticized Elder Dragons. Sonic ran around killing bots! FORK!! SNORK!! HAZOO!! Rotor hacks the messels to fire at the elephants Tails jumps in the freedom fighter plane and dogfights the dragons! ZOOMM RATATATATA MISSLE LOCK!! FOX 2 !!! SKEEEBOOMM!!! The battle was exciting but scary as lots of furrys in the village were getting killed and their homes burned. Sonic had fun though Ducly ran into a flagpole "DUUUHHHH me no wanna do homework MA MA!!" In the middle of the battle Geoffry St John walks in and flexes. "Never fear, The Geoff is here! Take a look at this hard body, nerds. Not for you rotor. It's only for my woman, Princess Sally Alicia Acorn. Stand back as the most badass dude on Mobius saves tghe day!" says Geoff Rotor pulls out his replica Lancer from Furry Gears of War and chainsaws Geoffrey in half!! BZZZRRRKKKK SPPPLORRCH BUZZZZ!! Rotor: Nothin but BITZ! Then Rotor says "Oh my god! I killed Geoffrey!" "You bastard!" said Tails They laugh "That was great, we haven't done that in a while" said Tails "To cool too cool" said Sonic Sonic went bck to fighting FRAG! BOSH! SMURF! RIZZLE!!! SONIC! Sonic! Sonic.... SOOONNIICICCC!!!! "WHAT??" said Sonic Tails and Rotor were yelling "Put on the cybersuit dummy!!" said Tails "Oh right" said SOnic Sonic put on the ULTIMATE CYBERSUIT He does MAXIMUM OVERLOAD HADOUKEN!!! All the bots die in 0.4 seconds. "Hmm not bad " sais Sonic Antoine cried 'OW can zees be happeneeng!! Non! Ze Docteur Robotneek ees le morte!!! Oui oui sacre bleu !" "Yeah " agreed Sonic "We killed Robotnik in the final battle. This must be a new bad guy,..." -------- Knothole's secret meeting room 5:56 pm Eastern Furry Time They sat around the big table and discussed the plan "I motion for no more jokes about Rotor being gay" said, really who else would say that, ROTOR!! Sonic: Okay Rote you're straight now Rotor: good Sally said "The robot forces were destroyed by Sonic's cybersuit attack" Sonic: Slick tricks from the rude blue dude with the tude thank you thank you very much uh-huh" Sally then said "But tragically there were many furry casualties including top agent from His Acorn's Secret Service Geoffrey St. john" Tails fakely said "yeah those robot dudes have chainsaw guns now!" Rotor said "Oohhh nooo!" Sonic adds "I'm mondo sad! Boooo-hooooo!" All: *SNICKER* Sally "You guys....he was cut in half while alive" Uncle Chuck pipes in "AIN'T THAT A BITCH!" Sonic: ladies and gentlefurs, Unnnclee Chuuuuuccckk!! The furrys clap and cheer (authors note: uncle chuck was derpoticized like everybody else in the world) Bunnie hoppily says "Mah oh mah i do declare i aughts to take a second look at that mayun. Mmm-hmm i has a thang for old fellers who used to be robots" Uncle Chuck grinned "I can still do the yiffy in a jiffy! YEE-HAW!" Bunnies eyes turned into hearts "OH MAH STARS..." Antoinne ahems "AHEM!!! Pleese can we just to be teerning on le TAY-VAY and sees ze new badneek broadcasteeing who eet eeees?" Tails turns on the TV. [On TV] Mysterious Man: Coming at you live from Snivleytropolis it's SNIVELY!! The new badnik in town! Snively: hahahaha! Thanks for destroying my robots Freedom Flubbers, but I will only build more AHAHAHAHAHA!!! Snivelys: I am taking over for Dr Robnotnik but I am even more evil mwahahaha! Red Eyes in the background: Grr! Sonic: *kicks a hole thru Snivleys head on the TV* No change Needlenose! Moose n' Juice time! Freedom Fighters: LETS DO IT TO IT Everybody: woohoo ------------ ACT II The Snivley Wars Over the next 6-7 the freedom fighters had many adventure fighting Snivbley. Rotor built a giant water balloon launching blimp to drop water balloons on te buzz bomber army and destroyed the Queen Buzz Bomber Bee by crashing the blimp into it. An epic battle trok place at Dragönnest (Dulcy's home). Sniveley roboticized an army of Dragons' but tails used the plane and Ducly finally got her powers and killed em all with nuke breah! At The Battle of Big Tree sonic helped hte wolfpac tribe defend their sacred land with the Cybersuite. Billions of bots attacked but SOnic killed them eastly, Lupe and wolfpac help with spears and laser guns. Finally the last battle took place on the Death Egg. Sniveley built a real Death Egg (in space!). The freedom fighters modified the freedom fightrer plane to go into space! Many robots attacked from hot air balloons but Dulcy helped now because her powers are real good. Sonic had to fight 200 billion SWAT bots and the BIG BOSS MACHINE BOT. Next Metal Sonic fought sonic, sonic just ripped his head off with the cybersuit and killed him with a lazer! Snively had a GIANT CYBERSUIT! "Hah aha ha!" giggled Snivley "I have a cybersuit!" They fought and Sonic blew up Snivleys cybersuit. "Chow baby" cooly said Sonic as he jumped off the exploding death egg. "NooooO!" creid Snivley "Hey !! Snivley!!" yelled the voice from a dimensional powrtal It was....IXIS NAGUS? (authose note: Nagus was helping Snivley take over but he wanted him to get the EVIL GEM so Nagus can escape the Void where he is trapped) At this point sonic safely landed on the wing of the plane Tails was flying. "Yeah Sonic!!" ------- Back on the Death Eff Nagus demanded "Snivley, use the Evil gem!!! i can help you escape!" Snivley whined "Waaah. Oh no but i have to" (authors note: Snivley had the gem but he wanted to use it for his own evil plance and keep nagus trapped in the void) Snivley threw the gem into the Void Nagus grabs it and! WEEEBBUUUUU! ZAPO! Evereybody is teleporterd less than 1 millinanosecond before the death egg explodes with a WHOOOOOOMMPPP!!! Back on Earth I mean Mobius Snivley sees NAGUS'S RED EYES in his facE!!!! "GRRR " said nagus "Oh hellpo there Naugs! Hehe Nauggy boy i was going to free you from the void a long time ago oh uh oh dear but uh there was a problem with the portal machine and...." said Snivley "OOoooh what shall we do with you now oooooh!" said Nagus From behind him a CHUBBY FAT MAN said "HA HA HA.....I'M BAAAAAAACK!" Snivley throws a flashbang gernade and runs away!! "Nagus" said "GRR WHERE GOES LITTLE MAN COMES BACK HERE YOU !!!" ---------- ACT III Wizard and The Emeralds Knothole VIlong The furrys all sat arount the campfire and roaster mashmallows and drank freedom fighter lemondae and the usual stuff. Your typical victory celebration scene. Chris Petrruci got up on a tree stump and said "and a 1 and a 2 and..." Then he sang the song of the Second Death Egg Battle ~ The mission was dark But Sonic was smart The bots did shoot But Sonic had the cybersuit So did snivley Sonic beat him goodly Then he jammed past cool Snivley looked a fool Then he died in outer spaaaace!! ~ An arrow flew right in Chris Petrruccis mouth! "URRK GURRK!" coughed Chis. He spit out the arrow There was a note attached to it. "Mondo strange" questioned sonic "we should check it out" The note says: HA HA! HO HO! My name is Ixis Naugus - wizard king of mobius! You must bow down to me! I demand you bring me your Princess Sally because if you do not I will kill KING ACORN!! MWA HA HA HA! A ubs drive was taped to the note Sally plays it in her computer (Nicole) KING ACORN?! hologram appeared Acorn: Hello sally, "Bean" please help me! Sally crie tears "daddy!" Sonic "no way it's a mondo trap sal. Sally said "your right but we have to go save my father!" ----- THE CASTLE OF ILLUSION A dark castle with lighting bolts wa s in hte forbidden mountain zone. Inside, 2 evil schemers were plotting the next move! "ahh yess soon i shall be the god of all furrys again! wee hee hee!" chortles Nagus. "Very good....urrghhhh......SIR" said Robotnik "Yess robotnik and when they come attack them with your robots you will! as per our original agreement!! or I will turn you into a carrot again!" said nagus. (backgroun information: Nagus was betrayed by Robotnik earlier in the SATAM timeline. When robotnik "died" he actually wen to the void and escaped with naugus. now he is nauguses assistant.) "Now we wait" hmmd Nagus "ha ha ha!" King Acord was hanging from the celing in a cage "Get me outta hewre!" he yelled "No!" said Nagus "but i will entertain you with some jamming!" Nagus told Robotnik "okay you like this yes? let us do the jamming!" Nagus uses his wizard powers to make some medival instuments play a 1000 year old wizard song. He does a stupid little dance and sings "laddy doo ladde dee la la dee day doo da!" Robotnik gumbled "i've got to get snivley back" *facepalm* ---------- FORBIDDEN MOUNTAIN ZONE So Sonic and frends travel across the dangeours Zone, there was much hardship and they almost died a few times but 8 weeks later they get to the castle. And yes, it's THAT Castle of Illusion so the Knothole FF's battled the tree stump guy, Jack in the Box and the Cookie Dragon (Dulcy ate it) "Burp" said Dulcy But then robots attacked which they were not expecticking". Fortunately Sonic brough the Sybersuit and in an amazing battle the robots were turned into metal mush by his supernova laser cannon and other cber weapons. "who made these robots? " wondered Rotor In the final room they see Nagus, the King and "DOCTOR RO-BUTTNIK!" screamed Sonic "You're alive?!?" "Hahahah yes" blubbered the fat Doctor. Sonic thought this battel would be a piece o cake. But it wasn't Nagus magic poweres were too strong even for Cybersonic. They were forced to run away!? When they get out side everybody was still there but.... TAILS IS MISSING!??! "NOOOOOOOOO!" yelped Sonic. They can't go back in the castle because nagus put it in a magic bubble. --------- Knothole Village Soni said "Tails oh my gosh nooo tails!!" Sonikc was very emotional about this "There there sonic said" Sallt Uncle Chuck said "Lets just come up with a plan" "Yeah" wimpered Sonic "we just need,..the ol' plan" But Sonic was really scared secretly he doesnt want the freedom fighters to see. "knock knock" went the door. Who's there? The door opened it was.. "Uh...h-hey guys how's it going" said... "SNIVELEY!?!?" shouteed everebody at the same time Sniveley brought his army of robots too "FOCK YOU SNIV i'm gonna JUICE TIME WITH LIME on your stupid BUTT!!!" arrghed Sonic. "Ahh wait wait lets not be hasty " said Snively. He handed the remote control to Sally. "I want to join the freedom fighters!" said Sniveley "Why should we TRUST YOU!!!?" yelled Sally right in his face! "Ooooh dear I had to get away from Naugus and Robotnik. I can help you fight them and you can use the robots I stole from Robotnik" said Sniveley Antoinne scoffed "last time ee' bring le robots zey ees almost destory le village de Knot'ole! oui oui." "Antoines right" said Rotor "This guy is a real bad news bear" Sally used the remote controls to make the robots bow and say "HAIL ACORNS!" "hmm Sonic a robot army could be useful. And these robots weren't always evil" said Sally "Yeah sal" said Sonic "I remember that from Blast from the Past part 1 & 2" "Sonic..." nudged Rotor "Oh I mean... when we got the timestones and went back in time to stop Robotnik! (thanks for the save rote!)" said Sonic "ok Snively you can be a Freedom Fighter but...." Sally said "you must pass the secret freedom fighter interview" "Ahh...no that's er okay I shouldn't do that because um....I am a human!" eeked Snively. "Well fine then" said Sally "Our newest freedom fighter Snively!" "Yaa woo hoo " wne the crowd. They clapped a bit unenthusiastically (they're not 100% sure on this Snively idea). "Secret internview?" inquired SOnic "I never got to do that!" Sally said "Well...uhh" JUST THEN DULCY TRIPPED ON AN ORANGE AND WENT "wooooAAAHH" and crashed into some pots and pans *CLANG BANG* and babbled "DUHHHH huh MOMMY no time for me get up go school me want sleepy DUUHHHH" "Whew" though Sally "that flying Barney comes in handy sometimes." --------- THE CAMPFIRE The freedom fighters were all hanging out with the new member Snivley. "Yo Snive" asked Sonic "Why are you and Dr. butt-boy-nik so evil?" "Well answered Snively "You see Sonic it's a long story but we didn't come from this planet!" said Snively (if you believe him). "Huh?" Sonic chirped "We were on a colony in another planet in space. But there was a war with the furries. The furries wanted to kill all the humands and...." Sniveley explained "we had to escape the plant becasue the furries were going to kill us. We got in the spaceship and crash landed on Planet Mobius! But then...the entire planet was furries!" "Yeah" said SOnic "Robotnik hated furries. He told me the furries would kill us unless we took over the planet. So we did. But...he doesn't want to just reboticize all furries,, he wants them to die!!" said Snivley "Why would you come to another planet to kill everybody" said Rotor "Robotnik is crazy! I think Dr. Chucks robotocizer might have saved the furries from being killed! Robotniks ultimate plan was to make a race of AI robots to take over the planet" said Snivley "Really?" sonci added "Is this the whole story Snivley it sounds like stuff is missing?" "No thats all the important stuff" said Snively "a heh..heh..erp" "Thats cool long stories piss me off" Sonic said "anyways how to we beat Naugus" "Naugus...he knows about THE CHAOS EMERALDS!" snivley revealed "The CHAOS EMERALDS?!?" sonic spaty "But those disapperead at the end of the crystal mine battle!" "Not quite" relplied Sniv "a hyper sonic reaction sent them to the Chaos dimension. But nagus was helping me locate them. I made a list search "Chaos Emeralds" on Furry Google Maps" "However" he warned "the locationas are only approximate and it will take some searching" "YOOO!" Knuckles jumped out of a tree "HEY MON DID SOMEBODY SAY SEARCH FOR EMERALDS! THATS MY FAVORITE THING TO DO MAN!!" "Holy crap Knuckles turn down your volume" sonic complained "Hows dis mon?" Knuckles normally said "Lets find dose emeralds" --------- THE CHAOS EMERALD ADVENTURE! RED EMERALD One day sonic ran past a pole but it opened a portal to the chaos dimension. There were weird blocks and diamonds and the whole stage rotated but sonic got the emerald easily enough. BLUE EMERALD The FF's came to a house that said TANKBOT on the mailbox. "uh oh oh no oh no oh no!" said Rotor "I've got a bad feeling about this " cowered Snively. Sonic knocks on the door wearing the cybersuit in case of trouble. TANKbot opens the door. "HI THERE" said TANKbot "Yo robo-head! Hand over the emerald!" Sonic threatened. "I DONT WANT ANY TROUBLE" droned TANKbot "IM RETRIED" "WHAAAT?!" sonic spewed "no way robts never retire from being evil!?" "Hmm perhaps this is the AI robotnik was talking about " theorized Snively. So Sonic and friend went in the house and inside was Mrs Tankbot and Baby Tankbot "HELLO THERE!" said Mrs Tankbot "I MADE METAL COOKIES WANT SOME?" "oh no we couldn't digest metal" smiled Sally "We wanted to know if we could borrow your chaos emerald" "I DONT KNOW" droned TANKbot "It's very important" said Snively "OH PLEASE TANKY THIS IS OUR GOOD FRIEND SNIVELY FROM ROBOTROPOLIS" said Mrs TANKbot "OH OKAY" TAANKBot droned "ITS IN THIS ROOM HERE" They all go in a room "A ROOM.....OF DEATH!!!" said TANKBOT "HA HA HA WE TRICK YOU HA HA!" laughed Mrs TANKBOT The tankbots attack with flame throwers and grenade launchers. "Like I always say, robots never retire from being evil!" said Sonic Sonic punched tankbot in the head! Mrs tankbot throws flaming cookie blades and Sally she backflips and cuts off her (tankbot's) arms with a laser katana! Bunnie punches tankbot "OH MAH STARS aw dayum ah ain't got a robot arm anymore shucks ah plum forgot aw heck" her arm was store "Mon cheri Bunnie i say oui oui antoine weel save tu" heroically spoke Antoine. Antoine threw cards at the bots, he was trying to be Gambit I guess (this idea was taken from a David Gonterman story) Sonic hugged the freedom fighters! "Awww!" said Sally Sonic did PROTECTIVE PHTONO SHIELD! Snivley called in an airstike with the ion cannon and YEEEEBOOOOMMM!!!!! The entire tankbot house was blown to smithereen!!! The FF's were okay because of the cybersuit shield. Baby tankbot was craling away "GOO GOO WAAAH" Rotor jumped in teh air "WOOHOO!" and stomped on it making the robots head EXPLODE! "1up motherFOCKER!" yelled Rotor "sweet bro" said Sonic holding a blue chaos emerald. YELLOW CHAOS EMERALD Big the cat found it inside a fish GREEN CHAOS EMERALD Won at the Carnival Night Zone by Bunnie at the crane game WHITE CHAOS EMERALD One day cream and cheese were throwing a baseball around. "That's no baseball it's a chaos emerald" said Bookshire. He picks it up. LIGHT BLUE CHAOS EMERALD Dulcy flew into a tree because that's all she does and POOF out came the emerald. PURPLE CHAOS EMERALD Uncle Bob Prower was in a sniper duel with Fang the Sniper (aka Nack the Weasel) his arch-enemy from the Furry Troubles. After 1 month of trying to snipe each other Fang stepped on a landmine Bob planted. GA-SPLOTCH! Blood and bits of meat all over the place. "fock ye wanker!" growled bob. He picks up Frangs hat and the emerald drops out. "Hmm this be a chos emerald! I gottae tell me nephew Tials!" Bob remarked. Bob tried to call tails but he didn't pick up "wat the fock! hae must be in trouble! ach! i gottae go to Knothole!" Off he went to Knothole Village. But before he get's there... ------------- AT THE CASTLE OF ILLUSION "Ahhh, Kitsune" cackled Naugus "not seen one of you in quite some time is very rares yes???" "Uh your weird" answered Tails "Look lookee" he pointed (Naugus) to a big statue of a fox with 9 Tails. "Kitsune he is, he was the first one" Naugus explained "Very important things he did for furries yes" "You know you don't really look like a furry to me you troll lobster goat thing" Tails quipped "Hush you! I am greatest furry" Naugus raged "Away go you!" Naugus walked around his throne room talking to invisible furries or something "yess all bow to Naugus mwa hah aha!" Tails and Robotnik sat around being bored. "Man I thought I'd never say this this, but I really miss the Robotnik show" Tails said to Robotnik "Me too kid" replied Robuttnik "What are we supposed to do here anyway?" asked Tails "This castle doesn't even have cable TV or the internet." King Accorn suggested "There's a wizard chess board with big living pieces that fight" "No thats stupid" said Tails "got any video games?" Robotnik said "there is a SEGA..." "Cool!" Tails said "We can play Streets of Rage" Robotnik continued "..it's a SEGA master system and it only has Alex Kidd games" "FOCK!" swore Tails naugus teleported in "Hey whats wrong with Alex Kidd he's cool!" Tails & Robotnik & King Acorn siad "Uuughhhh...." ------------ KNOTHOLE BVILLAGE The FF's made a plan Uncle bob said Ay lets fockin save tails" he loaded his triple-barrel shotgun Sonic shouted "JUICE N SPRUCE WITH THE JAM HAM FLIM-FLAM PEANUT BUTTER AND JAM M'MAM" "Oh Sonic how do you keep coming up with those, tee hee" said Sally romantically "Guess I'm just a way past cool writer" winked Sonic ZOOOM they blast off at warp 9 back to the castle, Sonic turns super sonic and bursts through the bubble, there's a huge fight, tons of robots get their butts kicked, they saved Tails, everybody cheers but Naugus Robotnik and the King aren't tehre. MIght as well blow up this castle, was the freedom fighters idea. Tails guarded the chaos emeralds while everybody else planted C4. Tails whistles emerald hill music but then a mysterious flying bat drops in. "Hey there" said the Bat. It's Rouge but she's wearing succubus costume. "Guuhhh" drooled Tails. "Those are some nice emeralds. hee hee he" she moaned "I would love to have them cutie fox" She blew a heart at Tails, it hits him and he goes DURP. "Now I will drain your life energy and take these hee hee!" she said "Drain my life energy?" went Tails "ooooh boy!" ------- BOW-CHICKA-BOW-WOW-CHICK-CICKA "Groovy!" exclaimed Tails (questionable sound FX here) A short time later Sonic and the gang return "uh tails...the chaos emeralds are gone" said OSnic "OH FOCK THE EMERALDS ARE GONE!!" Tails was passed out "uurrgg....a succubus monster attacked me" "Oh no we must get him to Dr. Bookshire immedialtely!" cried Sally They see Rouge just before she flies out a windows screaming "HAHAhAHAHA KEEE KEEE" Sonic remarks "You got "attacked" by Rouge? Nice." "Nice" says Knuckels "bien" said Antoine So after that. Knuckles: I know where she gonna take dem emeralds mon! Sonic: where Knuckles: DEFLOATING ISLAND MON! But de island is not so floating any more after it blew up in de last story. mon. Rotor asked "Wait. Why?" Knuckles responded "Because dats where DE MASTER CHAOS EMERALD BE BOYEEEEE!!" ------------ FLOATING ISLAND RUINS 4:55 pm (sunset) When they get there they don't see robots but Nagus'es evil army of demonic things. "Well heck y'all there sure is a lota evil monsters " observed Bunnie "Why heck y'all some of em are troll and some of em are orcs and some of em are dragons and some of em are imps and some of ewm are cacodemons and some of em are jason voorhees and some of em are the Cycloid Emperor. And heck all y'all..." "SOME EM ARENT EVEN THINGS AT ALL" Sonic interrupted "okay can we go now!" "No let me finish Sugah!" shouted Bunnies "ahem...and heck all y'all some of em things ain't even evil monsters at all!" An action-acked and exciting battle ensues but after a hard fough victory the Knothole gang goes to the emerald. ---------- THE EMERALD Rouge gives the emeralds to Naugus "Very good my pet hee hee ho ho" said Naugus petting her on the head Rouge "yays" she's happy. Because she is one of his minions of evil. "And now that I have the meeralds" proclaimed Naugus "YAAAAAAWN" preemptively yawned Robotnik "Boring background information speech time" "YOU FOCK YOURSELF CAN GO!" spitted Naugus Then he yells "Now I use the power of the chaos emeralds to summon chaos!! now I will defeat him and take back the magic powers he stole from me!!!!" Flying in out of nowhere it's Knuckles!! He punches Naugus and he drops all the chaos emeralds! Knuckles grabs em! But...the master chaos emerald cracks open and Chaos comes out! "Roaor!" went Chaos Chaos goes onto Naugus "arrrgg its burning me aaaahh!!!" "Oh no that sucks" mocked Robotnik "Gee lemme see if I can help you" Robotnik shoots him with a glue gun. Now naugus can't move. Sonic Turns super Sonic and spin dashes him HARD! (authors note: Knuckles gave Sonic the emeralds) WAKKA WAKKA BOOM ! Looks like Nagus is dead. BUT NOT CHAOS!!! He's turning into the ULTIMATE DRAGON CHAOS!!!!! "OH FOCK ME!!!" scared Sonic said. "ROOOOAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGROOOOOOOO!!!!!" went the HUGE Chaos DRAGON!!! Snivleys robot army to the rescue!! They all fight chaos! Let the battle commence! AAAARGG!!! SSHUUUUMMPP!! WAABOOMM!! KRALAKAKA! VOOSH!! Dulcy: NUUUKKEEE BRREAATHH!!! XXXEERRKKK!! ZIFF!!! SoNIC: THE WAY PAST COOL SUPER SONIC GENEsIS ATTACK!!! ROOOP!!! JJQQQAASSC!! (the following sound FX could not be transcribed because Chaos was making sounds that cannot be heard by beings from this dimension) Sonic finally does "CYBER QUANTUM SPIN SPEED MEGA SPIN ATTTACK HYPERSPEED POWERED-UP WHILWIND SPIN-SLASH ATTACK!!!!" Chaos exploded everybody got wet but cheered anyways. And so the story ended for today but it wasn't over yet! ------------- Interlude THE DARK WOODS Rouge was flying away from the epic fight but she lost her memory because Nauguses spell over he was broken. "oog...what am I doin. All I know is .. I like shiny jewels" She set out to become a professional thief. ----------- ACT IV THE RETURN OF DAVID KINTOBOR There was yet another huge celebration and Knothole this time with a big cake that said Congrats Sonic. But Princess Sally was very sad after the battle she tried to save King Acorn but he turned to crystal and got sucked into the void again Sally cried. "I miss you my "Bean"" went King Acorn's flashback "WAAAH SOB!!!" wept Sally A few minutes later Robotnik's entire air force carpet bombs Knothole Village. -------- KNOTHOLE VILLAGE ON FIRE Sonic ran around looking for his fellow FF's! Burning huts and furries dying all around. "Why?! WHHHYYY!!!" cried Jackery Prower anguishedly. Sonic sees Snively. Snivley points a LASER GUN at him! "B-b-but you're supposed to be A Good Snivley!" stammered Sonic "A Good Sniveley HA HA HA HA HA!!" evilled Snively "You see rodent we had this panned all along!! You helped us kill Naugus and now we have destoyed Knothole BWAHAHAHAHA!" "QUUUAAACKKKKK!!!" Dr. Quack swings in and shoots Sniveley with a plunger gun. "QUUAKC QUUACK quuackk QUUUACCKK!" screams Dr Quack shooting more pungers. Snivley jumps onto a nearby hoverbike and speeds away. "Thanks Dr Quack" said Sonic "QUUAACK! No prob quuak wuuakk" quack quacked, Sonic and Quack faught but the robots srrounded them. Oh no. But then SHAKA-BOOM! SHAKA-BANG! BANGO! Sounded like sombody firing a sawed-off shotgun and killing bots. Something zoomed in at 10x Sonic's fastest speed. It was their savior, Davey-Kins Kintobor on his ultra-fast hoverbike. He zipped around killing all the bots. REEEEE! He stepped on the brakes and got off. "Heard there was some Phrackin butt-bots that needed a shotgun up the you-know-what hole" said David Kintobor The red fox had a metal arm and was wearing a baseball hat with a raccoon tail. For more information read Blood & Metal by Davdi Gontermal. ----------- THE BRUNING HUT A buncha freedom fighters were cheering because David Gonterman/Kintobor was back at long last. Unclue Chuck said "we can't stay here thas few sure. This whole village is TODAST!" "You got that right" said Rotor dodging a flaming wooden beam. "Whos that mommy? asked Cream "and why does everybody think hes cooler than Mr Sonic?" Vanilal answered "This is the great hero David Kintobor who came from earth" "whats a Earth?' asked Cream davdi Kintobor told his story "Earth. A place where life is not so good for a lot of people. YOu see in the past bad stuff happened, but my afro-central history teacher blamed me for the sins of my ancestors. sigh. She shot mah arm off but King Arcon gave me a new one." "Oh wow really!" cream went "I got teleported to this here mobius. We had many exicitin adventures but in the end i killed robotnik. My DAD!" "HUHH!" gasped Cream "Then i got blame for the sins of the father again, because my father was robotnik. But furries are better than humans so they accepted me. Also I turned into a furry. And after the secret inveterview with princess Sally I beame an official Freedom Fighter!" recited Dave Kintobor "No way!" said Cream "Yeah-huh and I tell you what, if Jim Ross saw the moves i was pullin off in that interview he'd say BAH GAWD!!!" said David Sally smiled "oh golly" Sonic asid "Heeey theres that interview thingy again! What gives!" But cream input "Kintobor...Robotnik spelled backwards! And he wasn't really dead!" "You're smart" said David "Thats exactly right" "Good to have ya back Davey" hollered Uncle Chuck "but we gotta skeedaddle outta this here hut before it burns down!" "What aobut your secret house in Robotropolis" asked The Dave "Past Cool Kinto B" sonic speedily said "lets jammin' like a salmon" Everybody rides on Sonics backpack or David's hovercycle and they zoom away to Robotropolis! BEEEZZOOOOMM!!! BOOMMBBAAARRROOOO!!! The village is NO MORE!!! As a hoverunit dropped a therobomb on it. ------- Uncle Cucks Secret House in Robotopolis After a few months of exciting battles with brand new robot enemies the FF's never saw before including a SWATbot hoberbiker gang (David Gonterman beat them in a street race) they were sitting around at Unclue Chucks secret house doing stuff. Cream and cheese played Sonic's Sega Genesis collection on Xbox360 (a present from David Kintobor). sally and Bunnie organizd the cogs and spokets. Tails drew pictures of Rouge a lot until Rotor asked him to do some of Cream's mom. Meanwhile in the computer room, cyberspace cowboy David Kintobor was jacked into cyberspace thru his "deck" which was an alienware laptop with oclus rift. Uncle Chuck walks in "Dang Davey, you been jackin for 12 days straight!" David Kintobor freestyled a poem about cyberspace ## I hack the web going the speed of 2600 baud i phreak god's phone line zippityzap flash juicy peanut butter and jam on the lightcycles i zoom off the game grid to chibi city down at the capsule hotel i get wonkey with Molly SQL inject the meatware Cybercowboys called me the phastest phreak who ever phracked the phrontier i was it man this is hisotry ## Bookshire said "how beutiful! " and wiped away a tear "all right Ruyard Kipling, quit screwin around and crack the crypto on those WinRARs" Uncle Chuck advised. ---- CYBERSPACE "YYEEEEHHAAW" hooted David Kintobor. He was riding his trusty wireframe hoverbike steed accross the green grid of the internet. He gets Uncle Chucks message "Hy Chuck I'm a poet and I don't know it!" Next, "hmm" thinks David "I gotta contact Sandra Nightweaver to help with these .rars" He puts the internet bike in TOP GEAR to a big purple cube called "www.nightweaver.net" (authors note: This intro is PHRACKIN AMAZING. Too bad the site is down now but it's achived!! link: http://web.archive.org/web/20040925103755/http://www.nightweaver.net/ description: mashup of "End of all hope" by nightwish and WAY COOL sonic fanfiction art) David walks into Sandra's cyber home, the offices of Nightweaver Productions. "Howdy" he says Sandra was practicing her opera singing. Well she uses her encryption powers to open the rars. "Sandra gasped "Oh....my..." David Gonterman says "..PHRACK!" Uncle Chucks head pops in "That phrack don't sound good sonny boy" David says "It's .....COMMANDER PACKBELL!!!" Davey-kins and Sandra drive down the Matrix highway at 9billion parsecs per nanosecond. They get to the Robotropolis server and use their shotguns and light sabers to cut through an army of cybernetik robo-guards. David yells into the chat window "Yo chuck tell sonic to sit his blue butt in front of the TV and watch this!" He jacks in a live feed! UPLOAD!! ---------- [On TV] Doo doo doo doo doody doo doo doo IT'S THE ROBOTNIK SHOW!!!! LIVE!!! From Robotropolis!! THE 100th EPISODE!!!! NOW!!!! HERE HE IS YOUR FAVORITE CHUBBY NUB DOCTOR ROOOOOOOOOBOOOOOOOTNNIIIKKKKKKKKK!!!!! Robotnik: *runs out on stage and dives into a kiddy pool of donuts. h e stuffs his fat face with them* SWAT bots: WOO HOO!!!! *CLAP!* CLAP*!!! Robotnik: Wow. 100 episodes. What a journey its been eh Snivley? Snivley: yes sir Robotnik: seems like just yesterday i was imrpovising a little TV show when i took over the TV station. and from that it just exploded in popularity. Snively: yes very popular with the robots sir SAWTBOT: YEAH WOO HOO Robotnik: Now before we start the big show tonite I'd like to show you this montage. Rool it Snivley (clips from previous episodes of the Robotnik Show are shown to the tune of "Good Riddance (Time of your life)" by Greenday) We see: (Sonic beating Snivley good in the TV station during Sonic Fights Robotnik 1) (interview with Ken Penders) (Grounder and Scratch doing stupid stuff) (Robotnik throws a garbage can at Dr Quack's head) (golf cart mall chase from Sonic Fights Robotink 6) (Frank Sinatra singing) Robotnik: *sniff* good times Sniveley: very good sir Robotnik: okaay now on with tonites episode! interesting stuff you're wearing Snivley: oh yeas sir (he's got a green mowhawk wearing a necklace made of 3.5" floppy dicks) Robotnik: *is wearing a T-Shirt that says "HACK THE PLANET* Robotnik: It's a very special cyberpunk-themed episode! Our guests tonight are William Gibson and PAc-Man Robotnik: because on tonights show we are gonna bring back .... SWAT bots: ...*waiting*... Robotnik: COMMAAAAANNDDERR PPAAAACKKBEELLL!!!! SWATBOTS: WOOOOOOOOOWOOOOOO!!! YES!!! OH BABY!! Robotnik: Now with upgraded AI to make him the SMARTEST ROBOT OF ALL TIME YEEEAHHH!!! SnivleyL: wow sir but i always wondered... Robotnik: What Snivley: why do you always use Commnader Packbell instead of somebody like Metal Sonic from the incident at Little Planet Rocbnik: uhhhh....Little...huh? Snivley: Sonic CD sir Robotnik: ooh yeah well Commander Packbell is just a great guy !! Everybody knows who he is, thats why he's in so many fanfictions. Snivley: he sucks sir Robotnik: SHUTUP SNIVLEY!!! Ah, no he does kinda stuck but we're stuck with him, OH WELL!!! SWAT BOTS: ..... Robotnik: HEEEEYYYY SNIVLEY!!!!!! Snivley: ahh umm yes sir? obotnik: What can you tell me about "cyber punk"? Snivley: It's a kind of fiction sir... Robotnik: *interrupting* Fiction about ....DIGITAL things??? Snivley and the SWATbot orchestra: *rockin out on gitars and drums* Robotnik sings "Fiction (Dreams in Digital)" by Orgy. Robotnik does the vocals and Snively does the robot voice parts. Robotnik: IT SEEMS UNREALL THAT SHES DREMING IN DIGITAL!!!!~~ Snively: dreeams in digital ------------ Meanwhile in CYBERSPACE David Kintobor and Sandra Nightweaver are jamming thru the maze on lightcycles they stole from tron. They get to the center and plant a port scan NUKE. BEEP BOOP BEEP Davey arms the nuke. "YO DAVEY-KINS!" yells uncle chuck "You gotta get outta that sector way past fast! Cut the juice loose and move yer caboose!" David" Why Chuck" "Somethin big and bad is on my telnet! if it catches you your meatware is gonna be flamebroiled like a Whopper at Furry Burger King! Flatlined!" Uncle Chuck communicated. "Ok Sandra change of plans we gotta escape to a GOPHER hole and jack off immediately!" said David Kintobor Then they wear; WAKKA WAKKA WAKKA Se a huge yellow thing... "PAC-MAAAANN!!!!" yells Sandra. "wakka wakka wakka" ate pacman. They zipzoom around the maze but it's no use, pacmac keeps going through the tunnel and tricking them. Finally Davey-Kins has a plan, he stands in front of Pac-man! WAKKWAKKWAKA Thenn...pulls out his SAWED OFF SHOTGUN and shoves it down Pac's BIG MOUTH! "Eat my fruit" says David WAKKA-BOOOOMM-DITTY-BOOM_BAAANNGG!!! Pacman's brains are blown out his skull and he makes a pacman dieing noise. "See you in hell PHRACK-Man" quips Davey They jack outta the net but meanwhile.... ------------- [Back to the Robotnik show] Robotnik: Hey everybody were back! SWATBOTS: OH..........BOY BOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!!! *lights flicker* Robotnik: Uh...what the fock was that? Snively: Damage report sir: The power plant has blown up because hackers set the core temperature to 1 billion zillion degrees fahrenheit Robotnik: The power plant? Now that's what I call a shock to the system! Snivley jumps on the drums and starts playing a beat! Billy Idol runs on stage!1 BOT GOT NUTSS!! SWABOTS: WOOOO! Billy Idol and Robotnik sing "Shock to the System" ------- ROBOTROPILIS 11:42 PM Central Robotic Time Sonic David Gonterman and everybody run to the death egg to fight in there. Massive army of robots attack and theres a big huge massive battle scene . A giant TANKbot appears! "BEEP BEEP FREEEDOM FIGHTERS DETECTED BEEP BBEPP ACTIVATE KILL FREEDOM FIGHTERS PROGRAM!!! BEEP" said TANKBot Sonic tried to lazer it but it was made of reflective coating! Tails and Bunnie fought smaller bots with kung-fu. The TANKbot cause problems until David Kintobor shots its weak spot with his shot gun. BADDOOOMM!! Tankbot died. Next PLANEbot attacked!! "Well that's new" exlaimed Sonic!! PLANEbot dropped bombs on the FF's. "HAHAHA DIE HA HA!" droned PLANEbot. Tails flied up to it and did ninja kicks on it's CPU. Uncle Bob fired the shotgun! PLANEbot fires a missle! "FOCK!" yelled bob, he jumps on it and surfs it up to Planebots nose! Tails and Uncle Bob do the TaekwonDo Shotgun dragon kick combo! (Tails leg catches on fire and Bob shoots it with the shotgun causing a huge fireball) "HHAIIYYEEEHAAA!!!" ROOOBONNGG BLLLEEEMM!!! Planebot goes down in flames! "ha ha" they laugh! Putting the boots to robot butts the FF's clean up and enter the Death Egg core.... --------- [TV] Robotnik: We're back! And now lladebots and gentlebots put your metal hands together for cyberpunk author WILLIAM GIBSOOOON!!!! SWATbots: *clangclang* YAYYY Snivley and the bots play 8bit chiptune music *beepboopbbeepyboop* William Gibson comes on stage Willaim Gibson:... YES Robotnik: This right here is the guy who invented the internet in his stories. But Al Gore stole the idea from you, that sucks. Will: YES Robotnik: I thought so. So my favorite book by you is...uh..that one where the kids download the garbage file and there's that bad guy who rides a skateboard. Oh and the Da Vinci virus! Will: Y-YES....*BLORCH* William Gibson turns into a puddle of gray goo!! Robotnik: erf?! The good turns into a wolf....RYAN HUBER?!? Robotnik: Who the FOCK is that?! Snively shrugs Ryan: Remember me Ro-butt-nik? Robotnik: Well obviously not! Ryan: I'm the shapeshifter freedom fighter Ryan Huber from classic 1990s Sonic fanfiction such as the Newcomer Robotnik: Oh a shapeshifter. H'es like that guy from Furry Deep Space Nine Snively: yes sir the one with the weird head A PEZ-bomb goes KABOOOM!!! Vision LORD OF PEZ appears! PEZ: I'm back too Crazy Ivo. Time to absopositivetivleydiddlydooddly die! Robotnik: *coughs PEZ dust* (huge fight breaks out) In the middle of the fight Sonic the freedom fighters and David Kintobor attack!! (more fighting) David Kintobor tackles robotnik David : ARRRGG They fall down a trap door! The FF's form a circle as Tails and Snively kung fu fight Tails: WEE HOOO HHAAAAII Snively: CHOP CHOOP KICK!!! WOOO The jump kick eachother in mid-air!!!!!!! KABLAMO! --------- UNDER THE SCRAP BRAIN ZONE Robotnik and Davey-Kins fall down into this area. Davey pulls out the shotgun and shoots at Robotnik's head! Robotnik ducks his head down like a turtle. "Huuwha?" erps Davey "Yeah I thought you would try that again HAHAHA!" laughed fatboy. They sword fight with their metal arms! KLANG! BONG! BADOONG! But after a few minutes they get tired and sit down. "Jaysus" said Davey "When ya gonna give this up Buttfat? It was bad enough that ah got blamed for slavery back on earth and now y'all are givin humans a bad name on this planet!" "O ho ho ho" Robotnik guffawed "Interesting you would mention slavery. Let me tell you something about slaves!" "These furries are nothing more than a slave race!" Robotnik fatly declared "SHUTUP" Davey spat "Did you ever wonder why these furries speak the same language we do? Why they have cultures that are the same as Earths? Why there's so many things identical to earth but are called "Furry"?" Robotnik explained "Ah guess ah never th'aw tat'bow 'tit that much" Daved contemplated Robotnik went on more "Thats because these furbags are from Earth. Mobius IS Earth in the far future!" "The hybrid-animals, or as I call them Furries were created thousands of years ago by biological experimentation.. They were used as slave laborers because they were cheaper than robots.And these furries didn't have "human rights" because they're not human!" David looked "Not every country allowed them but enough furries were created that they started a rebellion against the humans. I went to space to get off that furry infested HELL HOLE" Robotnik told ------ FLASHBACK LAUNCH BASE Robotnik is in the space rocket. But the raido comes on: "Eggman! Come in callsign Eggman! You must start the launch now!" "huh" replied Robotnik "Why" The raido said "We are under attack by FURRYS!!!" "Oh FOCK" Robotnik yipped Thousands of furrys were attacking the launch base! These furrys were more ugly than the Mobius furrys. The rocket launches into space as angry furrys launch RPGs and things blow up KABOOM!!! Robotni says "AARRRR I HATE FURRY!!!!"" -------- Back in the present... "Me and Snivley made it to the sapce colony ok. We were building robots but...some of the colonists were doing furry experiements! We did what we had to do and dropped some BIG NUKES on it!! AHAHAHA!" Robotnik smiled remembering "We went back to space but crash landed on a planet annd....the planet was like Earth but ALL FURRIES. I discovered we had somehow travelled to Earth thousands of years later and ALL THE HUMANS WERE DEAD!!" "Human's t'aint that great anyhoo!" Davey-kins countered "ooh well I hope you like it because there's no way for the human race to continue now without female humans! No the only think to do was...KILL ALL FRUUIES" Robotnik cont'd "The furries technology was JUNK! Snivley and myself made some laser guns and bots but then that" he air quoted "wizard" Robotnik said "Naugus showed up and said blah blah humans ooo been a long time since I saw those etc. Anyways we got him to use his mind control powers to start a war between the Great Kingdom and the Paw Empire. I got King Acorn to hire "Julian Kintobor" as minister of science and give me the resources to build my robot army!" Davey said "And the rest...is SatAM history" "Exactly!' robotnik approved "Now you know how much it pains me to see my own son as a degenerate furry...BUT...I know its not your fault your like that! You can still join us and tkae over OUR planet!" "I'll never join you buttnik!" Davey choked "Whats your endgame, we turn everything into robots and DIE?!" "Bwa ha" laughted Robot "No...we will build AI robots to continue the legacy of the human species! We wont let the furrys win!" "PHRACK THAT!" loudly said Davey-kins "My girlfriend Sonia is a furry I'm gonna be furry till the day I day!" "Grr" went Robotnik "That day will be today then" Davey battle cried "YARG!" ----------- THE TV SHOW Tails and Snviley in an intesnse and skilled kung-fu battle. Kicks and punches everywhere. Snivley does his secret move. He pulsl out a rockett launcher and "GO GO SNIV MISSILES!" he fires a bunch of missles and Tails. But tails blow them away with his Tials! WHOOSE Snivley isn't blowcking Tails does his super attack! Tails yells "HYPER KITSUNE UPPERCUT!!!!!!" KKEEEEBLLAAAMMUU!!!! Snivleys head is punched off and flies into space!! The crowd said "all right tails" "Way past cool t2" said Sonuc Tails bows to Bunnie-sensei Bunnie response "You are master of country bumpkin style. HAI!" Rotoro Remembered "Oh no I haven't drank any coffee yet!" He walked over to the coffee machine and turned it on" "doo do doo doo" hummed Rotor THEN... Computer voice girl: NUCLEAR MISSILE DETONATION ON THE LAUNCH PAD IN 10...9.... Rotor screamed "Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no oh noh!@!!" and ran around waving his arms Sonic said "go fast time" Everybody escapes riding on Sonic and.... NNNUUUUKKKKEEEEE!!!! Robottropis explodes in a musroom cloud! Sonic yells "What di you do Rotor?!?!" Rotor went "oh no oh no i forgot bad things always happen when i drink coffee!" Tails cried out "DAVEEEYYY!! Daveys still in ther!!!" BUt we see somebody walking away from the nuclear explosion. It's Davey-Kins. He looks kinda sad. Sally asked "Robotnik?" "Dead" said Davey-kins... ------------ KNOTWHOLE VILLAGE Back at Kothole a big party. Davey-kins told the crowd his story. GASP! "..then ah threw Robouttnik like a fat flabby beach ball and he couldnt get up. He pulled out the nuke launcher remote but ah was...TOO FAST FER THE NEKKID EYE! and got outta thar." HOORAY! Sally-girl and Bunnie-Girl and others were getting drunk on Acorn Beer. Ryan Huber was hanging out too. "oooh yeah dat secret interview! " he woo'd "Wasn't that cool Sally?!" "duuhh huh huh yeah cool we should do that again hah ha *hic* " drunkly spewed Sally Sonic heard it and "The interview..I dunno what that is but I'm gonna find out!" He Sonic sdashed to Sallys Hut and asked Nicole 'Yo Nicole! I got a prob ya dig?" Nicole said "What the prob my main man" Sonic "yo theres some kinda mondo nonsense going on about the 'ol secret interviews. you gotta jam me a fanfic from this ryan huber cat ya dig and make it way past fast babe" Nicole beeped "Yo i dig my main hedgehog" Sonic read the fanfic called The Newcomer and sees... (author's note: Ryan Huber wrote this note me) [[Note: The questions and answers are being kept totally confidential, as Sally doesn't want the interview to be known by all, because she wants to use these questions over to ask others in the future. See "Run with the Fox", by Kris Kelley, for more details.]] (back to Sonicfan!) Sonic umm'd "Huh! What the chilidogs could it be?" ------------ KNOTHOLE PARTY Sonic runs out side . Back to Sally Sonic hollad "YO SALLY!" "what huhuhhuh" mumbled Sally Sonic ranted 'Yo yo Sal you keep talkin bout the secret interview and I never got to do that!" Sally laughed "But Sonic your the #1 freedom fighter you dont need da interview hehehe lol" Sonic yelled "NO SALLY! I WANNA DO THE INVERTIEW! I WANNA DO IT NOW!!" Sally said "whatever. hey Amy lets do a job interview" Amy smoothly went "allll right" --------- SALLYS HUT Sonic is sitting on the bed Sally and Amy come out wearing sailor scout uniforms? Sonic said "cool" Sally announced "I am pretty soldier Sally Moon!" Amy hotly said "And I'm Chibi Rose! Hello!" Sonic said This is neat but what happens next?" JUST THEN ROTOR FALLS THROUGH THE ROOF OF THE HUT! CRAQSH! Rotor should "ooooh noooo!" and landed on the bed Sonic said to him "Yo rote what the chilidog are you doing up there!" Rotor replied "I was picking apples and I fell off the ladder" Sonic realized something "Hey...is that what happened when you fell through the roof a long time ago?" Rotor excitiedly said "It was! I was gonna tell you but you never asked" Sonic said "Wow mystery solved! Thanks Rote. Okay okay, sorry gals back to the secret interview. What the next part??" Amy JUMPS ON SONIC! "Yiffy time!" squealed Amy. Rotor says "All right yiffy time!" Sonic goes "YIFFY TIME??! WHAT...THE....FOOOOCCKKK!!!!?!???!???" (it was loud) Sally said "Uh sonic....you see" Sonic squirreled "WHAT SALLY WHAT!!! You were YIFFING THEM!!?? ALL THOSE HUMAN GUYS!!" Sally cried "No Sonic it's the secret Acorn royal ritual! All princesses do it because...the magic spell turns humans into furries...and if we don't they might become a Robotnik! I'm sorry Sonic..." Sonic screamed "AAAAHHHGHAAAAAGAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!" and ran out the door without opening it -------- KNOTHOLE Sonic ran way Davey-Kins said "Another adventure done, another dead Robotnik, eh Sonic?" Sonic yelled in his face "you focking fock!" Davey just went "wooah..." Sonic ran away speedyquick and Sally and Amy went out of the hut looking glum. The crowd stared and was puzzled and some furs said "Huh? What?" Looks like yiffy time was cancelled. SNIVELYS DECAPITATED HEAD FALLS OUT OF THE SKY AND ROTOR CATCHES IT!! "At least I got some head!" joked Rotor EVERYBODY LAUGHED ! "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA" THE END -------- CREDITS (Frank Sinatra sings over the ending credits) Frank Sinatra: Teleportation yeah! Skooby-doo-boo-dop! Yeah! (He sings Cosmic Eternity - Believe in Yourself) WRITTEN BY: SONIC FAN DIRECTED BY SONIC FAN ORiGINAL CHARACTERS BY: SONIC FAN ADDITIONAL CHARACTERS BY DAVEY KINS KINTOBOR and RYAN HUBER and LORD OF PEZ and BOOKSHIRE DRIFTWOOD Frank Sinatra: Extrordiary theeng can happen when you believein your self!!! You got to have some faith in your self and have respect for your freeeennd!! SPECIAL THANKS TO SANDRA NIGHTWEAVER PAC-MAN AND BILLY IDOL Frank Sinatra: When you feel tight look at yourself a dooby doo! Inside your kookoo heart you find a special place to doobydooby unwind! dooby doo doo! COMSIC ETERNITY! (screen goes black) (a yellow Robotnik is juggling the Chaos Emeralds) TRY AGAIN Sonic: WHAT THE FOCK?????????????????? ------------ ACT V Sonic Fights Another Robotnik SONIC's HUT Sonic was asleep. Zzzzz! KNOCK KNOCK "o sonic open up it's tails!" said Tails Sonic angered "you better not be Sally i'm mad at her!" Tails alarmed "no Sonjic you gotta come quick! In Robotropolis..." Sonic ran outside. He heard the news. Packbell was back! "We didn't stop him....DANG! Phrachk" Davey-kins cursed Sonic chilled "No probs Bobs because I got the ol' Super Sonic to take care of the ol' Butt-bell" Sonic juiced to the max past cool accross the village to... ---------- THE CHAOS EMERALD HUT Sonic walks in to get the emeralds but... "THE CAHOS EMERALDS ARE..." sonic shreiked "GONE!!!!!!!" "Oh muh stars...them emeralds used 'tuh be har...some of em was red and some of em was blue. Some of em was grayne and some of em was yaller. some of em was waahite and some of em was laght blue and some of em was purpuh. And heck all y'all now there ain't no dang ol' chaos emeralds at all!" Bunnie moped. "Bunnie tells it like it is" nodded David Kintobor. "What are we gonna do Sonic!! WAAAAAH" sobbed Taisl. "Yo don't cry little big guy, I still got the ol all powerful Cybersuit!" Sonic reprimanded. --------- ROTOR'S INVENTION HUT Sonic walks into the invention hut. Says "Yo rote, I need the cybersuit did you break it again?" "Nope" said Rotor. "Way cool" Sonic answered and jammed it on turning super cyber-hog. --------- ROBOTROPOLIS GROUND ZERO 10:00 am Sonic cyberspeeded into Robotropolis and his furry friend came to watcxh the showdown. "Yo pack -butt get your butt out here so i can cyber jam it up your ro-butt!" SOnic taunted Packbell appeared but to Sonic's shock and dismay he was a modified super powerful version. "HA HA HA HA !" Pckbell drone-laughed "I am now the .... ULTIMATE PACKBELL!! HA HA !" "Yeah?" said OSnic "Let's see how ya handel the ol' juice n' jam with cyber lazers on the side PAL!" PEW PEW Sonic shot LASER BEAMS and them ZAAAPPOWWW! Sonic's SOLAR FLARE MAGNIFICATION BEAM BLASTER was fired Packbell blocked it with his arm. "Wha--wha...whaaat?" Sonic stammerred Then Packbell said "EAT HOT GOO!" and adds "HA HA!" Packbell shot some kind of acid stuff on Sonic that MELTED THE CYBERSUIT CLEAN OFF?!?! "Oh...oh...PHRACK!!" sonic meweld. Packbell charged up another shot. But Sonic wasn't gonna stay around and get killed so he blased off light speed! BERRRZOOM! Sonic noted that running away deoesn't make him look cool. ---------- KNTOHLE Sonic sat around the power ring pond being sad plus angry. Davey-kins said "Hey Sonic dude man we gotta work together on this" and Sonic grumbled "Fock off bro i don't want your help and I'm sick of you trying to be the cool hero guy!! " Davey-Kins replies "Hey man I don't what your so mad but we gotta fight pakcbell and I'm the best hacker since Kevin Mitnick!" "Don't know why I'm so mad huh!?" sonic said and waved his finger at him (middle finger that is, never seen sonic do that huh!?! he's really pissed) Then Antoine comes in. ."Allo allo Sonique! You should see what i 'have le found oui oui" "On mann." sonic buried his face in his gloves "no Antoine arrrg" "Ah but you muse be zeeing what le great detective antoine did find !! La clue! oui, plese be lookeeng at zees c'est TRAY IMPORTANTE oui oui ui!" Antoine frenchly proposed "Huh??" Sonic looked "That's..." "Oui! Oui oui theese is le ensigna from le dimension altenate! Avec le good snivley, non?" antoine smartly answered "eeet was in le hut du Emeralds Chaotique! I gueess you can say I was using le leetle brain cells, non?" "Woah ant!" Sonic translated "this is a patch from the Mobius Secret Service in the alternate dimension that had The Good Snivley and Robot Shlobo Robotnik! Dang ant I never knew you was a genius!" "Ah hon-hon i 'ave many secretes oui oui" Antoine bragged "Woah that happened??" said Tails aweingly "We thought you were just hiding while all those robots were attacking Knothole way back then" "YEAH TAILS!" Sonic snarled "I was really in an alternate dimension and not being a scaredy hog! Really lil bro, ME??!" Bunnie said to Antoinne "Aww heck 'yall sugauh, ain't y'all just been full o' surprises lately huh suge? AH mean with that thar detective skills and throwin cards at the robots?" Bunnie snuged antoinee antoine went "Ahh eeppp ooohh ah ooh la la" ----------- POWER RING PONG Sonic knew what he must doo. Quicly he zoomed top speed to the coffee cup shed and then swam into the pond and got the Powe rRing Crystal. Snoic said "Here goes nothin past cool in flash! Stand back if yo don't wanna lose your shoes, ya dig? J'eah" Sonic smashes the coffee cup on the crystal! WOOOAHH A PORTAL!!! Davey-kins hasn't ever seen this and remarked "This is frackin bahoogallyroogal" Sonic jumps in the portal but its suckin everybody in!! David Kintobor gets dragged in to and!! SHHAAWOOPP! It closes and Sonic was jucin into a new deimensional zone! -------- DIMENSIONAL PORTAL Davey & Sonic yell "WOOOOAAAHHHHH" ---------- SAME TIME, DIFFERENT DIMENSION WORLD'S BIGGEST TWINKIE-MART (grand opening) SOnic and David land on pavement. *thud!* They see just another day in Knothole city except for a terrorists with a rocket launcher?! Sonic "Erp!" A fox wearing a tuxedo who looks exactly like Tails says "Bloody 'ell?! Sonic?? You're back!! Oh and get yer 'ead down mate!" A worlf terrorist tells "Alibaba jihaad!" PAASHEEWW! RPG fired! Miles shoots the rocket with his gun! PING! It gets knocked off trajectory and goes back at the wolf! He's still yelling and it goes right down his throat! "Bingo!" says Miles The terorist goes "GULP" and swallows the rocket . A few seconds later... BAAAJOORRRPPP! He explodes into gross guts coating the sidewalk! "That's a spicy meat-a ball!" Davey tries to joke "Hmm..nothing?" Sonic sas "Davey-kins...you're here too?! Aw man>.." Sonic introducted "This is David Kintobor from my deimnsion (butt-hole)" (saying the last part under his breath). Miles says "Prower. Miles Prower. Code name "Tails"." An army of terrorist wolfs is running at the twinkie mart with RPGs and AK-47s! "Who are these dudes? They must mondo hate twinkies! " Sonic asked "No time to explain Sonic" said Miles "Just kill em" "You dont gotta ask the hedge hog twice" Sonic shout "All right wolf-heads! Time to get a taste of the ol' spin blade! Let's juice it past cool like it's the last day of school. J'eah!" SOnic spins around in a circle cutting off 17 wolf-heads! Miles shoots them with perfect headshots! BLAM BLAM! ARRG David shoots guys with his shotgun. Each blast causes a HUGE explosion of wolf meat spraying over eveything! "Oi mate" said Tails "Good shootin but watch me suit Sonic covered in blood laughs "Aw don't be such a fancy lad!" A few hundred dead wolfs later it looked like the battle was won but they see... Miles "Bloody 'ell! A BOBOMB!" A little bobomb suicide bomber was running at twinkie mart! BBBOOOOMMMMMMBBBBBBBBBB!!!!!! And there goes Twinkie-Mart. Twinkie bits and creame covere everything. Sonic tastes some "Aw man this tastes good but we lost" --------------- ROAD They get in Miles "Tails" Prowers car which for reference is an orange Furry Aston Marten with dual v-12 engines and it says "Tails" on the side. "Yo what the chilidog is goin on in this dimension since I left double-o-T?" Sonic wondered "Why are all the badniks wolf guys?" 20 terorist jeeps at that poin pull out of a Furry Wal-Mart parking lot. "Looks like no time to explain again amte" Miles smirked ZOOOM VRFOOOM ZOOOM SCCREEENNNEE!! ACTION-PACKED CAR CHASE!! Miles shoots at jeeps while David does too . Sonic throws rings. Miles turns on a button called "Spicy sauce" Oil goop pours out his exhaust pipe then catches on fire!! 3 jeeps cause in it EXPLODE!!! They go around a sharp coner but a jeep rolls over and rams into a city bus! SLAMOO! "That's one way to catch the bus" said Miles Jeep coming at them head on! Miles shoots missiles out the headlights! FWANG FWANG FOOM BAADOOOSHHH!! The flaming jeep flies into a Furry Taco Bell! BBLLAAMM!!! Miles quipps "GUess he had to run for the border. DONG!" They drive on the Hi-way! VRUUMMM VRUUMMM!!! They ram jeeps into oncoming traffic! KEERRBOOOM!! Miles shoots the tire perfectly of one jeep and flips and hits a police car! Then a twinkie truck hits the accident and jacknifes upside down!!! Sonic concerningly says "Not the twinkies again! " A car transporter truck drives in front of them! Miles HONKS! But the truck starts unloading lamborghinis and ferraris at them! Miles dodges around the dumped cars. Sonic says "Who's driving that thing, Furry Michael Bay?" Davey-Kins leaps out the window and jumps on the truck. He makes his way up to the driver and . BA-BLAAAMM!! Shotgunned! But the truck flips over! Miles quickly shootsthe back of a nearby pickup truck that was carrying boards and uses it as a ramp! They jump over 55 lamborginis just before a terrorist suicide van hits the pile of cars and EXPLODES!! WAAAAABAAMMOOO!!! David lands on the hood of Miles car "AAAHH!!" *whonk* He gets back in. David says "You'll never guess who I shot. Furry Michael Bay!" Sonic grinned but then davey said "Nah just kiddin! HAW HAW" Thye go down the offrap NYEER ZOOOOMMM !!! Miles looks at the GPS... "Uh oh a terrorist-friendly neighborhood" Miles gulsp Tons of dudes with weapons firing at them from windows! The roof of the car opens up sonic gets on the emergency machine gun turret! RATATATATATATATA!!! A helicoper is shooting at them now! ping ping pewww! "ack!" sonic yelps "and i thought these were annoying in Furry GTA V!!" Miles turns on AUTO-PILOT! He jumps out the window and flies up to the chooper. Knocks on the window with his gun. "Hi" he says. Then shoots the pilot in the head! He jumps in and... "Look out!! A bunch of those phrack-addicts are blockin the road!!" Davey screams No problemo, Miles flies the helicopter upside down and chops them up with the blades like a terrorist lawnmower! PUTTPUTTPUTT SLLLAASHHHH!!! GORRRP! He jumps out and lets the chooper crash into a nearby building thats presumablty a terrorsit training camp. But now jets are after them!! Shooting homing missles! The neighborhood explodes behind them and they go over a bridge just before it collapses on 100 cars undeneath it!! BAASHOOOMM! Tanks roll onto the road! Miles "Oh frock it, how am i suposed to drive through this?!?" "Meeeeooooww!" WAAAABLLAAAhHBOOOMMMMM!!!! A FIREball flies out of nowhere! Into the jets they blow up and crash into a hotel! Next flaming fireballs are launched at the tanks blowing them up! The fireball is....A CAT??? "Agent Blaze!" exclaimes Miles. A cat with 7 emeralds picks up the car and uses itself (the cat) as a flaming jewt engine! TAAA-SHHEEEYOOOMM!! They fly off like a rockt! ------------ FLYING CAR "Ok NOW can you explain whats going on? Sonic said tapping his foot Miles looks around and then says "Yes" "Those are TErrorists from the group Robot ISIS" Miles explained Sonic said "I thought ISIS was from Furry Archer. Wait never mind, OTHER DIMENSION!!!" Miles continued "This terrorist syndicate is controlled by ....Eggman-Nega" Sonic huh'd "Egga-wegga who now?" Miles said You might be more familiar with his old name....ROBO SHLOBO ROBOTNIK!" Sonic GASPED is shock! David said "WHO???" Blaze dropped the car! "AAAAHHHH!" *THUNK* "Aw great blaze now I need a bloody wheel alignment!" Miles scolded Blaze went "heh heh". THey were at the parking lot of...... --------------- THE GREAT SECRET SERVICE BUILDING HALLWAY They walk down the hallway. Blaze (a girl cat) said "Yeeahh I showed those ISIS-butts the spicy peanut butter and jalepeno jam time!!" Sonic opionated "Yo Blaze that was totally way past cool Blezy-girl" Blaze said "Uh, you mean way past HOT" Then Antoine sees them "Ja ja serh gut Faur Blaze. Ach mein gott ist Herr Hedgehog from das alternetan dimenzschion! Ach do lieber. How hast du been ja ja?" "Yo yo German Antoine" greeted Sonic. "So you see" Miles told the story "After the fall of Robotskia, thanks to you Sonic bloody good job mate, Robo Shlobo Robotnik escaped and changed his name to Eggman Nega. He took over a cult of desert wolves that calls themselves The Wolf Pack." He continue " The wolves worship a diety called "Ixis Naugus". According to their religion he was some wizard that rules Mobius 1000ish years ago. Back then there were many "humans", the Eggman species, but Naugus wanted to kill them all or turn them into furries. His magic was too powerful for anymone to defeat, but one day he was eaten by a giant fire dragon named "Sol". But sol was going to kill everything so some echidnas trapped him inside the "Master Sol emerald"" "Woah" said Sonic "Utter shyte, innit mate?" Miles Grined "that's what we though until we discovered the bloody Sol emeralds was real!" Blaze now speaks "I have some kinda powers that can control the emeralds and I call it "Sol Control!" Sonic blurts "Yo wait a min, In my dimension theres Chaos Emeralds that are the same thing. Soft of. But Chaos is a water dragon and Nagus didn't get fully eaten" Mile sais "Hmm interestin. But there's another thing too....." -------- EGGMAN NEGA'S BEDROOM Eggman is laying in bed asleep, bedide him is EvilSally who is wearing dominatrix clothes. Eggman gets up "yyawwwnn". Goes to the bathroom and looks in the mirror... "HUH!?" he gasps in alwarm. WALRUSS TUSKS are growing out of his teeth?! "Oh frock! " he swears and runs to his videophone. He dials *beepboopbeep* [On phone] Eggman: Hello! Doctor! Doctor Quack appears on the screen but he wears a black labcoat and has an eyepatch. Quack: Ach! Herr Eggman. Qvack wvack. Vat has gehappened to you? Eggman: I need more of that antidote Herr Doktor! It's happening again! Quack: Qvack qvaccck! Oh no hast du beens doin das yiffy time again?! Ach! Qvaaack qvvacck wwuuackk!! Vat have I toldst du abouts adt! You must shtoppen doin it so much. ya? Robotnik: but Sally wanted to... Quack: No excuzen! Qvaackk! You knowst du ist very suschepptible to das Furry Virus! OK-en, i gesenden more antidote, macht schneell QUVVACCCKK VVUUACKK! --------- (flashback over) Sonic shockedly said "GUH!? It's not some mondo magic..it's just some kinda mondo virus thing! Tails explained "Yes apparently this pathogen has existed in every furry since the beginning of recorded history. We didn't know it affected humans until Eggman came to our planet." "yeah " Sonic sharped "and my "fuh-rend" Davey here caught the ol' furry STD from the ol' Sally in my universe from doin the ol' in out in out" "Bloody amazing" said Miles in awe. "He used to be...hue-man?" "Sonic" smacked Davey-kins "I didn't do no yiffy with Sally ! Is that what your mad about?" "Secret interview man!" Sonic got in his face "Ya think the ol hedgehog don't know bout the secret part??! Showin her your "moooooves"!?" "Yeah my WRESTLING moves" David shouted "Er not that kinda rasslin....but ya know like the Stone Cold Stunner! The People's Elbow! I wanted to show her the fightin' style ah could use to fagth robotnik" "Sonia was mah first time...ever mayun...and then ah turned into mah furself." David recalled "Oh geez" Sonic apologized "Man I'm such a boathead Davey-kins. Let's be friends again" "OK" said David. [WOOP WOOP] [INCOMING MESSAGE FROM ROBOT ISIS] =======--- THE BIG TV ROOM Everybody runs in and looks at the TV. The Robot ISIS logo is on the screen and theres music , the song goes " laddy doo ladde dee la la dee day doo da!" (note: this is exactl the same SOng Naugus was singing earlier) Lupe is on the screen now. She's wearing a gold arabian-type bikini thing with jewels etc. Masked wolves with AKs are standing behind here and a few robots. Lupe: Hello Secret Service! We have the ultimate power now THE CHAOS EMERALDS hahahaha no one can stop us! If you want these emeralds you must pay us a sum of one trillion kajillion Mobiuims! If not we will destroy one major city every hour hahahahaha! Lupe: NAUGUS AKKABRU!!! AWWOOOOOO!!! Wolves : awoo woo wooo! Sonic said "Loopy? She's the queen of terrorists in this dimension? In my world shes cool" Miles hmmed "Yes I''m afraid in our world she's the second most dangerous terrorist next only to Eggman Nega!" Chef Rotor walks in "Hello Sonic!" "Hey chef" Sonic answered Chef Rotor said "You know Lupe is really evil and has killed a lotta people. But dammnn she is still a fine beautiful woman. I wrote a song about it" Rotor sings: ~~ Will you make love to me Lu-pe! I'm a magic carpet rider We can do the yiff-ay On my rug down by the fire!!! OOhhh yeeahhh ~~ Antoine claps. Sonic sprurted "The Chaos EMERALDS?! Those are from my dimension! Eggman Nega stole then! We chased him here!" David Kintobor deduced "Mmmph perhaps if we could track the shipments of furry virus antidote we could find the location of Eggmans' secret base!" Miles said "Bloody right! We know the Furry Mafia is involved" Sonic went "All right let's peanut butter and jam on the mafia base! WOOOYYEAHH:" ------------- KNTOHOLE CITY RESTARANTO ITALIANO Sonic Miles Devey-kins and Blaze walk up to the restaurant. (It's a mafia hideout) Outside they see Vector Crocodile. He's weaing a suit and a gangster hat. He flips a quarter. "Nyahh see, getta outta here ya dirty rats, nyaah! Ya better scram , see!" Vector growled. Tails steals his quarter and throws it down the street. Vector runs after it. "Nyaah thats my quarter see nyaah !! you mug, nyaahh" Vecotr blabbed. The gang walks in. But then Cream runs up to them. She's a tough punk girl and Cheese is a flaming fireball. (in this universe he's a Solie insead of a Chao). Cream shouts "Ay whatta you doin here? *flicks switchblade* youse guise betta scram if you know what's-a good for ya's!" "Were here on his majesty's official business small m'am. Now please .." Miles said as shes waves the knife in his face!!! Blaze uses her power to heat the metal blad Cream drops it and cries "ooowwiieee mama! mama! help-a me!! they-a big bully waaah" Vanilla comes out "Whats-a matter a Cream-a!? Hey you's, you'a no welcome a-here you leave before i kicka your ass-a, huh!" "Howdy m;am" says David "We just need to ask y'all a few question if y'all don't mind ---HUUAaAG" Vanila karate punches him, he flys into the wall destroying a bunch of crazy decorations! Blaze does kung-fu battle stance. "Meeoowwooooo" Vanilla backflips into another room then comes out wearing an italian-style kung-fu uniform. "You's a wanna fight, huh? HIYAAA WOOO-A" Vanilla shouted. HEr and blaze fight! Miles comes in to help out but he gets kicked into 12 tables! KKAASPLINTTERRR!! Blaze does firey kicks in the style of jeeet-kuk-doo.*BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM* Vanilla blocks and hilicoper kicks Blaze in the head. Then she steps on her tail! "OWWW" Blaze hollered. Vanilla karate chops her neck! Sonic ran in but gets hit by Vanilla's PSYCHO-CRUSHER! Davey-kins runs in and grab Vanilla to set up the Rock Bottom! But she knees him in the NUTZ! "OOOOF" wheeze Davey and falls over. Sonic does a way past cool hedgehog slider, but Vanilla picks him up and tosses him repeatedly. "Pizza Pie -a toss! " Vanilla yells and throws him into and electric neon sign! ZZAPPAZZAPZPA!!! "Ayiyiyiyiyi!" screams electricuted Sonic! Blaze throws fireballs! "BLAZE-DOO-KEN!" Vanilla ducks and blocks. Blaze jumps kicks her head. Vanilla gets knocked back beind the bar! BAA CLINK SMAASSSHH CEERRRJJJJ TINKLE Smashed glass everywhere. Vanilla comes back out with an ICE CREAM CANNON! "Have-a- some-a my Gellato, beetch " she ackels! Blaze gets shot by ice cream wads! *PA-SPLAAAT* "Ahhh aAARRRGG!" she shreks. Shes getting pelted by icecream snowballs! "Noo i got some in my mouth aahhh NOOO !!"" Blaze cries. Now Blaze is moving slow and she's not on fire. She's getting all frozen. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA" laughs Vanilla "Eat-a my ice cream-a ahahahahah!!!" Sonic "nooo" said he Vaniila replys "OK-a now my secreta attack! HEEYA!" she pulls a TOMMY GUN out of her gi!!? BLAMMABLAMMABLAMALBAMA RITITITITITIT "WOO HA HA HA HA" she whoops Tails hides bedhind a chunk of broken wood and takes shots! Sonic narroly dodges having his butt shot off! Davey-kins goes up behind her and METAL ARM SUCKER PUNNCHH! KA-CHUNK!!! Cream is helicopter flying around with her ears throwing peanutes. Davey grabs her by the ears "GOTCHA!" He spins her then throws her into a pot of tomato sauce!! *SPPLLLLUUUUNNCHH* Cream scream "Ow-a this is-a boiling aiieee!" Vanilla "CREAM-A!!! Ohhh now yous gonna get-a it!!!" She pulls out dry pasta NINJA STARS and throws them at sonic! He getshit by them hes bleeding!! "AAAHHH !!! " Sonic yells Davey gets hit by one right in the eye! "Ahh phrack...this never happened to Chef Boyardee" Meanwhile Miles was secretly feeding Blaze spicy chili peppers! She gets up and....FIRE KICK COMBO to Vanilla! 37 HITS!! Then.. Blaze throws a MOLTEN LAVA FIREBALL at Vanill! *SIZZLE!* *WUUUBOOOOOOMMMM* *plunk* Vanilla "arg I'm-a burning" Blaze jokes "That's a spicy meat-a ball!" Sonic and Miles laugh hard "HA HA HA !! HA HA HA!!!" Davey says "Hey guys what the phrack?!" ------ RESTAURANT 5 minutes lates Sonic tied up Vanilla and Cream with spaghetti. They are looking for clues. Vanilla yells "Hey-a you stupid-a robotti get-a the stuff outta heah!" CLANG CALNG CLANG!!! Out of the bathroom jumps!! LUIGI-BOT! "OKEY" droned LUIGI BOT "WOO! WA!! WAHOO! " he took the hidden item and... Sonic said "not so fast chum! a" and tries to spindash him but Luigi-bot JUMPE over everyubody! "WEEHAA! MAMA MIA!" LUGUI BOT output. "WEE WAHHO WA WA" LUGUI BOT droned then got into his gokart. "HERE WE GOOOO" LUGIO Bot drove off at 150 cc!! "AREEVA DERCHI!! HAH HA HA" Sonic ran after him and there was an EXCITING GOKART CHASE Except Miles just shot the gokarts engine and... "UH OH! WAAAH! MAMAMIA" LUGIBOT panicked. THe kart is on fire and crashed into a gas station.... WABABABABABOOOOOOOMMM!!!!!!! "oohh noooo!" The machine output a noise when luigi loses a life. "Nice I like this" Blaze cheered. She flew into the fire and picked up the secret item. She brushed the fire off it. "Tomatah sauce?!" Daved exclaimed But Sonic opened the can with a spike on his head and inside was... "Bloody ell it's furry virus antidote" yipped Miled Blazed read the label "And its manufactured in...SANDOPOLIS!" --------------- SANDOPOLIS CITY This was a big city in the desert where a bunch of rich furries lived. Miles "Tails" Prower and the crew are going to a skyscraper that is the HQ of Quack Pharmaciuticals. "ok hjere's the plan. We sneak in and get the stuff" said Miles "OK" said the team of secret agents. "Blaze, we'll need you to destract the gurds in the securtiy station. "Heh heh I can handle that. oh yeah" Blaze naughtily smiled. ---------- SECURITY TOLL BOTH Grounder and Scratch are in the booth watching music videos on Furry MTV. "I say my good man, these videos are rubbish!" said Grounder "Oh absolutely!" replied Scratch. They see blaze on the security monitor. "Wot wot? " inquired Grounder "Who is this 'ere bird?" "We best take a gander, jolly good" said Scratch Suddenly Blazes drives a stolen Lycan Hypersport through the booth!! HONK HONK CRRASHHHHAABOOOM She jumps out and throws tons of fireballs screaming "HAHAHAH DIE DIE DIE HHAA AAAA!!!!" Then does a FIRE TORNADO (firenado!) that blows up all the (expensive) cars in the parking lot AhHH BOOOOMMMMITY BAAANNG and Blaze screams "YEEAHHHH FIRE FIRE !!!!" and Groundere And Scratch are melted into a lump of tin. Some ISISbots come outside to look at what's going on, Miles, Sonic , David,, and others, slips inside the front door of the main building.... -------- LOBBY They walk in but....BOTS attack!!! There is a massive chaotic battle with bots getting smashed to rubble nad bolts , springs , screws and oil getting all over the walls from a super sonic spintacular !!! A GIGANTIC bot rolls in!!! Could this be...? ISIS Tankbot attacks!! He shoots missiles and has a flamethrower and a sword! "BEEP BOOP EGGMAN AKBAR" it YELLS!! It attacks at Miles! Miles steps out of the way and it crahes into the elevator!? Miles hits ALL THE BUTTONS on the elevator keypad!! "SO long WANKbot. See ya next year mate." Miles quoted as TANKbots went up and was trapped on the elevator! -------- Many intense battles happen as our heroes climb the 2000 story skycraper, but eventually they get to... --------- Floor 1234 This floor was a museam for comic beooks. "Oh lookit that!" Miles shreiked. "Dr. Quacks got a collection of vintage Fisk Black comics!! " (Fisk Black is a copyright of Jay Naylor) Sonic said "Yeah its pretty cool" "Mate these comics are the reason I became a spy, I wanted to be like Fisk me whole life" Miles awed. Miles steals a bunch of comic books. ---------------- More tense battles and exiciting action at supersonic speeds took place but meanwhile in the basement.... -------------- BASEMENT Chef Rotor and Antoinne plant explosives. "Ze bombs ist gross!" Antoine mentioned ------------- FLOOR 2000 DOKTOR QUACK"S LAB "Yo duck" Sonic said Dr. Quack was there doing experiments with beakers and tubes. "Hold it right there evil Dr Quack" said Miles "Tell us where Eggman -Nega's secret bass is?!" Dr Quack quacked "Qvack QVVAACCK! ICH BIN NOT EIN EVIL!!! Qvvaackk vvuaaack qvack ..Ich am just faschinated by ze Furry Virus and vants to do meine researchen QVACCK QvvacK!" and added "Vat do you thinken happen to me, I am abducten by der shpace mannen und dey do ein mind-controllen exshperiment on meine brain? Den turnen into ein evil Dokto Qvakc? QVVAACKK HA HA WAAVVKAKA QuUUAVVVKK!" "It could happen" Sonic muttered knowingly. "Du shee qvack qvack" Dr Quack lectured "Zis fuuree virüsen ist über-uniqen in it's propertees! Qvvaack qvvaack. Doktor Eggman is infecten by eine um...shquirrel-chipmünk und ist change into....EIN VALRUS?? Vat ze frock is up mit dat?! QVVAACK VVVUUCCKK. I musten finden out das secrets! Even if ich bin vork for das evil Eggmannen!!! Qvack." SOnic speedily spat "I don't think so were' gonna jam and slam your duck-butt Doc!!!" SOnic spindspeeded at Doktor but the duck pulls out a laser plunger gun! PAZEEW! SOnic's crunchy burnt. "Owww" Miles does a british karate jump kick but gets knocked down by Dr QUackes counter move! News blaze fvights with fireballs of fury!! RAAHhH! But Dr Quack whipps out dual auto-rifles and shoots everywhere!! Blaze tries to do a megaheat teleport beam but she can't hit him!! "HUHHH!!" asked Blaze Dokor Quacks chuckles "HA! HA! Ich learnen das Gün-Kata du kasnt no hitten me HAHAHA QVVUUUUUAAACKKKK!!" Blaze tries...FIRECLOUD RAIN!!! She makes clouds that rain molten lava raindrops!! BIBIbibZBBIBZ!! Bt Dr Quack just flips and dodges everything while shooting with perfect aim!! David Kintor picks up: 1x Furry Virus antidote Sonic fastly jams back to his feet and pulls out the modified (by Rotor) ICE CREAM CANNON. He turns the dial to Way WAY Past Cool and... *PPAAASHHLLLAPPPP* machine guns Doctor QUakc with Ice cream shots!! Dr. Quack is frozen solid!! Sonic cooly says "It's no anti-mega gem but It'll do. Chill, doc." "all right sonic!" but robots are coming up the stairs!! At least 3 million robodrones were chasing them!! *DING* ISIS TANKBOT COMES OUT OF THE LELEVATOR !!! He's mad now!!! Davey-kintobor does DAVE-RYO-KEN!! and punches through the ceilieng they all escape to the roof. --------------- ROOF "Bugger! Wot now mate!" asked Miles "We gotta stop those robots. said Divey-kins . He says into the radio "Yo antoinne, blow it" Antoine on radio replies "Eeepp b-b-ut " "SHUT UP AND LIGHT THIS CANDLE ALREADY" David Kintobor badassedly said. RAAABOOOOMMMBOOOMBOOMBOBMBOBMOBMOBMM!!!!! The skyscrape is blowing up and collapsing!! But Sonic had a plan...He uses the ice cream cannon to make a slide for them to get down off the roof! They slide down as the building and robots explode in a giant fireball. "WHEEEE!" they yelled. --------- BACK ON THE GROUND "Waaahh ooooff!" wen everybody as they flew off the ice slide into the pavement. "oh no but the building blew up and now how will we find Eggman!" Blaze noted. "bloody el" said Miles Rotor jumps in "Hey y'all look at this" *holds up crate* "THis here shipping crate will take us to the secret base. I'll hide in it and call you when I get delivered." "ROTORS TAHAT BLOOODY BRILLIAT MATE!!" Miles exclaimed "Way past rot, way past man! J'yeah!" Sonic congratulated. ---------- SHIPPING cRATWE Rotor was hiding in the crate. "Doo doo dum dee doo doo doo yeahhh" he sings. CRRAK Somebodys opening it!! He hears the sound of Eggman Nega and Coconuts jamming to barbershop music. CRUNNK KEWWWK Rotor seees.... EvilSally! Evilsally was weraing dominatrix clothes (they're her regular clothes) and sunglasses. "OOhh honeybunchems isx my medicine here?" called Eggman Nega "No.." said EvilSally "Somebody sent us secret agent Chef Rotor from the great secret service" "uh oh uh oh uh oh uh oh!' said Rotor "Must've been a mix up hee hee" "But but where is my medicine i neeed it waah" whined Eggman Nega "Dont worry sweetie" said Evil Sally "I'll find out what ke knows! HEH HEH HEH!" *cracks whiep* "OOOOH NOOOO!" Rotor yelled as we go to the next scene ------- But before he was captured Torotr sent a text message to the secret service base... OIL OCEAN ZONE Sonic and Blaze juiced it hard and fast accross the ocean to the Eggman base. Blaze flew and Sonic ran on the ocean surface. Sonic spindased the flying spy eye's that had lasers attached. "Yo Blazey-girl, watch where you're shootin the ol' fireballs. This ocean ain't water it's some kinda mega-oilL!" Blaze nodded "Got it main man hedgehog. Let's juice like Dr. Zeus!" Sonic was impressed "Way cool with the ol' words Blazey...or way hot" "Let's fight some Eggman butt!" they both cheered. BOATbot attacks!! A HUGE BATTLESHIP 33000 ft tall! It droned "TOOT TOOTT KILL FREEDOM FIGHTERS TOOOOT" Sonic spin dashed it in half thin did a spinhog tornado launching it in the air!! Blaze hit both halfs with fireballs then sonic did a SPEEDY WIND GUST launching it 40 miles away!! DROOOONNEEEeee .. . LLLAABBLLAAMMMMMMMMUUUUUUU!!! DAvid Kintobor and Tails were in the TAILS-Jet shooting the fock outta Robotnik's air defenses!! Shooting down hoverunits and dodging bullets and missles and DO NOT GET HIT ONCE!! Miles "Tails" Prower jumps outta teh plane and flies down to the Eggman base. One the way down he shoots more planes with a grnade launcher!! "WOOOHOOO" Miles screamed!!! He kicks a parachuting ISIS Pilotbot into another plane causing it to go doomm nNNYYEEAR BOOOOMMMM!!! He goes down to the base... ---------- EGGMAN NEGA'S BASE Miles lands and sneaks past the bot guards. He almost gets to the air vent when... HE STEPS ON A PEANUT!!!! *crak* EVERY ALWAM IN THE BASE GOES OFF AND ISIS ROBOS SURROUND HIM!!!! "Aw bloodiy frockin' ell mate" he exasperated. -------- EGGMANS QUARTERS Miles is sitting at Eggmans table and ISISbots have guns pointed at him. "So we meet again double-o Tails" chortled Eggma-Nega "Oh where are my manners I should get our guest a drink!" "Mountain Dew. Shaken not stired" requested Miles. "You want me to shake your Mountain Due?" asked Eggman "Well ok. HA HA HA HA" Eggman grabs a mountain de can from the fridge and shakes it up !!! "shake-a shake-a shake-a HAHAHAHA" laughed the Eggman Eggman dances around the room shakin the can HARD! Then he grabs a martini glass and puts it in front of Mile and open the can and... SHAKAAABOOOMMMMM!!!! "GGRAAHHAHHH OOOOOG!!!!" wails Eggman as the can EXPLODES IN HIS FACE AND THE METAL BITS GO IN HIS HEAD!!! Miles breaks a bot's arm then grabs his laser rife and shoots the other bots head off!! He's shootiing bots all over the place but then .. EvilSally kicks him the back of the head and he's knocked out!! "ooof" ground Tai;ls. -------- ???? ROOM Tails wakes up after a bit and sees rotor tied to a chair. "urrg gluuugrrgg arrglll" blubs Rotor "Rotor man whats happening ! oi! wake up mate!" Miles said who is also tied up! Then he sees EvilSally with her whip! "Ah you've waken up.. time to play mwa ha ha ha!" she cackled. "Me and Rotor had some fun watching Stampy's Minecraft videos, then some PewDiePie plays Five Knights at Freddies..HAHAHA" she said darkly. "You really are evil EvilSally" said Miles "But for you I've got somethin speacial..." she winked EvilSally put down a box in front of Miles. "This" she said "Is the Air Buddies DVD collection. We're gonna watch it unless you tell me everything I wanna know!" "RRgg arrggg noooo" meeped Miles "Wait wait ! Hold on there Sally girl!" interrupted Rotor "Heh heh so ready to talk" grinned Sally "You know miss Sally even though you are evil and torture people, damn you are still a beautiful and sex woman. If you don't mind I wrote a song about you..." Rotor said Sally said "Go on..." Rotor sings: ~~ Hey there EvilSally! Me and you ought to make love! Ditch that Eggman fatty and spend the night with Rotor's chubb!! All right baby..unh.. ~~ "Awwww! said EivlSally "Eggman-Nega never sings songs for me any more..too busy with those stupid emeralds!!" "baby Rotor would sing songs for you all the time" Rotor said seductively. "HA! Nice try walrus-face" Sally laughed "But a puny Walrus ain't enough man for me! Get a body like Eggman's then we'll talk! " But then... FWOOOSH JJAABUUTHHH!!! FWEW FWEW FWEW Firebllas?!? "BLAZE EX MACHINA!!!" screamed Blaze flying in through the ceiling!! She shoots Miles and Rotor with fireballs to burn off the ropes. But Sally has a MINIGUN!! RPAPRARPAPRA It looked like a dangrous situation but then a missile locked on and blew up EvilSally! SHABLOURP! Davey-Kins was flying the plane overhead. He gives the thumbs up! "Dayumn" said Rotor. -------- EGGMAN BASE Sonic speeded around killing bots while Devey-Kins provided air support. After cutting through the biggest army of Robots yet, Egg-Man-Nega jumps onto the deck. WUBBA-WUBBA-BOOOOMMM "Waaahhhh woooahh" went Sonic as the ground shook ""HA HA HA I have the Chaos Emeralds!" screamed EggMan Nea. "No one can stop me not even you altermante dimension Sonic!" "Only I have the power to use the Chaos Emerlads" said Sonic "You're outta luck...ROBO SHLOBO ROBUTTNIK!!" "Robo Shlobo? went Eggman Nega "Nobody calls me that anymore! Bwa ha!" Robo shlobo ... ooops i mena Eggman Nega.. pulled out the HUGE BLADESWORD! "uh ohs" Sonic mewed. He tried to cut SOnic but sonic was juicing too fast. Sonic tried an air-lock-on spindash but .. KLINGGG!! BONG>>> He ricchochets off the sowrd! He can't get near eggman! Miles Tails and Rotor and Blazze come to help but Lupe runs in front of them firing a bow and arrow! "YIYIYIYIYIIYYIYI" she chants!! DAvey-kins Foxfire jumps out of the plane!!! NEEYYOOOMMM....SPLAT.....KKRRACCKKAAABOOOOOMMM!!!! Tails plane lands in the oil and blows uP!!! "Woops, i guess ah furrgot to turn on the auto pilot" Davey kins sheepily admitted. Davey-kins unsheathes...THE DATA-SWORD OF KEVIN MITNICK! (legendary item) The ocean catches on fire......RRRAABLLAMMM!! As David Kintobor and Eggman Nega have an epic word duel !! CLANK KLING CLANG CHING !!! 1's and 0's fly everywhere!! Davey kicks Eggman back. He falls over and rolls like a fat ball! Davey runs to finish him but...HIS SWORD IS BLOWN AWAY BY A GUST OF CHAOS ENERGY!! "WHAT THE PHRACKK!!" yelled Davey- Kins "It's..it's...." Eggman Nega had put the emeralds in a chaos emerald cybersuit. And he turned into ....SUPER CYBER EGGMAN!!! They tried to fight but Eggmans attacks were too powerful! But Blaze flies in with the Sol Emeralds... and she yells.... "SOL CONTROL!!!" BBBWWEEEUUNGG BOOONNGG AWPAIJIOEVjnjnnj POOOOWWWWW!!! PURE SOL ENERGY IS FIRING AT ROBOTNIK LIKE A GIANT FIRE LAZER!!! Robotnik does A CYBERNETIC CHAOS BEAM!!! THE BEAMS HIT AND BOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM CRAAAAAAAAAAAAASHHHH!! ZZOIOZIIIAIIIZIZIA!!!!!!!!! A GIANT PORTAL OPENED UP !! TIME FREEZES And a man walks out..... "And now.....THE SUPER GENESIS WAVE!!!! AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!" evilly laughed..... KEN PENDERS??! Time unfroze and everything was getting sucked into the portal!! LIGHTNING BOLTS FIRING!!! EARTHQUAKE!! THE OCEAN BLEW UPPP!! "whhaa?" went Sonic Nearby a pirate ship was sailing across the ocean. "YARRR!" said a dolphin pirate captain "What be this sorcery!! ARRR Reverse course YO HO!!" But a little raccon girl got blown off the deck and was flying at the portal! "ARRR!!! NO!!! MARINE!!!!!!" bellowed the dolphin. Sonic ran away but wasn't fast enoguh "Man I can't juice away from this wonky portal thing!! EEEYAAAHHH!!!" SOnic was sucked into a nother zone!!! of time and space!! just before..... VEEERRRBBOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!! KKRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!! THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE BLEW UP!!!!!! -------------- ACT 666 The Evil of Ken Penders TIME PORTAL EXIT Sonic WOOOAAAHHHHHWAHWAH *SPLAAT* Sonic laned in an unknown city. He looks around and sees ... HUMANS EVERYWHERE?! "WHat the CHILIDOOOGGG" Sonic went "humans...did I juicy jam mondo way back in time?!?!?" A sign says "St. Louis Missorri" Sonic reads it "Hey...Davey-kins Kintorbor told me about this place..it's the city he lived in before he came to Knothole" Then he sees....THE ORACLE! "Soooooonicccc" groant the Oracle. He pointed to a poster. It says GREEN DAY CONCERNT St Louis Megadome! Oracle threw Sonic a cell phone. The date matches the one on the poster. "Woah" said SOnic "It's today. Must be mondo important I better jam there!" The Oracle diappeared! "HUH!??!" Sonic said "Where'd he go??!" Then he saw another poster that said "FOXFIRE STUDIOS OF ST LOUIS" "Davey-kins!" sonic Elated "Time to juice and jam to the ol' foxfire studios! I always wanted to see that place!" ----------- FOXFIRE STUDIOS David KIntobor was drawing a comic. "The Ballad of Johnny Briz". A mouse named Johnny Brix was there too playing some video games. DING DONG! David answered the door and saw "OH MAH PHRACKIN GAWWD> Bah Destiny (authors note: Mobius diety) Sonic's back after all this time!!" "Ha-ha! Sonic, oww I heard all about your adventures on Mobius when Davey Kins contacted me throught the dimensional portal during the events of Blood & Metal ha-ha!" explained Johnny Briz "The names Johnny Briz ha-ha" sad Johhny "I'm like a badass Mickey Mouse ha ha! Because foxfire studios is DISNEY MAGIC , FOX ATTITUDE! ha-ha!" "CoooooL" said Sonic "BUt wait?! DAVID KINTOBOR IS HUMAN NOW?!" "Yeah" David sighed "I had tuh use the dose of Furry anti-virus on muhself...cuz humans in my time will never be accepting of a furry." "Yeah ha-ha tell me about it!" Johnny Briz said "Everybody calls me a mascot, but i'm a REAL MOUSE ha-ha." "That sucks, they hate furries fo no reason? Man what a bunch of Rubbutniks!" Sonic scolded "Naw Sonic" said Davey "Lots of people are furries too, they wear costumes and everything> Not everybodys a bigot" "Thats nice but we gotta jam likee jelly on a ham because something is going down on the Greenday concert today?!" Sonic yelled "Whats happening?" asked Davey "I dunno but THE ORACLE TOLD ME!!" Sonic screamed "The Oracle?!" blurted David "Must be important! peanut butter and jam time!" "Jeah!" exclaimed SOnic. David and Johnny climed into Sonics backpack and they run off!! --------------------- GREENDAY CONCERT Sonic looks at the stage, Greenday looks different to him. "Woah!!" sonic confusedly said "It's a ... HUMAN Green Day!" "Yeah Sonic in my time Greenday is humans but they still rock like the furry version" answered David. Johnny Briz was wearing his magician's costme, he's ready for a fight. (Johnny Briz has magic powers). For a while nothing happens then A POTRAL APPEARS OUT OF NOTHWERE!!! Everybody screams and tires to run away! It's chaotic! Then a kitsune (fox) with 9 TAILS steps out of the portal. He's carrying a giant cannon gun. "Who the PHRACK.." asked Davey "Huh? A Tails?!" Sonic bemusedly said The 9-Tails Kitsume loudly announced "Helloooooo Hyeeewwwmans! My name is KILOS PROWER!! And I have come to bring FURRY JUSTICE!! " He pointed his cannon at the crod and started spraying them with some kind of bio-goo. "AAAH HA HA HA HA!!! " howled the mysterious Kitsune. "Yo unknown Tails relativew!" sonic shouted "I'm gonna jam your 9-tail butt back to your own dimension!!" Sonic ran up to the stage like a MEGA DASH!" David shot the shot gun and Johnny Briz threw magic cards! But then all 3 got sucked into the portal!! ZZZWOOOOOPPP ----------------- ST LOUIS MISSUORI ALTERNATE TIMELINE David and Johnny briz yelled woah and flew out of the dimension portal and splatted on the ground. "This is happening a lot lately" David mentioned They looked around and saw the city was in ruins! In the center of the city was a dark tower made of comic books. They saw furries wandering the streets. But these furries were all SUPER UGLY, DISGUSTING echidna abombinationS! "Uuugg it hurtz too liivveee" moaned an gross pink echidna in a weird bathing suit. Then they saw what looked like black guys in space suits flying around. One was carrying a person. "NOOO AHH dont turn me into that AAAHH!" screamed the person. A monolithic billboard caught their attention ... it says "KEN PENDERS IS A GOOD ARTIST SO NO BAD COMMENTS PLEASE" "KEN....PHRACKIN...PENDERS!!! " DAvey grrred' through his clenched teeth! JOhnny Briz pulled out his Desert Eagle and put on sunglasses . He said 'It's time to kick phrackin ass and eat chees. And Johnny Briz is all out of cheese ha-ha!" "I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS BITCH" said a super cool voice from behind them. Duke Nukem was shooting the crap outa all the echnida things. "Ohh ha-ha sorry Duke! I didn't know you were there!" Johnny Briz said. "DAMN THAT WAS ANNOYING" said Duke "WHAT THE HELL KIND OF ALIEN BASTARDS ARE THESE!?" "They're not aliens" said Davey "I think they're people who have been mutated into echidnas" Duke spouted "ECHIDNA'S ...YOUR ASS....WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE" "Ken Penders " said Devey furiously "Firs t you try to kill Sally now this. Time to finish what I started with the Sally Revenge comic" He loaded his sawed off SHOT GUN. "KEN PENDERS YOU SON OF A BITCH" Duke dukely said "YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR TURNING OUR BABES INTO UGLY FURRY MONSTERS" "ITS TIME TO KICK ASS" "PHrackin A Duke" Davey said. "Let's VOTE NO on KEN PENDERS" ------------ A DIFFERENT ITME AND PLACE OUTSIDE A HOUSE SOMWHERE Sonic ended up here on the grounds of a huge mansion. THe oracle wasthere too. "Sooonniiiccc" groaned teh Oracle. "YO ORACLE DUDE!" sonic yelled angrily "Stop teleportin my butt all over the place with no explaination!!!" The oracle continued "Sooooonic....an EVIL POWER is manipulating time and space...you must stop it here!" "STOP WHAT ?!? " sonic blew out his voice screaming. Oracle pointed to the bushes. Sonic saw a metal monkey tail sticking out.. "Coconuts?!" sonic yelled. The oracle diassappeared again. "What the fockin chilidogs stop doing that!! ARRG!"" Sonic screamed at the air. --------- BEHIND A BUSH Coconuts spotted sonic "Ook eek, Sonic Priority 1. HEH EH time to diee!" Then he saw Grounder and Scratch too, but they looked shiny. "They blew up! Whats going on" processed coconuts in his computer brain. "DUUUUH WHO is dat!" drilled Grounder, dumbly. "HA HA HA HAAAAAA! I do not know!" Scratch laughed like an idiot. "I'm coconuts you stupid mornons!" eeked Coconuts "And why aren't you guys talking like Furry Beavis And Butthead?" Grounder dumbly blurted "DUUUUH Beavis and Butthead....DATA NOT FOUND!" Coconuts ooked "Whatever ;et's just kill Sonic!" Scratch idiotically screamed "HAA HAHAAHAA!!! Variable "SONIC" not defined!! HAHAHAAA!!!" "Where you idiots born YESTERDAY!" Coconuts madly yelled "DUUUH!" said Grouned "DUUUH We were born just 10 minutes ago DUUUUHHH DUUH!" Scratch said in addition " HAHAHAHAAAAA! YEAH! Manufactured at Robot plant 28-B. ONE PLUS ZERO MINUTES AGO ... THAT IS ... HA HA HAAAA! I DONT KNOW MATH!! HAHAHAAA!!" Coconuts explained quickly "Sonic is priority 1 we have to kill him because Robotnik told us too!" "DUUUUHHHH" drolled Grounder "ADMINISTRATOR ACCESS GRANTED DUUUHHHH! INPUT ACCEPTED ... Duhh KILL SONIC duuh dUURR DUUH!!!!" ---------- YARD "HUH hUH DuUUAAAHH dis wil lWORK! " Grounder blurted stupidly. He inflated a Fiona Fox decoy. "AHHAHAHAAAAA what a great trap!" Scratch yelled Sonic sees them but he has a plan. "Can't trick the ol' hedgehog that easy!" Sonic zooms up to the fional fox doll. He moans "Ah! Mi amore!! You are so beutiful! " Sonic kisses the decoy "muahh muahh Oh I love you let's get married!" He carries the doll to the garden shed. (weird sounds start coming from the shed) Scratch says "Uhh...HAHA...what do we do now Grounder" Grounder shrugged "DUUUHHH....I DONT KNOW!" Sonic comes out of the shed dressed like a sexy female Grounder-bot. (Sonic lifts up the head and winks to the audience) Grounder says "DUUUUUHHHH.... OOOOOH BABY WOW!" a train whistle comes out of his head and toots WHOOOOOOO "Tee-hee!" says the Grounder girl. Then she punches Grounders head off! "DUUURRHH DUUUHH" Grounder yelled . Sonic rips off the Grounder disguise. He waves his finger at Grounder and Scratch. "I'm gonna shove you robo-heads up your own metal butts!!!" Scratch dimly asked "HA HA HA HAAA! How?" "LIke this rooster-head!" Sonic shouted. Sonic picked up grounders head and stuffed it inside Scratch's metal butt. Then he kicked off scratch's head and put it on grounders body. Then he shoved scratch's head up grounder's metal butt! Then he shoved Grounder up Scratch's metal butt! "I'm such an artiste. " Sonic observed "Well better than Ken Penders anyway." Sonic opened up Scratch chestplate and pushed the self-destruct button. The screen said INPUT PASSCODE TO AUTHORIZE AUTO-DESTRUCT. Sonic hmmed "These robo heads look like they're just manufactured. Must've come through the time portal. So that means, Robuttnik's default passcode should work." Sonic input >6969 The screen blinked "DR ROBOTNIK ACCESS AUTHORIZED. DETONATING NUCLEAR REACTOR IN 10....9..." Sonic kicked the mangled ball of robots and it landed in the neighbors yard. KKKEEERRRRRBOOOOOOMMMITTTYYY!!! A nuclear detonation left a huge crater. "Hole in one! Chow, babies" Sonic cheered. ------------ 1 minute later Coconuts was watching the fight "OOkk ook uh oh!" he scaredly said "I've gotta kill sonic myself." He sapped his fingers "I got it!" Coconuts pulled out a suitcase. He rummages throguh it and throws out a baanana, a can of beans, a live shark, a Candy Kong body pillow and then... "Ah ha here it is! " Coconuts proclaimed "A Satan-3 nuclear missile! This oughtta do it!" Coconuts started the launch sequence but SOnic saw it and gulped "Egad! That mondo missle could so serious damaage to the ol hedgehog hairdo. Gotta jam a plan faster than buttered spam." FOWWWWWSSSHHH!! The missle takes off into space! Then comes straight back down the the same spot! Sonic runs up in the air and turns into a ball. He spinzooms onto the missile and spindashes around and around it building up more speed. Then BAAAZOOOMM!!!! He jumps off the missle and bops Coconuts on the head killling him. The missile curves in the air and changes course! It flies far away and blows up somewhere in Canada. NNUUUUKKKAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!!!!! There goes our maple syrup. "Hedgehog one, dumbbots nothin!" Sonic yeah'd. Then went to the house. ----------- ALTERNATE ST LOUIS THE DARK TOWER OF KEN PENDERS Davey-kins Kintobor, Johnny Briz and DUKE NUKEM stomp into the lobby of Ken's dark tower. They see a black man in a space suit. He drones "BEEP BEEP HAIL KEN PENDERS!" Duke badassley says "HAIL TO THE KING BABY" and blows him to chunks with the DEVASTATOR! (dual missile launchers) KLANNNG "Hey look!" exclaimed Johnny Birz. Metal parts are now laying a pool of oil. He tastes it. "This is oil! It's a robot" "Hrrm" pondered Dave "So these african-american astronauts are actually some kind of PENDERSbots." Johnny Briz chucks an Ace of Spades at another PENDERSBOT head. Shunk! "BEEEP BEEP DRONE BEEP BEEP" drones the bot. The card explodes also detonating the robot. "Yep sounds liek a robot to me! ha=ha" yapped Johnny Briz.. -------------- The trio fought their way throguh Ken Pender's legion of traps and robo-soldiers. It was the most epic battle of their lives but eventually they reached the throne room. The dark lord Ken Penders sat atop his throne of comic books. "ha haha" he evilly laughed "I see you made it past my guards. Very impressive especially with that metal arm Davey-Kins ha ha!" "Phrack you Penders!" davey yelped "TIme for sally revenge comic part 2: I shoot your head off" "oooh ho ho ho I don't think so Gonter Man!" Penders scowlerd. "It is only because of a slight accident that you are here!" "Huh" gulped David "Oh! He doesn't know HA HAH A HE DOESN'T KNOW!!" Ken cackled venomusly "As I recall your history teacher di that to you..." "Yeah" mutterd Davey "BUt thats in the past besides you did worse things to the freedom fighters" "The past!!" yelled Ken "HEE HEE HAA HAA" [flashback] (classroom) History Teacher: My great great great grandmama had to shoot a slave owner to escape. and thats why white people are bad especially KINTOBORS!!! Ken Penders: What did she mean by that Davey boy David: She blames me for the SINS OF THE FATHERS Ken: No! Listen again! Tearcher: *points shotgun* Y'all take me to yer estate and free the slaves! --------- A FARM AT NIGHT 1800s A black man in a space suit punches through the wall!!! "BEEP BOOP BEEP. GREETINGS HUMANOID. YOU ARE LIBERATED BEEP BOOP!" droned the "man". "Well thanky'all kindly stranger." said a woman "What's your name?" The, yes , robot droned "BEEEP ... ACESSING....I AM COWBOY JANGO. " "Jango you gotta help me free the other saves on Calvin Candys ranch" she asked "NEGATIVE" droned the bot "NEW DIRECTIVE. TERMINATE SLAVE OWNER , TARGET: DAVID KINTOBOR. BIGGEST SLAVER IN PRE-CIVIL WAR AMERICA. BEEP BEEP." "That no good badnik is gonna pay" she said. Robot handed her a shot gun. "LOCATION CONFIRMED. WE MUST JOURNEY TO ST LOUIS. I KNOW A SHORT CUT. DROONNE" the robot lied They go into a portal and.... BLLAAAMMM AUUUGHHHH!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! --------- [flashback over[ Davey blurted "WHAAAT! " Ken explained sinisterly "Yes..I used your history tearcher's ancestor as an untraceable assassin. The only problem was she missed and only shot your arm off!" David was in shock . He furiously screamed "You ruined almost half of mah life KEN PENDERS!!!" Johnny Briz pulled out his magic wand. Dauk Nukem loaded the chaingun. Duke shouted "I'M GONNA THROW YOU OFF A BUILDING LIKE PRINCESS SALLY" "mwa ha ha ha" laughed Ken! Brisby shot magic PEW PEW PEW Duke shot bullets BLAMBLABMLABMAMLB David Kintobor fired the SHOT GUN! CRACK DCRAKC CRACK!!! Ken Penders was unhittable because of his super fast teleportation ability. Duke get out the shrink ray. He fired it but Ken help up a mirrior and bounced the shot back at Duke. BEWWWE! "eeeeeeep!" screamed tiny Duke. Ken tried to step on him but Duke ran into a mouse hole.. The fight continued... --------------- SONIC UNKNOWN BUILDING Sonic walked up to the building. A sign said "Mobius Labs Scientific Research". Sonic said "hmmm" then rang the doorbell. A fat, but not as fat as eggman, man opened the door. He looked like robotnik but older. "Oh hello there!" said the man. Sonic asked "What is this place? Dude I'm mondo lost" "Why this is the Mobius Research company facility. My name is Dr. Gerald Robotnik" said Dr. Gerald Robotnik. "GUUUAWHHHAAT!" sonic burped "RO-BUTT-NIK?" "No, RO-BOT-NIK" corrected Gerald. "Please come inside my furry friend! I must show you something" "Furry FRIEND?" said sonic "Why would a Robuttnik have furry friend?" "Huh" questioned Gerald "I thought I had a reputation as a huge furry lover. Hmm maybe not everone has heard..." They go inside. "Can I offer you a drink?" said Gerald. "Got anyy Mountain Due doc?" Sonic begged Gerald got Sonic a Mountain Dew from the friedge. Sonic looked at the can "Mountain D-E-W?" he spelled "Somebody mustve made a spelling mistake at the can factory" "Do you have a name, hedgehog?" inqured Gerald. "Yeah" said Sonic while drinking Mountain Due "Sonic T. Hedgehog" "T?" asked the Dr. "The " answered Sonic "It's a really common middle name where I come from." "And do you have any abilities people would condier...er...special?" asked Doc Gerald. Sonic thought "Hmm...well I jam past cool on my guitar...and I look good...oh and this!" Sonic ran around the walls and ceiling knocking stuff over yelling "YEEAHH WOO PAST COOL JUCING PEANUT JAM!!" "Amazing!" said Dr. Gerald "I knew you were one of mine!!" "Uhh..what come again Doc?" Sonic said confudsed. ------------- DR GERALDS LAB Gerald said "Ever since I was a small boy I loved furries. They're so cute n cuddly! Many of my fellow humans called me a traitor. My own great grandfather Ivo was a supposedly notorious furry-hater...But all I wanted to do was bring an end to the furry wars. Furries and humans should live in peace" Sonic said "uh huh" Gerald continued " As you know G.U.N. the global human government has decided all furries must be exterminated. Some foolish humans believe they'll catch diseases just from being around furries. Nonsense! Sadly, the predujiced humans are winning this fight. That's why I've been trying to create an ULTIMATE LIFE FORM. To save the furry race!" Dr GErald turned on a TV. Sonic saw a black hedgehog in a tube. "This was my first attempt. This hedgehog theoretically would have had SUPER POWERS. 30 years ago he disappeared when anti-furry death squads attacked my lab." "But.." said Dr Gerald "I believe he survived. BEcause of you! The black color was the result of a mutation. Originally, He was genetically engineered to be blue...." Sonic froze. Sonic was having a flashback!! Rotor: I have genetically engineered this apple to be blue Rotor: ..genetically engineered/... Sonic screamed "HUUUUHH!!!!! THAT MEANS>>>!>" Furry Butters: loo loo loo...I've got some apples... Sonic was rolling around on the floor " Nooo...this means I was a genetically engineered FURRY WEAPON!? Invented by a ROBUTTNIK??" Furry Professor Chaos: *holding a blue apple* AAAH HA HA HA HA HA!!!! ------------ THE FLOOR Sonic woke up on the floor "oog" Dr Gerald panicly said "Wake up Sonic! Are you all right?!" Sonic moaned "uuhh what did you say docc urrg" Dr Gerald said "I was saying that you must be one of Subject HEDGEHOG-01's offspring! And then you passed out?" That's when something flew in. It was a baby that was part goat, part troll, part unicorn and part lobster. Or something. Sonic thought the baby looked super ugly. Then he recognized it "GuuHH HURR WAHH!!!" he splurted. Gerald said "Ah, this is my new life form. Isn't he cute?" "GRR! GAAAHH!! UURRRG" croaked the thing. "His name is Naugus. The end result of project I.X.I.S. I named him after my character from D&D." GErald explained. The baby flew around spitting goop. Gerald professed "He was created from the DNA of many different specicies, most notably the hydra. In theory this would make him immortal. So far he has demonstrated remarkable telekenic abilities from a young age!" Baby Naugues knocked over a table with his mind smashing all the lab equipment. "HEE HEE!" cuckled Gerald "This cute widdle baby is the key to the furries future. Sonic, please join us and fight for FURRY JUSTICE!" Sonic said "Fock that man!" he zoomed away and grabbed a bmetal baseball bat. "I'm gonna smash your brains out little Naugus!" Sonic yelled "Chow, babay!!!!" "NOOOOO!" screameed Dr. Gerald "No my precious snookums wookums you monster nooOO!!!"" Sonic was about to crack the babys skull for a HOME RUN then... YEEEEEEP Sonic was dragged into a portal that opened out of nowhere!!! -------------- KEN PENDERS DARK TOWER Dave-Kins and johnny Briz were still fighting the evil Ken. Davey got tired and fell over. "If only we could stom him from doi nthe teleportin" Davey pondered. "That's it!" he said "Yo Brisby, do the anti-teleportation jinx" "OK" Johnny Briz waved his magic wand "STOPPO TELEPORTO!!!" YONNK "ooof" Ken puffed JOhnny briz hit him right in the neck with a wedge of razor cheese. Then suddenly CCCCHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!! Went David Kintobors SAWD OFF SHOT GUN!! Ken's meaty chunks flew off his torso. "Le'ts finish 'im J.B.!!" Daviey yelled Johnny Briz kicks Ken square in the NUTZ! Then does the STONE COLD STUNNER!!! THRREEEEE-SIXXTEEENNN!!!! Davey-kins runs back and forth and...ZAAAAAPP! He drops THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW!!!! "BLAARRGGGLLL!!!" hurgled Ken Penders.. Blood flys everywhere! But Ken gets back up and laughs HAHAHAHAHA Ken holds up a syringe "Bwahaha. Now witness the power of THE PERFECT FURRY VIRUS!!" *squeep* he jams it in his arm. "AAARRRGGG!" Ken went as he was mutating. David and J Briz stared at him as he changed into... Johnny and Davey both yelled "GEOFFREY ST. JOHN!!!!???!" Geoffrey was standing in front of them instead of Ken. "How do I look, buffooons? fa-ha-ha-ha" he taunted like a stupid baby. POP POP! Geoffry quickly shot both of them with his stun gun that he qiuckdrew. "UUrrg!" Davey horked "What in the name of sweet mother of PHRACK is goin on here??!" "Yes Mr. -Kins" Ken explained ''Twas me all along. The awesome and handsome super spy Geoffrey St John is Ken Penders final evolutionary form" "We've reached the point in time where I've modified the furry virus into my perfect version." Ken/Geoff ranted "This has happened many times before in Mobius'es history." "Why Geoff, Whay?" cried out Davey-kins Ken rambled on "In the Eggman Nega dimension you saw what happened when the Chaos Emeralds power collided with the Sol emeralds power. It created what I call a SUPER GENESIS WAVE! A chaotic event that destory the entire universe!" "N-nooo! ha-ha." chattered Johhny Briz Ken spewed "And during the battle of the crystal mine, Chaos ate the core of Mobius and blew it up, another super genesis wave event of my doing" heh heh! "You see buffoons" Geoff spat "I have to do this because the universe is WRONG!! Princess Sally, she is like the most beautiful apple...ahhh! But alas she never chooses ME as her true love!! ARRG ITS NOT FAIR!!! And it keeps happening no matter how many times I blow up the universe and force Silver to reset everything!!" "Y-y-ou are a A EVIL MOTHER PHRACKER" Davey-said. "SHUT UPPPP!!!" Geoffry bellowed "But everything is different this time around!! I don't need smelly old sally acorn!! I modified the furry virus into something even greater! I have made a world of perfect echidnas of my own design. And I will rule over them as the beloved and sexy king of planet PENDERS!!!" "PENDERS...*HURHG* .. GEOFF.." Davey spit blood wahile taliking "Whatever the PHRACK you wanna call yourself..I goota tell you..*HACKK* Those echidnas are the UGLIEST THINGS IVE EVER SEEN IN MY PHRACKIN LIFE SO HELP ME DESTINY" Ken kicked him the the nose "Dorf!" Davey blurted in pain. "And now it's time for me to finish the job teacher lady couldn't.....to MAKE YOU DIE DAVID KINTOBOR!!" Geoff shouted. BOOOOMMMM That's the sound of a rocket launcher blowing up a wall. Out stepped DUKE NUKEM. He shot Geoff with a rocket right in the EYE. Geoff "TYEERkgHH! nOoooOO!!" Duke grabbed Geoffry by his neck and threw him out the window to HIS DEATH! "AAHHHH HOO HOO HOO WEEEEEE!!!" screamed the evil Geoffrey St John. *KA-THUNK* Duke growled "ENDGAME, MOTHERFUCKER" "ha-ha always bet on Duke" Briz beeped. "Time to light this candle" Davey quipped. Davey-kins knocked over a torch (intentionally) and set the tower on fire. "HOW THE HELL DO WE GET OUTTA HERE" Duke asked "Johnny Briz pulled 3 jet-packs out of his top hat "Always be prepared to jump off a tower I always say ha-ha-!" They take off and fly into the air ZIIIIIP The evil tower of crappy comics collapses burning into ash. --------------- TIME PORTAL Sonic flew through a time portal yet again! "woah..." Sonic said boredly because it happens so much. "ssssooonniiccc" hissed the Oracle "Um YO ORACLE DUDE!" Sonic demanded "Tkae me back to that other time so I can make a baby Naugus pancake!" "Sonic I cannot!" the Oracle moaned "But I sense the EVIL POWER's control over time has weakened. We can now correct the historical events, and then I can bring thou the CHAOS EMERALDS" "About time in time " Sonic muttered The Oracle squacked "Thou must defeat the Kitsune in battle before he changes history irrepraarbly>" "How the chilidogs do I do that?" Sonic inqusitively stated. "I will devlier you to the time just before he sprays the Greenday fans with the virus. All you need to do is...ahh..how you say....juice and jam his buttocks" "OK" said Sonic Sonic took a deep breath and SCREAMED "iiiit's SLAMMA WAMMA JAMMA BAMMA HEGGITY HOG PEANUT BUTTER ON A CHILIDOG WAY PAST FAST BLASG TO THE PAST HONKY TONKY WONKY DONKEY JUUUUUUUIIIICCCEEEE TTTIIIIIIIIMMMEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The oracle gave a thumbs up and whispered "yaaay" ------------ EARTH GREEN DAY CONCERT Sonic speedrolled out the time portal like a hedgehog warp speed firing on all cyclinders. Then he heard waht sounded like a jumbo jet... VVVVRRRNEEERRRROOOMMMMMM He say the 9 tailed Kitsune fly in spinning all his tails. Sonic did a quick HOMING STRIKE! QUAFF! "WuuHOO WOOAAAHH" went Kilo Prower as he crash landed on stage into a speaker tower. "Yooooo BUTTMUCH!" Sonic called out "I don't know which one of Tails uncles you are.." "Tails? Yes I have tails" said Kilos Prower "And what of it" "No no no" Sonic said "I mean Tails..uh ... Miles Prower" "Oh I have a descendent names Miles Prower in the future? Hmm must be an American" Sonic grabbed his head and yelled "ARRRG NOOOO!! SHUT UP !!! SHUT THE FOCK UP!!!! All you BOATHEADS need to stop makin a mess of the 'ol quantum synchronicity because all this time travel boogaloo makes the 'ol hedgehogs brain hurt!" "You FOOL!" declared Kilos "I have come here to put an end to the furry war before it even begins!" "man" said Sonic "Uh, Boat-Head, furries are doing fine 3000 years in the future so just fock off, okay?" "No" responded Kilos "Okay wefight then! YEAHAHHAH" SOnic screamed and then he turned into a blue ball they fly at each toher and BOOOMMITY BOOM CRASH ROOCKOOWW BEERZZZAPPOO PPINNG POOONNGG CNIAEHH FNNEERRRGG!!!! The crow watched in amazement and this incredible battle taking place in front of them. Sonic did a HEDGEHOG-RYo_KEN!!! YAAAABBOOOMM!! Kilos gets knocked around like a soggy sock! But the fox comes back with a 9-tailed SLAPPEROO! Right to sonics head! BIFF BIFF BIFF BIFF BIFF BIFF BIFF BIFF BIFF!! Meanwhile Greenday was watching this. Mike Dirt: Who is that blue blur? Tre Cool: He's moving faster than is even possible Billie Joe: Then wouldn't that make him... Mirke Dirnt: Most definitly some kind of a... ALL: WALKING CONTRADICTION! Green Day sings "Walking Contradiction" by Green Day. "OOHH YEEAHH!" hooted Sonic "This is deinfinately my peanut butter and JAM!! WAAAY PAST COOL!!" Sonic did flips in the air and spinned around ducking under Kilos' double dragon spinning kick. Sonic did an upward drill in the air knocking the fox into the dump set! KAABOOFF.. BOONG>> ... KRRISSH Kilos Prower had a drum on his head. SOnic grabs drum sticks and does a SOLO!!! The crowd cheers this. Sonic cranked up the amp to 11 (breaking the knob off because iamps only go to 10) and then stole the microphone and yelled "YOOOOUUU SUUUUCCCKKKK" The Soundwave blased the kitsune into a pile of audio junk! BZZERRKKKK! ZAP ZAP ZAP!!! Billie Joe said "Excusme me! Blue shark man!" "That's HEDGEHOG!" said Sonic then looking carefully "OH WOW!! IT'S HUMAN BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG!!" "The one and only!" he replied "What's your name sir?" "I' Sonic the Hedheog and I'm the FASTEST THING ALIVE!" Sonic announced Green Day huddles for a minute and then starts singing a brand new song that goes like this... ~ BLUE STREAK SPEEDS BY SONIC THE HEDGEHOG! ~ "Great tune I gotta rememeber it" Sonic said "WIsh I could stay and jam past cool, but I gotta juice and jam on that fox-butt" Sonic did a flying upward spindash hyperloop on Kiso Prower kocking him through the roof! Now they're fighting on the roof. ------------ THE ROOF The battle looked AWESOME as they fought under an October greenday moon. Sonic rollin around at the speed of sound...BUT.. THe sinister and mysterious KILOS PROWER had the same natural ability for Kung-Fu as Tails diid, Sonic noted. THe kitsune did kung-fu attacks! WIIEEEE SPAAK SPAKK!! Sonic oofed "HURF" a kick to the hedgehog potbelly. Sonic came bac k with spindash after spindash but Kilo Prower was FLYING FAST .. VRRROOMMMMMMM using all 9 tails then divebombs sonic with the JUMPKICK OF THE TRUE KITSUNE (in Jpanese: JUMPKIKKO KITSUNE DESSUUU) The evenly matched pair fought until finally with maximum effort Sonic spindashed him until he died. Sonic kicked him off the room with a mighty SONIC BOOT. *ppeeewww* *BLORP* he fell into a conviently placed TIME PORTAL?! SOnic "awww not again" ---------- SONIC SEES The Oracle again. The oracle removes his hood and... Sonic said "Ooohhh .." The Oracle was none other than SILVER THE HEDGEHOG!! ------------- ACT VII A Way past cool ending ------------- "Hello Sonic" he said "My name is Silver the Hedgehog. I am the time guardian from 9999 years in the future" "So that was .." Sonic said "Yes" relied Silved "I was guiding your quest for the Chaos Emeralds the whole time." "Woah so you have like mondo time powers...waaay cool" Sonic chilled "Now let's jam back to the future/past and fix everything before Naugus and Butt-bot-fat destroy everything. "It is not so easy Sonic!" warned Silver "I have made much effort to correct the timeline. But come with me I'll show you how me made a GOOD FUTURE" *FUTURE* DODODODDOODDODDOODODODODOODOLDODLDODOO (time travel sound) ------------ TIME WARP *whhhiizzzlleee* THey fly through time then sonic thinks..."OH NOOO!" SOnic screamed "Hey that Kilos Prower guy I killeed....he's....he's Tails ancestor isn't he??! T-T-T-.....TAAAAIILLSS!! is he okaay?!" "Sonic everything will be ok. I made the necessary time corrections and dumped his body back in his own time. loook" Silver pointed They see... A funeral sometime in the near-ish future from gonterman's/robotnik's time. [Funeral] Father Furry: We are gathered here to day to pay tribute to a great furry revolutionary. Sadly he died under mysterious circumstances by falling off a building we guess. He leaves behind his wife and 83 kitsune children. Kitsune foxes (having various numbers of tails): WAAAAAAAH! One kitsune wept "Awww fock! da'! Our da' is dead naaaaayy!!" Sonic: Heh...a little uncle bob [flashback to earlier] Kilos Prower: So you say in the future furries will lose the war to humans?! Shadowy figure: Yes..heh heh...I can help you go back in time to prevent this fate! *hands him a bio-gun* use this Kilos: and why should I trust you Shadowy: Because hehe...I'm from the future! Kilos *takes the gun* SOnic: whoa [speed forward in time] (scnes of furries fighting humans) news reporter: ... another human city falls to the furry menace... [waarrpp] Man: The humans must unite as one to save our species from a furry end! G.U.N. soliders: *salute* HOO-AH! Man: DEATH TO ALL FURRIES (soldiers are shooting furries) furries: arrggg *blam* *dies* NAUGUS flies in out of nowhere and starts shooting magic attacks at the humans! HE throws cars and buildings! Furry crowd: *chants* NAU-GUS! NAU-GUS! [time warp] (Naugus is talking to an army of furries) Naugus: We have won many victories but today we shall take back our holy land...the birth place of furries! (we see an army of furries lead by Naugus storming Disneyland) Humans: AARGRGGG *head impaled by bayonett* (some furries pull down the statue of Mickey Mouse) *KKEERRAAASHHH* (naugus is standing on top of the Disneyland castle. lighting bolts are shooting from his hands) Naugus: BWWEE HEE HEE HEE HAA HAA!! (in throne room) Naugus: Now I will lead us to a final victory against the humans! All humans must become furry or...heh....DIEE!!!!! [waarpp] humans citis are burning andfurrys laugh wickedly (radio chatter) NUKE BASE! This is NOT a drill! The president of G.U.N. has authorized a nuclear strike! GUN military guy: this is nuke base, confirm authorization Radio: Authorization code: 23 SKIDOO GUN military: Rodger dodger! Nukes away! yeeehaw (Nuclear missile are fired) (Naugus is flying in the air pitching the nukes back where they came from) BLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMM CCCCCOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAWWWWW KKKKAAAAAAAAAFLLLLOOOOMMMM (various nuclear explosions in an apocalyptic scene) SOnic and Silver were flying in space wathing. Sonic: Yo Silve, this doesn't seem like a very way past cool future... (a lot of the missiles are hitting one area) Sonic : Hey .... that's the Great Unknown! Silver: Yes, it's unexplored because furries kept dying from the radiation. And now you know. Sonic: Cool! [warp 200 years into the future] The disneyland castle is now a dark castle of evil surrounded by mountains. Naugus is there being worshipped by furries. Vixen girls fan him with palm tree leafs. Naugus: The time of humans is over because of me, the God-king Ixis Naugus! This planet will now be called...Mobius (Naugus has an emotional moment thinking of daddy Gerald Robotnik) Naugus: ALL heretics who do not worship the one true furry god will BURN!! BWa HA HA HA!!! (in space planet earth is dark because there's no electricity.) (zoom in) Various furries are fighting with medieval weapons. CLANG CLANG ARRRG (monsters like trolls and orcs attack) [999 years later] Sir Fastus the Hedgehog is on an important quest. He speeds way past fast to a ruined building. Inside a hologram appears Gerald Robotnik: i am so regretful for creating naugus. o what a fool i was...but there is a way to stop him.... Sir Fastus: YE GADS! IT ART A GHOST! The blue hedgehog knight picks up a STRANGE EGG. Gerald: Use this "Chao"...and (hidden door opens) (7 chaos emeralds) [whooosh] Sir Fastus rides to the small village "Hark I must seek the alchemist!" Sir Fastus: Alchemist, I haveth brought ye olde artifact from the ghosts castle Dr Echidna: urrrg tis not magick tis science me boy ... *cough* (he is very old) (Dr Echidna does experiments) [future] Sir Hedgehog fights into the Castle of Illusion and throws the Chao at Naugus Sir Fastus: WAY PAST THE CHILL OF A COLDE WINTER Naugus: What the?? ARRRGGG!!! *sizzile* (Naugus is melting as the Chao abosorbs him) Naugus: My magic... it's not working.....NoooOOO!!! But the Chao mutates into....a giant dragon...PERFECT CHAOS Sir Fastus: HARK I MUST FLEE [whoosh] Dr Echidna: *dying* ugghh i have reverse engineers the emeralds and this master chaos emerald can contain.. but not kill the CHAOS BEAST (in a huge battle Chaos is trapped inside the master emerald) Sir Fastus(hands the emeralds to the Echnida guardian): Thou art heir of the alchemist you must guard ye olde emeralds from ye forces of evile Echidna: You got it mon (Echnida island flots into the air from the emeralds unknown power) Ancient Echida Guardian: Woahh mon! Tikal: Eeep! [somewhere else, in a cave] Naugus: UURrgg! CURCE YOU CHAOS!! One day I sahll return!!!! [future!] They see a great war happening then Robotniks robots take over and pollution spoozing all over the planet. Furries getting robotizoid too, sonic says : "Yo future-hog this whole history is mondo whack. We gotta fix it, and fix it good, peanut butter and jam style! Capeesh?" "No Sonic it doesn't work like that if you change time then things happen fidderent and you don't exist and I don't exist and neither does..." Silver said They see tails in a field picking flowers for Aunt Sally "..your love Tails" Silver said. "TAAAILLS!" squeed Sonic "He's okay....HEY WAIT A SONIC SECOND! My uh..."love" woah woah woah woah waoh back up there KEN PENDERS!!" Silver ummed "Huh...well I just figured you guys were together all the time...you know...you've got that whole Furry Batman and Robin thing going on" Silver added on "And you only...um..do it...with Sally over Furry IRC" Sonic quickly answered "Hey...how did YOU know about that?" Silver sputtered "Er...I saw the...uh...movie" Sonic beamed "You saw the Sonic live-action movie? But it's not even out yet?!" "I'm from the future Sonic" "Oh yeah. " Sonic duhhd "But me an Sal don't use IRC anymore thats oldscool. We're on Furry Twitter now" "BUt it's still on a computer...so you see how people might get ideas about you and Tails.." Silver murmurred. "Hey bro" explained Sonic "Me an the ol' Tails are mondo good friends. Like mega-muck, know what im sayin? We ahng out together all the time, we watch TV and play video games. I taught Tails everything he knows about being a freedom fighter excet kung-fu. Tails is a super cool lil bro who follows me everywehre. When my hut got blow up by a SWAT missle he let me sleep in his bed with him.." "Huhuh bed-buddies" said Silver under his voice. "...and during the Knothole drought of 3664 we even showered together every day to save water" Sonic blabbered "Hmm you don't say..." hummed Silver *writes down 3664 AD on a piece of paper* "Heh sometimes Antoine was there too, that was one crazzy summer" Sonic chuckeld. "Antoine too?? HHHNNGRRFf" Silver grunted "We're just was past cool good buds." Sonic said "Trying to change somebody orientation for no reason is mondo uncool man. Ken Penders did it to Rotor and...he never really got over it.." Sonic emotionally said Silver nodded "Yeah, like if there was some guy who wore sparkly jewelry, and spent a lot of time styling his quills and had a theme song that sounded like dance music from a gay bar, you could might make that assumption. Not about Rotor though>" "Yeah" Sonic moeand "Ole Rote wasn't hooked up with anybody so some idiot writer just decided he was gay, and that's NO GOOD." "I can see how that would be extremely annoying" agreed Silver. --------- A TIME PORTAL "This is it. We're at your own time and everything looks more or less good enough" Silver said "So there's nothing we can change at all" Sonic sighed But Silver was already flying off "I've got important stuff to do Sonic. Jam past cool alligatior" "Wait!!" cried out Sonic. But Sivler was already gone into time/space.... "Peanut butter in a while crocodile..." sonic said *sonic catches a bag o' chaos emeralds that was thrown at him* Sonic grins excitedy "YEAH! Now it's SUPER SONIC JAM TIME!" WEAAEOOROOOPP!! *sonic disapperas through the portal* ---------- KNOTHOLE VILLAGE Big HUt The freedom fighters are all here listening to Tails story. Tails continued telling his story "...and we were all trying to use the same shower, but Antoine kept droppin the ol' soap!" "Oui oui" interjected Antoine "I 'ave fingers de buerre! hon-hon-hon-hon-hon! sacre blue sheeeez" Everybody laughed. Including Bunnie "A HYUCK HYUCK!" DAVEY KINS KINTOBOR AND JOHNY BRIZ CRASH THROUGH THE WALL AT THAT MONET BECAUSE THEY WERE EJECTED FROM THE TIME PORTAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SNOORK!!!! GUUAmM!!! SNNEERRRSSHHHH!!! "ACCHH!" said, obviously , Uncle Bob "Cannae ye not use thae fockin door man!!!!!" "Yeah really" said Rotor. sally greeted them "Hi Davey-Wavey-Kinsy-Winsy and ...." "WHO >.. THAE FOCK IS THA????!" uncle bob choked. "Ha-ha I'm Johnny Briz ha-ha! " said Johnny Briz "He's from my time and .. WHO THE PHRACK ARE THESE NEW PFURS?!??" WHAAT?!? WHAAATT!!??" Davey Kins SCREAMED !! He saw 2 new furrys, an older rabbit and a girl cave badger. "Uh....new? We don't have any new characters that I'm aware of" uhh'd Sally "ha-ha Davey ha-ha..." Johny Briz whispered "This is the Blast to the Past effect. ha-ha. When you go back in time sometimes subtle changes cause new peole to show up but they've always been there" Davey said "Oh yeah like Rosie" (authors note: Rose is a satam character who was in the time travel episode but was never heard from again) Tails said "Roosie? Yeah aunt Rosie made a way past cool dinner for us!" "Mmm-hmmm" said Rabbit Rabbot "There is alotta foods what she dun made mm-hmm.. Some of em is veggabulls and some of em is potaters. mmm-hmm. Some of em is biccits and some em is gray-vuh. mmm-hmmmm!" "Well hot dang pa you shore is hongry" Bunnie mentioned "Ah reckon mmhmm" said Rabbit Sticks (the badger) nattered "Blast to the past effect?! I heard about this!! You all gotta watch this important video from furry infowars!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!" Rotor mutterd "Jesus Sticks, it's 5 hours long" [On Screen] Furry Alex Jones: Time Travel is it real we'll find out in today's episode !! but people what i have to tell you right now is you have to buy these FILTERS because CHAOS is in the water supply, you may be drinking an ancient demon god?! Whats Pirncess Sally doing about this?!? Princess Sally got in front of the Tv "Yeah we already know about the time travel etc, we just gotta roll with it" Stick chattered "They've never seen me before! We're in an alternate paralell universe! AAAAAHHH" Rabbit Rabbot introducted her "This here is Steeick...she call dat because she throw dem thar sling sticks mmm-hmmm...some folks call it a boomarang i call it a sling stick...its shaped kinda like a bonanner..mmm-hmmm" Sonia hedgehog runs up and jumps (human) David Kintobor "Daveyyy!" she yells! They embrase and kiss ROMANTICALLY!!! "Ewww yukkk!" Tails immaturely said :but,,,," Davey wondered WHERE WAS SONIC?!?! ------------------------ KNOTHOLE VILLAGE THE NEXT DAY DAVID KINTOBORS HUSE Johnny Brizx wals in. "Ha-ha" chittered Johnny "What's -ha-ha up Davey-Kins? Haha" "Oh golly gouda! ha-ha!" Johnny spit in shock "You're....a furry again!" "That's raght Johnny" said the fox once again Diavid Kintobor "Oohh ha-ha" Johny yarbled "You and Sonia didn't waste any time h-a-ha!" Kintobor sheepshly grinned "nnnnope! huh huH!" WWWWAAAAAAAMMNNNNBOONNNKKKKK WWWHHHHHOOOOOOOOSHHHHHH A PORTAL SUDDENLY OPENED OUT OF NOWHERE!!!!! Silver the Hedgehog steps out. "Huh?! Silvere? " Davey asked "What are you dong here? I thought we fixed tha time line" "No David there's still one more thing...it's...yor father" Silver dramatically said. "Robotnik...? NO!" Davey said "Sigh,,,,I must face him again...one last time it seem!" Davey goes into the portal carrying his sawerd off shotgun. Silver is about to go in when he looks at Johnny Briz. "Hubba hubba!" thinks Silver "Hey Chuck E Cheese, you wanna play skeetball?" Silver seductively said. "Hmph!" Johnny huffed, crossing his arms "Don't get fresh, ha-ha!" ---------- *PAST* A FURRY CONVENTION Daivd kintobor fell out of the time portal into an auditorium. THre were many furrys and humans there, gathered around the stage. DAvey watched from the balcony and saw...a 9-tailed Kitsune on stage! "My fellow furrie we have come a long way" said the Kitsune "As you know in my former life I was a human known as Jørg Børgenbürger. But I always felt like I was a kitsune from Japanese mythology trapped in a man's body. When I saw we were able to create hybrid-animals, I knew my dream was possible" He continued "After I inherited my fatheres genetics company I changed their focus to furry research, and I became the first human to transition into a furry. I stand before you as my true fursona KILOS PROWER. (get it, Kilos per Hour.. HA HA!!)" The crowd cheered. "yyaaah clap clap! " Kilos continued speakeing "But as you are aware the process to become furry is very complicated and expensive. But the right to be your furry self must not be limited to the privileged!! " The crowed roared "YEEAAAHH!! WOO HOOO!" Some uglier first-generation furries were there too they grunted "OORRGHhh! HURKKk! YAYhhh" Kilos said "Today we take the first step to becoming the beutiful furry creatures we were meant to be! Furries are not meant to be some kind of work-animal! We will stand with our furry brothers as equals and overthrow the H-yeewwww-man's tyranny!!" The crowed cheeded harder "YAAAAAHHHH" Kilos held up a vial of bio goop "This my friends is the "Furry Virus". We've developed a method to transform any human into a furry without surgery. After being injected within a few years you will turn into the furry animal of your choosing." *CLICK* went a sniper rifle. Davey looked and saw a younger Dr Robotnik with his sniper rifle aimed at the furry. "Dad!" Davey quietly yelled "What are you doing?" Robotnik sweatted "D-..Davey-kins? You're alive...urff...no time..I have to finish this...he told me this is where we can stop the furries, and save the human race!!" Davey said "NO DAD, it's a trick by Ken Penders" Robotnik looked at him and saw...a red fox FURRY?? Robotnik said "W...where's my son?!" Then he pointed the gun at the furry David and screamed "FOCK YOU FURRY!!!!!" The next few events went in slow motion. Robotnik shot a bullet but Divid Kintobor barely dodged it "WOOOOAaAAaHHH" Then he punched Robotnik with his metal arm KLLLOONNNKKK "SPpLLUUURRGhHHHH!!" coughed Robotnik Blood went everywhere and Robotnik tipped backwards over the balcony like a fat egg. Robotnik screamed "NnnnnnOOOOooooooOOOoooOOOOooOOOooo" He landed straight down on his head, crushing it *SSSQQEEEEESSSHHHH* "ASSASSSINNN!" screamed Kilos Prower pointeng at david. The furry conventioners started shooting at hims with guns. Silver appeared "Come on Davey time to leave" David jumped into the time portal. -------- *FUTURE* DAVEYS HUT David Kintobor and Silver exit the tiem poral. David distraughtly said "What did I do.... dad ... nO!" Silver said "You're right, Ken Penders sent him there to change quantum events. That was the last thing we needed to fix." David said "So he's dead...?" Silve replied "No...he was taken to the hospital and doctors were able to save his life by giving him a metal head." "Mah gawd" said David "What if...that fall did somethin' to his brain and made him evil?? Ah mean...he was only tryin to save the humans...." THen Davey angrily looked at Silver "YOU!! You waited until I was a furry again! You knew that was gonna happen!!" "Yes" saId Silver " I have to preserve my own existince and cannot modify time for nothing bad to happen ever you know" Silver disappered into the prtal again as Davey screamed "FOCK YOU SILVER!!! PHRACKER!!! ARRRGGG!!" -------- KNOTHOLE THE MEETING ROOM HUT David Kintobor explained his story to knothole's FF's. They were very sad. "So 'yall see, that was the third time i killed mah own father" Davey sadly said "I makes me think..if I was the one who turned Robotnik evil by crushing his brain...doesn't that make me a...." Johnny Briz played a sad song on the piano. Davey-kins quietly said "....a walking contradiction...". Then he sings a very somber cover of Walking Contradiction by Green Day. The furries cried at the song. Antoinne sobbed "Zat...ees thee saddest song i 'ave ever 'eard.... LE BOO HOOO!!" Everybody was crying now except Bookshire who said "THat song was alright but, you need to stop playing cover song all the time and come up with your own songs. Your band is really good!" Davey looked at Johnny briz "Ha-ha that's a good idea!" said Johny Briz ---------- A FEW WEEKS LATER TAILS HUT Tails and Bunnie and friends are watching Furry South Park [On TV] The furry south park kids are standing outside the movie theater , there's a poster for Sonic The Hedgehog: The Movie. Furry Butters: I heard that Tails has 2 weiners! Furry Stan: No way butters that's stupid Furry Butters: It's true, why else would all those people on the furry internet draw him like that Furry stan: Why are you looking for naked Tails pictures? Dude that's gay Furry Butters: nuh-unh, only Ken Penders can make people gay (Cartman the Bear walks into the scene) Cartman the Bear: What's really important is that humans have their own minority species who cause all the problems. Just like we have those no-good owls. Furry Kyle: Shutup Cartman you fat Robotnik!! Cartman the Bear: AY!! Don't call me a Robotnik you goddamn furry jew!!! [Off TV] Tails said "Cool! I got mentioned on Furry South Park!" Bunnie remarked "we all is purdy famous" [On TV] Dulcy flies in Dulcy: DUDUHHUHHUhHH ME NO DO HOMEWORK MAW MAW dUUURHHHhhHH HUURRF (Everybody jumps out of the way as Dulcy crash lands on Kenny the Rabbit squishing him to death, his blood and guts fly everywhere) Silver the Hedgehog: IT'S NO USE!!! [Off TV] Bunnie slappin' her knee and laughs "A HYUCK HYUCK HYCUK HYCK!!!" Dalcy yells "HEY!! I'm not like that!!!" Suddenly.... BAAAWOOOOOSSSSHHH!!!! "SONIC?!?!" everybody yells. THey run outside. ------------- KNOTHOLE OUTSIDE THE HUT Everybody ran outside and then... A HUGE FLASH OF LIGHT APPEARED IN THE SKY!!!! It was so big everybody on Mobius could see it. BUt Sonic wasn't there "Aw" said Tails. ------------ MEANWHILE AT A DIFFERENT LOCATION [On Furry South Park] A fat naked Robotnik is lying on the bed drinking a huge tub of gravy and bacon ROBOTNIK: GLUURPP...GLLOORGG SWAT BOTS: CHUG.....CHUG......CHUG (Furry Stan is watching this on TV) (Furry Randy Marsh walks in) Furry Randy Marsh: Stan why are you watching fat human porn? Furry Stan: It's not porn dad, it's The Robotnik Show. It's the most popular TV show on Mobius right now. [On TV] ROBOTNIK: UUurghghh.....*BUURRRRPPP*...and now...hhuuURG...*pant* *pant* *wheeeze* SNIVELY!! and...*BURP* ... the SWAT BOT ORCHESTA!! SWAT BOTS: WOO......HOO..........DRROOONNEE>>.....YEAAAAH Snivley wails on the sax and they play Chemical Plant Zone Furry Randy Marsh: This show is really good! ------------ FURRY MCDONALLDS Robotnik and Snively are here and Furry South Park is on TV. Robotnik yells "I got mentioned on Furry South Park! cool!!" Robotnik was jamming cheezburgers into his mouth. His tray had a few hundred burgers on it. Snively is eating a happy meal and playing with the My little Pony toy. Robotnik mentions "Hey Snivley did I ever tell you I got kicked in the head by a horse? I had to get a metal head replacement and I couldn't remember a lot of stuff. They still let me fly the space rocket though, pretty neat huh??" Snively snivels "Yes sir very good sir" Then he says "Um sir...are you certain that eating 100 McDonalds cheezburgers is the best course of action?" Robotnik flabbered "Of course! *munch munch* or are you saying we need to step up our burger game? Great idea Snively! Next week we'll get cheezburgers from In N Out!" "Huhuh huhuhhu huhhuh" laughed Grounder "He said "In N Out" uhuhuh! huhuh! huhuhuhuhh!" "HEHHE HEHEHNEHheHn HEH yeah!" cackled Scratch "oh god" whined Snively "Did you have to rebuild them sir? Didn't you develop a super advanced AI for commander Packbell? "Yeah! But his AI is so advanced that I am afraid of him now!" Robotnik foreshadowed. [On TV[] This Saturday at the Knothole Dome! THE GONTER MEN! Live!! (David Kintobor, Johnny Briz, Chris Petrucci and Sandra Nightweaver are on stage) Playing their platinum smash hit debut rock opera "Blood & Metal"!! (acoustic guitar) David Kintobor: It was just a typical day in St Louis. Until I got my arm shot off and I met a squirrel king from another dimension. Or so I believed. (cut to the band rockin) David Kintobor wears sunglasses and sings: ~~ ..I need a man to deliver this message it's contents are vital He has every Sonic game he can beat them all!! That Davey-kins sure plays a mean Sonic Spinball!! ~~ Next song clip David Kintobor sings: I shot the Robotnik! But I did not shoot the Sni-velly. THE GONTERMEN!! Tickets are on sale NOW!!! (off TV) Robotnik yelled thru cheezburger "That gives me an idea!! MWA HA HA HA HA!!!!" ---------- The Knothole DOME A huge stadium made of wood & leaves. The Gontermen are rockin hard jams, but then, Robotniks Hover Unit crashes through the rooF! **KKEEERRSPPLAAMMOOO* All the furrys yell "AAAHHHH!" BOOM BOOM BOMM! Robotnik's heavily steps out of the hoverunit followed by Snively. He grabs the mic from Davey-kins and stares him down! Then he says "Sniveley, tell me something?" Snively says "Ahh...what would that be .. ahh ..sir?" Robotnik asks "Do you like good music?" Snively answeres "good music sir...ah..well....ah...it depends...ahh" Robotnik shouts at the top of his voice! "JUST SAY YES!!!!!!!!!" Snively says "Eeee ahh ooh ooh no aahah er aahH! oh no sir aahh er ahh! eeeep! umm err...YES!" Robotnik sings "Do you like good music? Do you like to dance...oh yeah" Snivley is playing a funky guitar riff. A sweaty Robotnik takes off his shirt and thows it into the crowd. Robotnik sings "Flesh for Fantasy" by Billy Idol The furrys look a bit nervous at first but Robotniks cover is really good. Chris Petrucci joins in with the wristwatch and the furry crowd cheers. The furry crowd is dancing and having a good time. Rotor dances with Lupe, it gets hot n' spicy!! After the song Robotnik is really fat an sweaty, the crowd cheers extrememly loud!! "YAAAH WOOHOOO !!! GO EGGMAN! GO EGGMAN!!! ENCORE ENCORE!!! BROVO!!!" "I know that guy!" yells Billy Idol. Robotnik is about to leave then....Sniveley plays a PHAT bass line. Robotnik dances around and sings "FAT" by Weird Al Yonkobvick. "I'M FAT! I'M FAT!!! *urrrrghhh* YA KNOW IT!" The furry crowd goes CRRAAAZZZYY!!! After the sng everybody is clapping furry throw roses at Eggman as he bows. ====WARNING!! If you are offended by Rotor x Lupe shipping you should not read this next pasrt!!!===== Lupe grabs Rotor as is passonatiley making out with him!!!! Rotor says "Yo lupe, wanna come to my storage closet" They run off holding hands =====((ok haters you can look now ;) )=========== Ro-becca runs on stage and grabs Robotnik and drones "Hey there big-boy, you wanna have cybersex?" Robotnik grins "heh heh!" "Gross" said the cameraman. Finally a very soggy Robotnik goes back into the Hoverunit. He shouts "And now back to being evil! HA HA HA HA HA!!!" The hoverunit takes off and a NUKE drops out!! HOONNNKK!! The nuke explodes into confetti and Robotnik yells "Happy borthday son!!!" David Kintobor looks into the fake nuke and pulls out.... A TANKbot plushie Davey says "Even though you're evil...thanks dad" -------------- OUTSIDE After the concert Grounder and Scratch are sneaking around Knothole Village. Scratch heh'd "Heheh eHEH umm...are we supposed to like...umm..heheh...kill people or something?" Grouder huh'd "Noo buttwad! huhuh huh huh! We have to like...uh huhuh ...steal a blue apple" Scratch replied "HEHH HEH HEHNHEHh but...HEH HEH..apples are red .. hehehnheh" Grounder huh'd "Huhuh huhuhh uhhuhuh oh yeah" Amy Rose was sitting on a log crying. Amy wept "Ooooh Sonic! When are you coming back!! I need you!! WAAAAH" Grounder sees this and a burnt out lightbulb appears over his head. He laughs "huhuh huhuhhhuuh huhuhh" ------ KNOTHOLE Amy is still crying but Grounder and Scatch come over. Grounder is wearing blue paper spikes. Grounder says "Huhuh uhhh...hey baby. huhuhh. I'm like...Sonic..or something..huhuhhuhuh" Scratch has 2 orange socks nailed to his head "HehEHH um hi...I'm Tails HEHEhen N HEH!" Grounder huh's "You wanna.....uh...uhuhu uhhHUHUH HUHUH...do it .. HHUH!! HHUH!! HUHUHHH!!!" Amy sighs "Well....close enough." Scratch says "WOAH!! HEHeHEhEHNHEN!! SCORE!! HEHnEHEn" Grounder says to Scratch "HUhhhuh umm...are we like....fully functional? huHUH huhUHh" Scratch thinks and answerred "HehehH yeah! HEhHEH remember that time when we were driving the zamboni?! HEheheh and I kicked you in the nads?!" Grounder says "Yeah....huhuhhhu...butt-ass...huhuhuh" Grounder looks down "Uhhh...huhuh...um....where's my thingy?" Scratch says "Umm..HEHEH hEHh HEH N hEHehn....I dunno" Grounder looks around "Uuuhh...huhuhu huhuh..." Scratch helpfully says "HehehEH heHEHh HEH maybe it's in your butt! hEHEh HEH!" Grounder says "Uhhh huhUHUH ... what's a robot butt?" Scratch says " Ummmm...HEH hHEHE HEH...HEH...umm...did you check... HEH...the rear exhaust port.. HEHEHEh" Grounder huh's "Uh huh huh...you said "rear exhaust port" HUH! HUHUHUhUHUH! HUHUHUHhuH!" Scratch laughs " HEHehEHehne hENEHEnHEnEHENHE "port" HEhehEHhe" Amy bashes them both to death with her PIKO PIKO HAMMER!!! HHOOONKAAABOOMITYBLAMMOOO!!! Grounder and Scratch are dead again. "HeHEHeH" said Scratch "This sucks! HEhehHEhehe!" BANNNNGG Amy hit them again. "Nice try stupid robots" said Amy "But Sonic calls it a chilidog, not a thingy!" Silver was watching this whole scene take place. A light bulb appears over Silver's head Silver laughs "Huhuh ! huhuhhh huhuhuhhuh" --------- A FEW DAYS LATER TAILS HUT Tails is taking a shower. *knock knock* Tails says "whaaaaaat" Someobdy at the door yells "Yo yo Tails It's me sonic ! Gotta help me out in a sonic second bro!" Tails called "Sonic! You're back! I'll be out in a minute" Sonic said "No lil bro! I smell like a mondo nasty chilidog and I need to take a shower! My hot water's not working" Tails said "Ok sonic I'm almost done" Sonic impatiently said "No no bro ...I gotta go fast! I'm sooo bored ..man..I'm already lookin at my watch it's takin so long!" Tails says "Fine Sonic, come on in" A blue hedgehog runs in. Tails says "Woah Sonic, you do something to your quills?" "Uhh yeah" said "Sonic" "You like the new hedgehog do?" "Way past Sonic, it's looks real fancy." *knock knock* "HUH!?" gasped "Sonic" "Who could that be?" "Allo!" said Antoine "Monsiur Tails I am so sorry to be bothering you but my chaud water ees not working! I am needing une shower so i do not being a smelly Frenchman hon hon hon!" "Sonic" yelled "Yo come on in ant, my water's on the ol' fritz again too" *he hides a hacksaw behind his back* All 3 go in the shower. "Just like ol times, right guys" said "SONIC". "Yeah" said Tails "The ol' summer of '64" "Oui oui!" Frenched Antoine "Je am being careful to 'old on to le soap thees time ! hon hon" "Sonic" yerfs "Oh yeah!! Yiffy!" Tails and Antoine look at him weirdly Sonic nervously says "uhh...yiffy spiffy ...wet n' slippy ..dippy skippy..skippy brand peanut butter..juice and ...let's jam butts! AYO!" Tails paused for moment then said "Woah Sonic! That was WAY PAST COOL!" Antoinne le said "Oui, I am 'aving to agree, zat was ze best one yet Sonique" "Sonic" waggled his eyebrows to the camera "Hahaha I got the soap ! Nobodys gonna take it from me cuz i'm too fast for the naked guy...I mean..eye" Tails giglled "I'm gonna grab ya Sonic!" Antoines joked "I will taking you down arrogant rogue! en garde!" EVEYRBODY LAUGHED!! --------------- A WHILE LATER Antoine said "Well...zat certainly was eenteresting...to say ze least...hmm" Tails asked Sonic "Hey Sonic, so now that you're back are you gonna teach me how to talk to girls?" "Sonic" said "What the hell would I know about that little buddy?" Tails laughed "Duh! 'Member sonic, you said you were gonna teach me your super-sonic romancing skills. I gotta learn how to put the moves on Sticks!" "Yeeahh gotta juice and stuff " said "Sonic" but... "hey ... you're not.." said Tails Blue paint was in a puddle on the floor. Silver was standing there. "You're Silver!" said Tails "Awww.." mumbled Silver "It's no use..." "Ahh" said Antoine "Zae ees what I was expecting actually....le sigh.." Silver said "What ever dudes. That's how I roll. Sorry not sorry". "Um meester Silver " said Antoine, Frenchly "Your antics around ze village lately are become..um....'ow you say...un peu...problematique?" "Oooh la la well pardon-ay-moi" sarcasted Silver "I'll just reverse the polarity on my gaydar, all ya had to do was ask, KEN PENDERS" "Now now zere is no need for le name-calling" Antoine said "I just am sayinh, 'ave you considred maybe, settling down with someone? instead of ze one night stands and..er..le droll pranks?" "NO! " blurted Silver "That romance mushy stuff just isn't for me!" "yeah!" said Tails "mushy stuff sucks! Skip the flowers and kissin and get to the yiffin!" Silver heh-heh'd "Words of wisdom to live by from the kung-fu master" Antoine sighed "Oooh pleeze, you are telling me you 'ave never met even one speecial someone? mon dieu" Silver frowned and said "There was one...but I don't like to talk about it.." "C'mon" egged on Tails "OK!" said Silver and told the story (in a flashback). -------------- LITTLE PLANET Silver was on the mission to little planet and saw: A skunk following him around and hearts were shooting out of his head. But Metal Sonic busted through a wall of spikes! The skunk hugged Silver and Silver teleported to the future!! [5 years later] SILVER'S TIME CASTLE 13666 AD Silver was having a romantic evening with....GEOFFREY ST JOHN!??! "Happy anniversary luv" said Geoffrey. *CLIINNKKKK* went the champagne glassses. Silver drank the stuff. But Geoffrey was looking out the window. "Hey Geoff" said Silver "Aren't you gonna drink that? It Mountain Due Gamer Fuel, you can only get it from certain time perioids" Geoff started out the window and said "Do you ever think...space...is a lot like Mobius sometimes?" Silver wlooked at him funny "Uhh...Mobius is a vacuum that goes to infinity?" Geoffy philosphilized "Theres so many stars..just like theres so many possibilities if you can travel in time..." Silver barked "Hey man you know you can't fock around with time, I'm only supposed to use time trvfel to protect the time continuunum" Geoff smiled sinisterly "Suppose I didn't want to just live in the same old castle...but instead be a real prince....with a beautiful princess" Silver guh'd "Huh dude what?" The Silver was feeling weird "uurrggg" Geoffry evilly said "Sweet dreams buffoon. I'm off to get married to PRINCESS SALLY ACORN!!! FA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!" Silver was blacking out "UrrggG!! No....the DuE!!! It's...no...use!!!" ------- [flashback over] Silver sadly said "He knocked me out with the poision mountain due...and stole my other time travel device." Antoinne meeped "Zat story...ees so sad!! *SNIFF*" Tailes ewwed "You kissed Geoffrey St. John? GROSS!" "Yeah not something i'm proud of" Silver explained "He was actually a cool guy before he kept trying to steal Sonic's girlfriend." "But" said Tails "What was Geoffrey doing on Little Planet?" "I've got my theories..." Silver said . They went to another flashback "WHEEEE" said Antoine ------------ THE SECRET ORIGIN OF KEN PENDERS 1967 Ad Ken Penders was tending to his echidna farm when suddenly!! A man from the future jumped out of nowhere!!" "huh!" said Ken "It's me Ken! I'm future Ken Penders!" said the old man "No dice, cat" said original Ken "If you're me then where's my trademark moustache?" "I shave it off stupid RARGG" said old Ken "Listen to me Ken, did you ever think of doing something else besides being a simple echdnia farmer?" "Naw..."said young Ken "Well except maybe being an artist. I hope to make enough money from my farm to go to art school" "Oh yeah well I've got something better hee hee" said old Ken. "What about...being a super cool furry animal?" "Like a echidna?" duhhh'd young Ken "No, the coolest cartoon animal you could think of" said Old Ken. Then he said right away "A skunk who's like Pepe Le Pew but not French." You Ken shockedly said "How did you know...? WOW you are me from the future!" Old Ken gives him a box of stuff with furry virus + antidotes. Old Ken guffawed sinisterly "Ha ha..take this and you will become a beloved furry prince one day! Theres just one more thing..." "What????" said young Ken "You must acquire the time travel device..." Old Ken said "You'll need to hook up with a hedgehog guy. And gain his trust....through....uh....sex" "Woah daddy-o!" blurted Ken "I don't swing that way you dig, man!?" "Don't worry I got this" said old Ken "I have the power to change peoples sexual orientations!" Young Ken said "No way man!" Old Ken assuredly said "No it's real, watch this" Old ken waved his hand and chanted "I thought it was fairly obvious that Ken Penders was gaaayy...unntilll..he steals the time travel thing and then he has to change back so he can marry the beautufel princess Sally....wooooh" Young Ken said "Far out man! It worked!" Old Ken spoke "Remember, you have to come back here in the future when you're me or none of this will happen." "Otay" said young Ken "But what about art school" "Nah who needs it, we're already awesome at drawing" said Old Ken Both Kens laugh extremely evilly "MWWAH HA HA HA HAH HA!! YOU ARE MINE PRINCESS SALLY!!!" (we see scenes of Ken Penders being evil) (Ken Penders cuts Sally's rope when she's climbing up a building making her fall to her death (but not really)) (Ken penders is in the Knothole clock tower shooting at the freedom fighters) (Geoggery St. John is planning to kill Sonic while he's watching TV but Tails shoots him (Geoff) in the head for no reason) (In Riverdale, Ken Penders is on a shooting rampage in the Archie comics bulding. Jughead gets shot and drops his sandwich. CEO Hiram Lodge says "nooo you maniac!!" then dies from a bullet.) (Ken Penders yells SUPER GENESIS WAVE!!! ass the universe is destroyed again) ------------- KNOTHOLE HUTT "ever since then I've been fighting Ken to protect time and space" Silver said "So after I got dumped by my first boyfriend because he was an evil timelord, I haven't been in to steady relationships, y'knowwhatimsayin?" Tails yerfed "Erf! But if Ken Penders helped his past self get the time travel deivce in the first place, wouldn't that be a..." Sailed cut him off "A Walking Contradiction by Greenday. Yeah we already did it twice in the story already." "Aww" merfed Tails "Zo" oui'd Antoine "Monsur Pendes is le dead now, le right?" "He should be dead for a while anyway" Silver replyed "Oh crap....I forgot to tell Sonic that Ken Penders is evil!!!" "Ha ha!" laughed Tails "Sonic already knows Ken is evil because he was always try'na kill Sally!" "I hope you're right T-2" said Silver "Because Ken Penders might try to trick Sonic....but how??" "Sonic..." Tails greived "When's Sonic comin' back...?" Silver said "Don't worry, he'll be back soon (i hope!)" ------------ LAST MONTH ROBOTOPOLIS RUINS Sonic was flying into Robotropolis with the chaos emeralds!! He was SUPER SONIC!!!! He yelled "Fight me Packbell!!" Ultimate Packbell stepped out. "You see my upgrade ?! I am now ULTIMATE PARKBELL!!! Now one can stop me!!" Sonic BLASTED HIM with CHAOS CONTROL LASER BLAST!! ButPackbell blasted back with chaos energy (he used a chaos lazer made from chunks of the master emerald that broke off during the fight with Chaos) POWW!! ZAPP!! BANGG!! BOOOOM!!! KABLAMO!!! And nobody saw Sonic for 10 YEARS!!!!! -------- THE END --------