ACT 666 The Evil of Ken Penders TIME PORTAL EXIT Sonic WOOOAAAHHHHHWAHWAH *SPLAAT* Sonic laned in an unknown city. He looks around and sees ... HUMANS EVERYWHERE?! "WHat the CHILIDOOOGGG" Sonic went "humans...did I juicy jam mondo way back in time?!?!?" A sign says "St. Louis Missorri" Sonic reads it "Hey...Davey-kins Kintorbor told me about this place..it's the city he lived in before he came to Knothole" Then he sees....THE ORACLE! "Soooooonicccc" groant the Oracle. He pointed to a poster. It says GREEN DAY CONCERNT St Louis Megadome! Oracle threw Sonic a cell phone. The date matches the one on the poster. "Woah" said SOnic "It's today. Must be mondo important I better jam there!" The Oracle diappeared! "HUH!??!" Sonic said "Where'd he go??!" Then he saw another poster that said "FOXFIRE STUDIOS OF ST LOUIS" "Davey-kins!" sonic Elated "Time to juice and jam to the ol' foxfire studios! I always wanted to see that place!" ----------- FOXFIRE STUDIOS David KIntobor was drawing a comic. "The Ballad of Johnny Briz". A mouse named Johnny Brix was there too playing some video games. DING DONG! David answered the door and saw "OH MAH PHRACKIN GAWWD> Bah Destiny (authors note: Mobius diety) Sonic's back after all this time!!" "Ha-ha! Sonic, oww I heard all about your adventures on Mobius when Davey Kins contacted me throught the dimensional portal during the events of Blood & Metal ha-ha!" explained Johnny Briz "The names Johnny Briz ha-ha" sad Johhny "I'm like a badass Mickey Mouse ha ha! Because foxfire studios is DISNEY MAGIC , FOX ATTITUDE! ha-ha!" "CoooooL" said Sonic "BUt wait?! DAVID KINTOBOR IS HUMAN NOW?!" "Yeah" David sighed "I had tuh use the dose of Furry anti-virus on muhself...cuz humans in my time will never be accepting of a furry." "Yeah ha-ha tell me about it!" Johnny Briz said "Everybody calls me a mascot, but i'm a REAL MOUSE ha-ha." "That sucks, they hate furries fo no reason? Man what a bunch of Rubbutniks!" Sonic scolded "Naw Sonic" said Davey "Lots of people are furries too, they wear costumes and everything> Not everybodys a bigot" "Thats nice but we gotta jam likee jelly on a ham because something is going down on the Greenday concert today?!" Sonic yelled "Whats happening?" asked Davey "I dunno but THE ORACLE TOLD ME!!" Sonic screamed "The Oracle?!" blurted David "Must be important! peanut butter and jam time!" "Jeah!" exclaimed SOnic. David and Johnny climed into Sonics backpack and they run off!! --------------------- GREENDAY CONCERT Sonic looks at the stage, Greenday looks different to him. "Woah!!" sonic confusedly said "It's a ... HUMAN Green Day!" "Yeah Sonic in my time Greenday is humans but they still rock like the furry version" answered David. Johnny Briz was wearing his magician's costme, he's ready for a fight. (Johnny Briz has magic powers). For a while nothing happens then A POTRAL APPEARS OUT OF NOTHWERE!!! Everybody screams and tires to run away! It's chaotic! Then a kitsune (fox) with 9 TAILS steps out of the portal. He's carrying a giant cannon gun. "Who the PHRACK.." asked Davey "Huh? A Tails?!" Sonic bemusedly said The 9-Tails Kitsume loudly announced "Helloooooo Hyeeewwwmans! My name is KILOS PROWER!! And I have come to bring FURRY JUSTICE!! " He pointed his cannon at the crod and started spraying them with some kind of bio-goo. "AAAH HA HA HA HA!!! " howled the mysterious Kitsune. "Yo unknown Tails relativew!" sonic shouted "I'm gonna jam your 9-tail butt back to your own dimension!!" Sonic ran up to the stage like a MEGA DASH!" David shot the shot gun and Johnny Briz threw magic cards! But then all 3 got sucked into the portal!! ZZZWOOOOOPPP ----------------- ST LOUIS MISSUORI ALTERNATE TIMELINE David and Johnny briz yelled woah and flew out of the dimension portal and splatted on the ground. "This is happening a lot lately" David mentioned They looked around and saw the city was in ruins! In the center of the city was a dark tower made of comic books. They saw furries wandering the streets. But these furries were all SUPER UGLY, DISGUSTING echidna abombinationS! "Uuugg it hurtz too liivveee" moaned an gross pink echidna in a weird bathing suit. Then they saw what looked like black guys in space suits flying around. One was carrying a person. "NOOO AHH dont turn me into that AAAHH!" screamed the person. A monolithic billboard caught their attention ... it says "KEN PENDERS IS A GOOD ARTIST SO NO BAD COMMENTS PLEASE" "KEN....PHRACKIN...PENDERS!!! " DAvey grrred' through his clenched teeth! JOhnny Briz pulled out his Desert Eagle and put on sunglasses . He said 'It's time to kick phrackin ass and eat chees. And Johnny Briz is all out of cheese ha-ha!" "I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS BITCH" said a super cool voice from behind them. Duke Nukem was shooting the crap outa all the echnida things. "Ohh ha-ha sorry Duke! I didn't know you were there!" Johnny Briz said. "DAMN THAT WAS ANNOYING" said Duke "WHAT THE HELL KIND OF ALIEN BASTARDS ARE THESE!?" "They're not aliens" said Davey "I think they're people who have been mutated into echidnas" Duke spouted "ECHIDNA'S ...YOUR ASS....WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE" "Ken Penders " said Devey furiously "Firs t you try to kill Sally now this. Time to finish what I started with the Sally Revenge comic" He loaded his sawed off SHOT GUN. "KEN PENDERS YOU SON OF A BITCH" Duke dukely said "YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR TURNING OUR BABES INTO UGLY FURRY MONSTERS" "ITS TIME TO KICK ASS" "PHrackin A Duke" Davey said. "Let's VOTE NO on KEN PENDERS" ------------ A DIFFERENT ITME AND PLACE OUTSIDE A HOUSE SOMWHERE Sonic ended up here on the grounds of a huge mansion. THe oracle wasthere too. "Sooonniiiccc" groaned teh Oracle. "YO ORACLE DUDE!" sonic yelled angrily "Stop teleportin my butt all over the place with no explaination!!!" The oracle continued "Sooooonic....an EVIL POWER is manipulating time and space...you must stop it here!" "STOP WHAT ?!? " sonic blew out his voice screaming. Oracle pointed to the bushes. Sonic saw a metal monkey tail sticking out.. "Coconuts?!" sonic yelled. The oracle diassappeared again. "What the fockin chilidogs stop doing that!! ARRG!"" Sonic screamed at the air. --------- BEHIND A BUSH Coconuts spotted sonic "Ook eek, Sonic Priority 1. HEH EH time to diee!" Then he saw Grounder and Scratch too, but they looked shiny. "They blew up! Whats going on" processed coconuts in his computer brain. "DUUUUH WHO is dat!" drilled Grounder, dumbly. "HA HA HA HAAAAAA! I do not know!" Scratch laughed like an idiot. "I'm coconuts you stupid mornons!" eeked Coconuts "And why aren't you guys talking like Furry Beavis And Butthead?" Grounder dumbly blurted "DUUUUH Beavis and Butthead....DATA NOT FOUND!" Coconuts ooked "Whatever ;et's just kill Sonic!" Scratch idiotically screamed "HAA HAHAAHAA!!! Variable "SONIC" not defined!! HAHAHAAA!!!" "Where you idiots born YESTERDAY!" Coconuts madly yelled "DUUUH!" said Grouned "DUUUH We were born just 10 minutes ago DUUUUHHH DUUH!" Scratch said in addition " HAHAHAHAAAAA! YEAH! Manufactured at Robot plant 28-B. ONE PLUS ZERO MINUTES AGO ... THAT IS ... HA HA HAAAA! I DONT KNOW MATH!! HAHAHAAA!!" Coconuts explained quickly "Sonic is priority 1 we have to kill him because Robotnik told us too!" "DUUUUHHHH" drolled Grounder "ADMINISTRATOR ACCESS GRANTED DUUUHHHH! INPUT ACCEPTED ... Duhh KILL SONIC duuh dUURR DUUH!!!!" ---------- YARD "HUH hUH DuUUAAAHH dis wil lWORK! " Grounder blurted stupidly. He inflated a Fiona Fox decoy. "AHHAHAHAAAAA what a great trap!" Scratch yelled Sonic sees them but he has a plan. "Can't trick the ol' hedgehog that easy!" Sonic zooms up to the fional fox doll. He moans "Ah! Mi amore!! You are so beutiful! " Sonic kisses the decoy "muahh muahh Oh I love you let's get married!" He carries the doll to the garden shed. (weird sounds start coming from the shed) Scratch says "Uhh...HAHA...what do we do now Grounder" Grounder shrugged "DUUUHHH....I DONT KNOW!" Sonic comes out of the shed dressed like a sexy female Grounder-bot. (Sonic lifts up the head and winks to the audience) Grounder says "DUUUUUHHHH.... OOOOOH BABY WOW!" a train whistle comes out of his head and toots WHOOOOOOO "Tee-hee!" says the Grounder girl. Then she punches Grounders head off! "DUUURRHH DUUUHH" Grounder yelled . Sonic rips off the Grounder disguise. He waves his finger at Grounder and Scratch. "I'm gonna shove you robo-heads up your own metal butts!!!" Scratch dimly asked "HA HA HA HAAA! How?" "LIke this rooster-head!" Sonic shouted. Sonic picked up grounders head and stuffed it inside Scratch's metal butt. Then he kicked off scratch's head and put it on grounders body. Then he shoved scratch's head up grounder's metal butt! Then he shoved Grounder up Scratch's metal butt! "I'm such an artiste. " Sonic observed "Well better than Ken Penders anyway." Sonic opened up Scratch chestplate and pushed the self-destruct button. The screen said INPUT PASSCODE TO AUTHORIZE AUTO-DESTRUCT. Sonic hmmed "These robo heads look like they're just manufactured. Must've come through the time portal. So that means, Robuttnik's default passcode should work." Sonic input >6969 The screen blinked "DR ROBOTNIK ACCESS AUTHORIZED. DETONATING NUCLEAR REACTOR IN 10....9..." Sonic kicked the mangled ball of robots and it landed in the neighbors yard. KKKEEERRRRRBOOOOOOMMMITTTYYY!!! A nuclear detonation left a huge crater. "Hole in one! Chow, babies" Sonic cheered. ------------ 1 minute later Coconuts was watching the fight "OOkk ook uh oh!" he scaredly said "I've gotta kill sonic myself." He sapped his fingers "I got it!" Coconuts pulled out a suitcase. He rummages throguh it and throws out a baanana, a can of beans, a live shark, a Candy Kong body pillow and then... "Ah ha here it is! " Coconuts proclaimed "A Satan-3 nuclear missile! This oughtta do it!" Coconuts started the launch sequence but SOnic saw it and gulped "Egad! That mondo missle could so serious damaage to the ol hedgehog hairdo. Gotta jam a plan faster than buttered spam." FOWWWWWSSSHHH!! The missle takes off into space! Then comes straight back down the the same spot! Sonic runs up in the air and turns into a ball. He spinzooms onto the missile and spindashes around and around it building up more speed. Then BAAAZOOOMM!!!! He jumps off the missle and bops Coconuts on the head killling him. The missile curves in the air and changes course! It flies far away and blows up somewhere in Canada. NNUUUUKKKAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!!!!! There goes our maple syrup. "Hedgehog one, dumbbots nothin!" Sonic yeah'd. Then went to the house. ----------- ALTERNATE ST LOUIS THE DARK TOWER OF KEN PENDERS Davey-kins Kintobor, Johnny Briz and DUKE NUKEM stomp into the lobby of Ken's dark tower. They see a black man in a space suit. He drones "BEEP BEEP HAIL KEN PENDERS!" Duke badassley says "HAIL TO THE KING BABY" and blows him to chunks with the DEVASTATOR! (dual missile launchers) KLANNNG "Hey look!" exclaimed Johnny Birz. Metal parts are now laying a pool of oil. He tastes it. "This is oil! It's a robot" "Hrrm" pondered Dave "So these african-american astronauts are actually some kind of PENDERSbots." Johnny Briz chucks an Ace of Spades at another PENDERSBOT head. Shunk! "BEEEP BEEP DRONE BEEP BEEP" drones the bot. The card explodes also detonating the robot. "Yep sounds liek a robot to me! ha=ha" yapped Johnny Briz.. -------------- The trio fought their way throguh Ken Pender's legion of traps and robo-soldiers. It was the most epic battle of their lives but eventually they reached the throne room. The dark lord Ken Penders sat atop his throne of comic books. "ha haha" he evilly laughed "I see you made it past my guards. Very impressive especially with that metal arm Davey-Kins ha ha!" "Phrack you Penders!" davey yelped "TIme for sally revenge comic part 2: I shoot your head off" "oooh ho ho ho I don't think so Gonter Man!" Penders scowlerd. "It is only because of a slight accident that you are here!" "Huh" gulped David "Oh! He doesn't know HA HAH A HE DOESN'T KNOW!!" Ken cackled venomusly "As I recall your history teacher di that to you..." "Yeah" mutterd Davey "BUt thats in the past besides you did worse things to the freedom fighters" "The past!!" yelled Ken "HEE HEE HAA HAA" [flashback] (classroom) History Teacher: My great great great grandmama had to shoot a slave owner to escape. and thats why white people are bad especially KINTOBORS!!! Ken Penders: What did she mean by that Davey boy David: She blames me for the SINS OF THE FATHERS Ken: No! Listen again! Tearcher: *points shotgun* Y'all take me to yer estate and free the slaves! --------- A FARM AT NIGHT 1800s A black man in a space suit punches through the wall!!! "BEEP BOOP BEEP. GREETINGS HUMANOID. YOU ARE LIBERATED BEEP BOOP!" droned the "man". "Well thanky'all kindly stranger." said a woman "What's your name?" The, yes , robot droned "BEEEP ... ACESSING....I AM COWBOY JANGO. " "Jango you gotta help me free the other saves on Calvin Candys ranch" she asked "NEGATIVE" droned the bot "NEW DIRECTIVE. TERMINATE SLAVE OWNER , TARGET: DAVID KINTOBOR. BIGGEST SLAVER IN PRE-CIVIL WAR AMERICA. BEEP BEEP." "That no good badnik is gonna pay" she said. Robot handed her a shot gun. "LOCATION CONFIRMED. WE MUST JOURNEY TO ST LOUIS. I KNOW A SHORT CUT. DROONNE" the robot lied They go into a portal and.... BLLAAAMMM AUUUGHHHH!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! --------- [flashback over[ Davey blurted "WHAAAT! " Ken explained sinisterly "Yes..I used your history tearcher's ancestor as an untraceable assassin. The only problem was she missed and only shot your arm off!" David was in shock . He furiously screamed "You ruined almost half of mah life KEN PENDERS!!!" Johnny Briz pulled out his magic wand. Dauk Nukem loaded the chaingun. Duke shouted "I'M GONNA THROW YOU OFF A BUILDING LIKE PRINCESS SALLY" "mwa ha ha ha" laughed Ken! Brisby shot magic PEW PEW PEW Duke shot bullets BLAMBLABMLABMAMLB David Kintobor fired the SHOT GUN! CRACK DCRAKC CRACK!!! Ken Penders was unhittable because of his super fast teleportation ability. Duke get out the shrink ray. He fired it but Ken help up a mirrior and bounced the shot back at Duke. BEWWWE! "eeeeeeep!" screamed tiny Duke. Ken tried to step on him but Duke ran into a mouse hole.. The fight continued... --------------- SONIC UNKNOWN BUILDING Sonic walked up to the building. A sign said "Mobius Labs Scientific Research". Sonic said "hmmm" then rang the doorbell. A fat, but not as fat as eggman, man opened the door. He looked like robotnik but older. "Oh hello there!" said the man. Sonic asked "What is this place? Dude I'm mondo lost" "Why this is the Mobius Research company facility. My name is Dr. Gerald Robotnik" said Dr. Gerald Robotnik. "GUUUAWHHHAAT!" sonic burped "RO-BUTT-NIK?" "No, RO-BOT-NIK" corrected Gerald. "Please come inside my furry friend! I must show you something" "Furry FRIEND?" said sonic "Why would a Robuttnik have furry friend?" "Huh" questioned Gerald "I thought I had a reputation as a huge furry lover. Hmm maybe not everone has heard..." They go inside. "Can I offer you a drink?" said Gerald. "Got anyy Mountain Due doc?" Sonic begged Gerald got Sonic a Mountain Dew from the friedge. Sonic looked at the can "Mountain D-E-W?" he spelled "Somebody mustve made a spelling mistake at the can factory" "Do you have a name, hedgehog?" inqured Gerald. "Yeah" said Sonic while drinking Mountain Due "Sonic T. Hedgehog" "T?" asked the Dr. "The " answered Sonic "It's a really common middle name where I come from." "And do you have any abilities people would condier...er...special?" asked Doc Gerald. Sonic thought "Hmm...well I jam past cool on my guitar...and I look good...oh and this!" Sonic ran around the walls and ceiling knocking stuff over yelling "YEEAHH WOO PAST COOL JUCING PEANUT JAM!!" "Amazing!" said Dr. Gerald "I knew you were one of mine!!" "Uhh..what come again Doc?" Sonic said confudsed. ------------- DR GERALDS LAB Gerald said "Ever since I was a small boy I loved furries. They're so cute n cuddly! Many of my fellow humans called me a traitor. My own great grandfather Ivo was a supposedly notorious furry-hater...But all I wanted to do was bring an end to the furry wars. Furries and humans should live in peace" Sonic said "uh huh" Gerald continued " As you know G.U.N. the global human government has decided all furries must be exterminated. Some foolish humans believe they'll catch diseases just from being around furries. Nonsense! Sadly, the predujiced humans are winning this fight. That's why I've been trying to create an ULTIMATE LIFE FORM. To save the furry race!" Dr GErald turned on a TV. Sonic saw a black hedgehog in a tube. "This was my first attempt. This hedgehog theoretically would have had SUPER POWERS. 30 years ago he disappeared when anti-furry death squads attacked my lab." "But.." said Dr Gerald "I believe he survived. BEcause of you! The black color was the result of a mutation. Originally, He was genetically engineered to be blue...." Sonic froze. Sonic was having a flashback!! Rotor: I have genetically engineered this apple to be blue Rotor: ..genetically engineered/... Sonic screamed "HUUUUHH!!!!! THAT MEANS>>>!>" Furry Butters: loo loo loo...I've got some apples... Sonic was rolling around on the floor " Nooo...this means I was a genetically engineered FURRY WEAPON!? Invented by a ROBUTTNIK??" Furry Professor Chaos: *holding a blue apple* AAAH HA HA HA HA HA!!!! ------------ THE FLOOR Sonic woke up on the floor "oog" Dr Gerald panicly said "Wake up Sonic! Are you all right?!" Sonic moaned "uuhh what did you say docc urrg" Dr Gerald said "I was saying that you must be one of Subject HEDGEHOG-01's offspring! And then you passed out?" That's when something flew in. It was a baby that was part goat, part troll, part unicorn and part lobster. Or something. Sonic thought the baby looked super ugly. Then he recognized it "GuuHH HURR WAHH!!!" he splurted. Gerald said "Ah, this is my new life form. Isn't he cute?" "GRR! GAAAHH!! UURRRG" croaked the thing. "His name is Naugus. The end result of project I.X.I.S. I named him after my character from D&D." GErald explained. The baby flew around spitting goop. Gerald professed "He was created from the DNA of many different specicies, most notably the hydra. In theory this would make him immortal. So far he has demonstrated remarkable telekenic abilities from a young age!" Baby Naugues knocked over a table with his mind smashing all the lab equipment. "HEE HEE!" cuckled Gerald "This cute widdle baby is the key to the furries future. Sonic, please join us and fight for FURRY JUSTICE!" Sonic said "Fock that man!" he zoomed away and grabbed a bmetal baseball bat. "I'm gonna smash your brains out little Naugus!" Sonic yelled "Chow, babay!!!!" "NOOOOO!" screameed Dr. Gerald "No my precious snookums wookums you monster nooOO!!!"" Sonic was about to crack the babys skull for a HOME RUN then... YEEEEEEP Sonic was dragged into a portal that opened out of nowhere!!! -------------- KEN PENDERS DARK TOWER Dave-Kins and johnny Briz were still fighting the evil Ken. Davey got tired and fell over. "If only we could stom him from doi nthe teleportin" Davey pondered. "That's it!" he said "Yo Brisby, do the anti-teleportation jinx" "OK" Johnny Briz waved his magic wand "STOPPO TELEPORTO!!!" YONNK "ooof" Ken puffed JOhnny briz hit him right in the neck with a wedge of razor cheese. Then suddenly CCCCHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!!! Went David Kintobors SAWD OFF SHOT GUN!! Ken's meaty chunks flew off his torso. "Le'ts finish 'im J.B.!!" Daviey yelled Johnny Briz kicks Ken square in the NUTZ! Then does the STONE COLD STUNNER!!! THRREEEEE-SIXXTEEENNN!!!! Davey-kins runs back and forth and...ZAAAAAPP! He drops THE PEOPLE'S ELBOW!!!! "BLAARRGGGLLL!!!" hurgled Ken Penders.. Blood flys everywhere! But Ken gets back up and laughs HAHAHAHAHA Ken holds up a syringe "Bwahaha. Now witness the power of THE PERFECT FURRY VIRUS!!" *squeep* he jams it in his arm. "AAARRRGGG!" Ken went as he was mutating. David and J Briz stared at him as he changed into... Johnny and Davey both yelled "GEOFFREY ST. JOHN!!!!???!" Geoffrey was standing in front of them instead of Ken. "How do I look, buffooons? fa-ha-ha-ha" he taunted like a stupid baby. POP POP! Geoffry quickly shot both of them with his stun gun that he qiuckdrew. "UUrrg!" Davey horked "What in the name of sweet mother of PHRACK is goin on here??!" "Yes Mr. -Kins" Ken explained ''Twas me all along. The awesome and handsome super spy Geoffrey St John is Ken Penders final evolutionary form" "We've reached the point in time where I've modified the furry virus into my perfect version." Ken/Geoff ranted "This has happened many times before in Mobius'es history." "Why Geoff, Whay?" cried out Davey-kins Ken rambled on "In the Eggman Nega dimension you saw what happened when the Chaos Emeralds power collided with the Sol emeralds power. It created what I call a SUPER GENESIS WAVE! A chaotic event that destory the entire universe!" "N-nooo! ha-ha." chattered Johhny Briz Ken spewed "And during the battle of the crystal mine, Chaos ate the core of Mobius and blew it up, another super genesis wave event of my doing" heh heh! "You see buffoons" Geoff spat "I have to do this because the universe is WRONG!! Princess Sally, she is like the most beautiful apple...ahhh! But alas she never chooses ME as her true love!! ARRG ITS NOT FAIR!!! And it keeps happening no matter how many times I blow up the universe and force Silver to reset everything!!" "Y-y-ou are a A EVIL MOTHER PHRACKER" Davey-said. "SHUT UPPPP!!!" Geoffry bellowed "But everything is different this time around!! I don't need smelly old sally acorn!! I modified the furry virus into something even greater! I have made a world of perfect echidnas of my own design. And I will rule over them as the beloved and sexy king of planet PENDERS!!!" "PENDERS...*HURHG* .. GEOFF.." Davey spit blood wahile taliking "Whatever the PHRACK you wanna call yourself..I goota tell you..*HACKK* Those echidnas are the UGLIEST THINGS IVE EVER SEEN IN MY PHRACKIN LIFE SO HELP ME DESTINY" Ken kicked him the the nose "Dorf!" Davey blurted in pain. "And now it's time for me to finish the job teacher lady couldn't.....to MAKE YOU DIE DAVID KINTOBOR!!" Geoff shouted. BOOOOMMMM That's the sound of a rocket launcher blowing up a wall. Out stepped DUKE NUKEM. He shot Geoff with a rocket right in the EYE. Geoff "TYEERkgHH! nOoooOO!!" Duke grabbed Geoffry by his neck and threw him out the window to HIS DEATH! "AAHHHH HOO HOO HOO WEEEEEE!!!" screamed the evil Geoffrey St John. *KA-THUNK* Duke growled "ENDGAME, MOTHERFUCKER" "ha-ha always bet on Duke" Briz beeped. "Time to light this candle" Davey quipped. Davey-kins knocked over a torch (intentionally) and set the tower on fire. "HOW THE HELL DO WE GET OUTTA HERE" Duke asked "Johnny Briz pulled 3 jet-packs out of his top hat "Always be prepared to jump off a tower I always say ha-ha-!" They take off and fly into the air ZIIIIIP The evil tower of crappy comics collapses burning into ash. --------------- TIME PORTAL Sonic flew through a time portal yet again! "woah..." Sonic said boredly because it happens so much. "ssssooonniiccc" hissed the Oracle "Um YO ORACLE DUDE!" Sonic demanded "Tkae me back to that other time so I can make a baby Naugus pancake!" "Sonic I cannot!" the Oracle moaned "But I sense the EVIL POWER's control over time has weakened. We can now correct the historical events, and then I can bring thou the CHAOS EMERALDS" "About time in time " Sonic muttered The Oracle squacked "Thou must defeat the Kitsune in battle before he changes history irrepraarbly>" "How the chilidogs do I do that?" Sonic inqusitively stated. "I will devlier you to the time just before he sprays the Greenday fans with the virus. All you need to do is...ahh..how you say....juice and jam his buttocks" "OK" said Sonic Sonic took a deep breath and SCREAMED "iiiit's SLAMMA WAMMA JAMMA BAMMA HEGGITY HOG PEANUT BUTTER ON A CHILIDOG WAY PAST FAST BLASG TO THE PAST HONKY TONKY WONKY DONKEY JUUUUUUUIIIICCCEEEE TTTIIIIIIIIMMMEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The oracle gave a thumbs up and whispered "yaaay" ------------ EARTH GREEN DAY CONCERT Sonic speedrolled out the time portal like a hedgehog warp speed firing on all cyclinders. Then he heard waht sounded like a jumbo jet... VVVVRRRNEEERRRROOOMMMMMM He say the 9 tailed Kitsune fly in spinning all his tails. Sonic did a quick HOMING STRIKE! QUAFF! "WuuHOO WOOAAAHH" went Kilo Prower as he crash landed on stage into a speaker tower. "Yooooo BUTTMUCH!" Sonic called out "I don't know which one of Tails uncles you are.." "Tails? Yes I have tails" said Kilos Prower "And what of it" "No no no" Sonic said "I mean Tails..uh ... Miles Prower" "Oh I have a descendent names Miles Prower in the future? Hmm must be an American" Sonic grabbed his head and yelled "ARRRG NOOOO!! SHUT UP !!! SHUT THE FOCK UP!!!! All you BOATHEADS need to stop makin a mess of the 'ol quantum synchronicity because all this time travel boogaloo makes the 'ol hedgehogs brain hurt!" "You FOOL!" declared Kilos "I have come here to put an end to the furry war before it even begins!" "man" said Sonic "Uh, Boat-Head, furries are doing fine 3000 years in the future so just fock off, okay?" "No" responded Kilos "Okay wefight then! YEAHAHHAH" SOnic screamed and then he turned into a blue ball they fly at each toher and BOOOMMITY BOOM CRASH ROOCKOOWW BEERZZZAPPOO PPINNG POOONNGG CNIAEHH FNNEERRRGG!!!! The crow watched in amazement and this incredible battle taking place in front of them. Sonic did a HEDGEHOG-RYo_KEN!!! YAAAABBOOOMM!! Kilos gets knocked around like a soggy sock! But the fox comes back with a 9-tailed SLAPPEROO! Right to sonics head! BIFF BIFF BIFF BIFF BIFF BIFF BIFF BIFF BIFF!! Meanwhile Greenday was watching this. Mike Dirt: Who is that blue blur? Tre Cool: He's moving faster than is even possible Billie Joe: Then wouldn't that make him... Mirke Dirnt: Most definitly some kind of a... ALL: WALKING CONTRADICTION! Green Day sings "Walking Contradiction" by Green Day. "OOHH YEEAHH!" hooted Sonic "This is deinfinately my peanut butter and JAM!! WAAAY PAST COOL!!" Sonic did flips in the air and spinned around ducking under Kilos' double dragon spinning kick. Sonic did an upward drill in the air knocking the fox into the dump set! KAABOOFF.. BOONG>> ... KRRISSH Kilos Prower had a drum on his head. SOnic grabs drum sticks and does a SOLO!!! The crowd cheers this. Sonic cranked up the amp to 11 (breaking the knob off because iamps only go to 10) and then stole the microphone and yelled "YOOOOUUU SUUUUCCCKKKK" The Soundwave blased the kitsune into a pile of audio junk! BZZERRKKKK! ZAP ZAP ZAP!!! Billie Joe said "Excusme me! Blue shark man!" "That's HEDGEHOG!" said Sonic then looking carefully "OH WOW!! IT'S HUMAN BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG!!" "The one and only!" he replied "What's your name sir?" "I' Sonic the Hedheog and I'm the FASTEST THING ALIVE!" Sonic announced Green Day huddles for a minute and then starts singing a brand new song that goes like this... ~ BLUE STREAK SPEEDS BY SONIC THE HEDGEHOG! ~ "Great tune I gotta rememeber it" Sonic said "WIsh I could stay and jam past cool, but I gotta juice and jam on that fox-butt" Sonic did a flying upward spindash hyperloop on Kiso Prower kocking him through the roof! Now they're fighting on the roof. ------------ THE ROOF The battle looked AWESOME as they fought under an October greenday moon. Sonic rollin around at the speed of sound...BUT.. THe sinister and mysterious KILOS PROWER had the same natural ability for Kung-Fu as Tails diid, Sonic noted. THe kitsune did kung-fu attacks! WIIEEEE SPAAK SPAKK!! Sonic oofed "HURF" a kick to the hedgehog potbelly. Sonic came bac k with spindash after spindash but Kilo Prower was FLYING FAST .. VRRROOMMMMMMM using all 9 tails then divebombs sonic with the JUMPKICK OF THE TRUE KITSUNE (in Jpanese: JUMPKIKKO KITSUNE DESSUUU) The evenly matched pair fought until finally with maximum effort Sonic spindashed him until he died. Sonic kicked him off the room with a mighty SONIC BOOT. *ppeeewww* *BLORP* he fell into a conviently placed TIME PORTAL?! SOnic "awww not again" ---------- SONIC SEES The Oracle again. The oracle removes his hood and... Sonic said "Ooohhh .." The Oracle was none other than SILVER THE HEDGEHOG!! -------------